My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Play Telephone

Ever wonder what could possibly go wrong with a simple inscription on a basic cake? Well, WONDER NO MORE. 

Below I've listed the inscriptions some of my trusty Wreckporters ordered from professional bakeries, followed by the cakes they actually received:


"God Bless Neal"

I hear it's His middle name.


"Welcome Baby Arnold"

The spacing is what really sells it.


"Happy Birthday Mom"

Now that's a cake only a mother named Bob could love.

[Btw, I'm starting to wonder if a baker named Bob is doing these on purpose. And if so, I want to shake Bob's hand.]


"Congrats British Lit"

I hope this starts a trend; I want to see all the ways bakers butcher "Kyrgyzstanian."


"Happy Bandwidth Upgrade Day"

"Band With Upgrade" is the name of my retro Steam Powered Giraffe cover band.

(I realize only about 3 people will get that joke... and I'm ok with that.)


"Grats to Dad"

I like to think this is the baker's revenge on everyone who shortens "congratulations" to "grats." "CONGRATS" IS SHORT ENOUGH, PEOPLE.


"Old Dirty Thirty"

At some point you stop being surprised. Or so I'm told.


"When I'm 64"

That's actually how John says it when he's singing in his "drunk McCartney" voice, so maybe Kit sang her order over the phone. Drunk. While imitating Paul McCartney. 

(Don't keep us in suspense, now, Kit: did you?)


Thanks to Colleen C., Suzanne R., Morgan & Eric, Katie D., Ethan D., Leslie C., Becky L., & Kit K. for really phoning it in today. ;)

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Reader Comments (65)

@Craig I read your comment about cake #5 as balls of yam, which sounded like a new recipe to me, but not necessarily something I'd want on a cake.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Was at Youmacon with my daughter and saw SPG panel. Loved them!!

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Good one, @drgsn4vr. This is one of those fractal things, right? Where the joke folds in on itself. You'd probably want to leave the pushpins out of the yam balls, though that would tend to make the recipe rather pointless. (It's early, here. Work with me, ok?)

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

"Only about 3 people" will get the SPG reference: true for large values of 3.
Either that, or we have Arthurian counting: "One, two, FIVE!"
...."Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!!"
(Arthur, presumably a fair bit later) "Three!"

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSnapdragon

Errors aside, the script on that first cake is BEAUTIFUL.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNatalia

Steam Powered Giraffe!! They are awesome. These cakes...well, not so much.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJude

Steam Powered Giraffe!! They are awesome. These cakes...well, not so much.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJude

SPG for the win! I miss Upgrade so much!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterZombiEdward

The old dirty thirty was my b-day cake! My boyfriend was actually standing at the counter, talking to them over the shoulder spelling it out. The baker was so confused they just kept writing "30" instead of the "d-i-r-t-y t-h-i-r-t-y" like he was saying slowly to them... ha ha.

July 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I got the SPG too!! And, oddly enough, it was NOT you who introduced me to them!

July 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

Steam Powered Giraffe is coming to Metacon in Minneapolis, and I'm not going to lie, they are one of the biggest reasons I want to go. The BIGGEST reason, though, is Billy Freaking West.

July 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDK

So glad to find so many people who like SPG! This totally made my day. :D <3

July 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I guess I am one of the three that got the Steam Powered Giraffe joke haha!

August 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

When my mom was 62, we asked the bakery to write "Happy 62nd Birthday" on the cake. When I picked it up it said "Happy 60 Second Birthday". I fixed it with a can of icing before we brought it to the restaurant - wish I had taken a picture of it! (this was 20 years ago, before CW, or I would have submitted it here for SURE!)

October 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTina Healy-Leather

Niiiiice SPG reference :D

December 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterYip Yippington

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