My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Because Everything's Better With The Muppets

It's time to bake the music,


It's time to write the slights!


It's time to make some carnage,

At the bakery tonight!

[bahdum dum dum]

It's time to put on makeup,


It's time to dress up right,

By the incredibly talented Say it with Cake!


It's time that we departed,


It's not for the fainthearted,


Oh boy I bet that smarted!

On the least sensational,


This is what we call the Cake Wrecks Shooooooow!



Thanks to Brianna S., Kate, Stacy F., Vanessa M., Shakera, & Anna I. for the ear worm. And also for getting the Muppet song stuck in our heads.


And now, a little palate cleanser:

« Sunday Sweets: Drama Queens | Main | Half-Off Wreckage! »

Reader Comments (81)

That Hippo cake is really skillfully executed. I wouldn't have the heart to eat it... nor the inclination, now that I come to think about it.

[Editor's note- You are absolutely right. We couldn't find the baker's website so if anyone knows it, let me know and I'll put it in the link. Thanks! -john (thoJ)]

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdocbanger

S and M hippo and elephantiasis leg will haunt me O_o

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That toejam cake....I cant....I just cant.....

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCW

I can only read that as 'smelly pirate hooker', are her clientele stinky pirates or does she need to wash her eye patch, frock coat and wooden leg? I need to know!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

There are enough wrecks here to fuel nightmares for about three months.

"Quick! Splash and drizzle the trombone with chocolate syrup! They'll never notice!"

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

It’s not that easy reading Wrecks,
Having to spend each day looking at such crap,
When it could be nicer seeing flowers, puppies or roadkill
Or something much more appealing like that.

Its not easing reading Wrecks.
Its seems you’re faced with so many other horrific things.
And wreckers tend to make cakes that are jarring,
Not standing out like tasteful , charming Sunday Sweets or
Something (anything!) nice.

But Wreck’s the only site here
That’s both cool and snarky-like.
And Wrecks show me zombie-like Geishas, and ripe pirate hookers
And whatever that red thing's supposed to be.

When wrecks are all there are to see,
It could make you wonder why, but why wonder why
Wonder, I’ll read Wrecks to see the fine wrecks, they’re confounding
And I think they’re what I want to see.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

A disturbing, late-braking thought relative to the cake-like item posted a few days ago that was "decorated" by repeatedly dragging the fingers through the icing;
What does one naturally do to the gobs of icing adhering to the finger tips before the next trip through the icing?

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Oh but this is not fair the hippo is certainly NOT a wreck! Would qualifiy for an inaproppiate cakes edition of Sunday Sweets.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM

Best post ever.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNadia

anybody reminded of this when you saw that hippo cake?

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNickolina

I want that Dom hippo cake for my birthday in 18 days she is hawt!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhetaliafangirl

this is a better clip...has the whole thing with the dancing hippos.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNickolina

Sexy Hippo is awesome.

Lazy Eye Geisha, not so much.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSolarmama

#1 Retrospect. This word was chosen to commemorate the moment when realization struck that a CCC is never a good idea.

#2 Never order an insult cookie between the hours of four and six pm, unless your intended victim actually is an aparttment-dwelling piratte.

#3 Please don't make me know the back story on this. I want it to have started out as a nice-looking cake, only the driver took a wrong turn and wound up winning the Indy 500 before finally finding his or her way home.

#4 "Once you have found her, never let her go..." without her thyroid medication, ever again.

#5 Doesn't this just have to be competently executed. I'm somewhat curious about the story on this one, but I'm afraid it will make some kind of sense, and the universe will never again be the same.

#6 See #1.

#7 Kennon likes monsters, right? This was verified? This could be the most artfully concealed CCC I've yet seen, which may or may not add to the scary factor.

#8 No curiosity here. None. [Reaches for Unsee Machine]

#9 Jamming the mouthpiece that far into the bell is a sure sign that the trombone was not someone's first choice of instrument. Whether player or listener I don't know, but they evidently decided to celebrate with cake.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Did the T-Rex get hold of Kermit to create Wreck #2?

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Anyone who can pun the words to the Muppet Song is aces in my book!!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSueZQ

Retrospective cake
gets used to disappointment.
Not real buttercream.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

The hippo. Oh my!!!

The trombone cake might have worked if they hadn't covered it with shiny ganache, syrup, whatever. :P

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Smelly Pirate Hooker! It's from Two of my favorite blogs meet, it's such a small multiverse.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I miss the Muppet Show.

Admit it, "smelly pirate hooker" is John's pet name for Jen.

So which one of you ordered the happy hooker hippo (hippo dominatrix) cake?

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

I so totally didn't need to see that hippo.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

THE EYES!! Both the geisha and the hippo winking at me (WHY is she winking at me?) are going to reappear at parent-teacher conferences, I just know it.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

What's weird is that when I close my eyes, I can see that toe jam cake.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

I'm on team hippo. Sorry.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterchannamasala

Oh boy, have I got an opening joke for you... never mind, it looks like the Wrecks beat me to it! Ahhhh?

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Cake numero 5 reminds me of 'Meet the Feebles'

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

It's days like these when I wish we had a few more background stories about why these cakes were ordered. Or, as Craig pointed out, how cake #3 ended up the way it did. Please tell me it got tossed about in the car on the way home while avoiding two accidents, and not that someone ordered a cake to look like a tossed salad.

Very stressful day ahead. Thanks for the laughs!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I kinda like #7 - it looks like a Gorn!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVal

Hey, hippos don't have...
Just forget it. Movin' right along.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLDM

Thanks a lot Jen - I had to stop myself from humming along more than once!


June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky W

So now, I will forever wonder if she is a hooker only for smelly pirates or if she, with a hygiene problem, is employed as both pirate and hooker.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

In RETROSPECT, I have to say that the "colon" is tilted.
(I'd probably end up with a tilted colon, too, if I were to eat that day-glo crap.)

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

for me, the worst one is the toejam. because i am guessing, and i REALLY hope i am wrong - this was someone who is diabetic and had to have toes removed. and then that was celebrated - WITH CAKE. that is the only conclusion i can come to - which is a horrible horrible thing.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

Well, "one" licks it off, "naturally".
What's a few gagimillion germs between friends...

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

In retrospect, inventing a double-dotted half-eighth note was probably a bad idea.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWorrierPrincess

Now I want a dragon dominatrix cake.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

While #2's balloons don't really look like balloons, they don't look like li'l swimmers, either. So, there's that.

Hey! I think Godzilla looks great, too.

The 'No More Toe Jams' cake reminds me of Aunt Marge when she got blown up. Er, like a balloon. Not exploded.

Awww, Wonder Woman dropped her magic lasso in a mud puddle. No, I suppose it doesn't really look much like a magic lasso, but neither does it look like a trombone!

@SuBee: Bravo!

@Shirley Fawley: Teehee!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Thanks, @anony mouse, for identifying that last cake. I was wondering what a huge misshapen bracelet had to do with music notes.
Add me as a sexy hippo lover. It is the fishnet stockings that got me.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

SPEAKING of "Jack-in-the-box," the 3rd thing down could easily be nicknamed a "Gack-in-the-box".
I know, no one actually mentioned "Jack-in-the-box". That's why I brought it up...(heh,heh).
((Hollering:"Hey! Can I get a NAPKIN over here?!?"))

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

And John and Jen are like Statler and Waldorf, sitting back and providing the humorous commentary... :)

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenna


Ok, got that out of my system now... :-) Would stick around & comment more but got errands to run...maybe later... Least I saw Sharyn's masterful parody, Craig's latest list & Haiku Joy's Haiku of the Day. PS to Haiku Joy - I taught A & P lab for a year @ the local community college. Shout out if you need some help, K? And I suggest getting some mini-models of the skeleton & bones to help learn all the names. Also an A & P coloring book. Yep, it's real & very, very helpful. Med students swear by it. And post lists in the bathroom to review each time...ok, that's probably TMI but it works!!! (and it's no worse sounding than looking @ these wrecks!!! :-)

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Is the name on the green thing "Kennon"?
I wonder if maybe little Kennon is gonna have himself/herself *fun* from preschool all the way up to THERE with a special name like that. But good way to toughen the kid up, y'know?! (I know, because my daughter has an unusual name that her father had picked, and she HATED it all the way up to high school, when she decided that it was REALLY UNIQUE and COOL, and started loving it!)

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@WorrierPrincess. Ha! Brilliant. Music geeks unite!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Little-known fact. Japanese women in the Edo period, who were supposed to perform seppuku (hara-kiri) did not actually cut their bellies like men, but their throats for a quicker death.

The Geisha depicted here seems to have had to perform that ceremony.

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

I wonder what that third cake was supposed to have been before it got smushed? There was an awful lot of....stuff on it by the looks of it. o_O

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K.

Hurrah for the Muppets - both the post and Su-Bee's FANTASTIC "Being Green" redux. Really made my Friday. Also, I should really REALLY know my now, but "Gack-in-the-box" nearly resulted in a colourful display of herbal tea on the keyboard and dual screens. Bravo! :)

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

In keeping with today's themes the Muppets, dirty pirates and John Cleese (the special guest in the theme song clip), I give you this:

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlunadog

smelly pirate hooker is a quote that actually originated from Anchorman. Ron Burgundy tells Veronica Corningstone that she is a smelly pirate hooker!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterakb9x

Ouch. My head hurts. I just can't un-see that hippo!!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteryevocyllek

Just what we need when our toes have been removed, a cake to celebrate! It is wrong, just wrong. Cake #3 has got to be somebody placing the sack of potatoes on the box as you go through checkout or something or maybe the dog threw up on it!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAudB

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>