My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen



Now available in cupcakes!



Oh, and while we're at it...



[[jazz tentacles]]





"This will end in tears."


And, uh, Derpy here just wants a hug:


Thanks to Rebecca S., Kristin S., Diane H., April R., & Lesley M. for joining me in a rousing rendition of "Octopodes have EIGHT legs, bakers. EIIIIGHT!" And now...  jazz tentacles!

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Reader Comments (76)

"Jazz tentacles" Hahahaha

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Sung to "Eight Days a Week"

Octo needs some sluggin'
Yes, you know it's true
Then some Broadway muggin'
Maybe limbo, too.
Cartwheels, darlin'. That's alarmin'.
Derpy just wants huggin'
Eight crazy feet.

(You thought I'd go for "Octopus Garden", didn't you?)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@sharyn :Octopus Garden would have been too easy& beneath your skill set. This was much better

At least fatalistic octopus has 8 legs even if he is a dreaded CCC

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

@Sharyn- actually, I thought you would compose "Blue Poo" for that last one!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

This is the first post where I laughed harder at the set-up non-cake picture then I did at the cakes. Don't get me wrong, the cakes were funny but that hook with the caption "Drunk octopus wants to fight" was awesome. I'd like to meet whoever wrote it. I bet they are a hoot!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Wait, are those Jazz Tentacles . . . OF JOY!!!! ?

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Let fashion help you
if you are a hexapus.
Bow tie distraction!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"jazz tentacles" = instant classic :)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwoodnwheel

@ Sharyn:("You thought I'd go for "Octopus Garden", didn't you?"):
You's still EARLY...((nudge, nudge))...

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Oh Derpy, you poor, misunderstood pile of blue dog poo, you..

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEtte

Is it bad that I want those drunk octopus cupcakes?

I don't even really like cupcakes, but I'd make an exception if someone brought me a batch of them! :)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKira

DERPY!! Octopus Derpy, but DERPY!!!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOMNOMCAKE!!!

This is one of my favorite posts ever.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBach the Hounddog

Jen, you just can't SEE the other tentacles because they're behind the octopus's poor, tortured body. Really, so critical! At least Devil Octopus CCC made it to eight, uh, "legs," and I think, if we could see it from the top, we'd see that Bluepoocotpus does, too.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I think "Fatalist Octopus" might be a spider, which probably doesn't help his outlook on life.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterashley

Seriously, they can't even be consistently wrong on those cupcakes. They don't even all have the same incorrect number of legs!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterquackers81

Wow. I need to send a link to this post to our wonderful zoo. They are very involved in finding and preserving unknown species. I bet they would be very interested in these "octopi", but I'm not sure they'd put them on display in the aquarium. They might frighten the children.

I want to meet the person who put the caption on "drunk octopus." I love it!

And "jazz tentacles" -- this will go down in history as one of the best expressions ever.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

And can somebody explain why the label on the drunk octopi says "Rotisserie Chicken"?

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJocelyn

Hahahahahahahaha Great post Jen

(And Sharyn and HaikuJoy -- marvelous as always ladies)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I just don't know what went wrong... with that last one.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

you had me at jazz tentacles! as for blue poo might I suggest ... nudibranchs!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

wait...this is Cake Wrecks...but what I see is octo-pi... (walks away humming "If you Knew Sushi Like I Know Sushi"....)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Look, it's the rare derptopus, possibly related to sharktopus.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMorticia

I actually think Fatalistic Octopus might be a crab, he looks pointy to me.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

My parents always said: "If you can't say something NICE, don't say anything at all." They were two amazingly sweet, kind, giving, and charitable people who set a wonderful example for their three children (even though one of us doesn't always follow said example *cringes slightly*).
In their honor, I'm going to try being nice~ right here, right now:
#1: NICE coat hook! Shiny! (Did I mention: "!" ?)
#2: NICE "choice-variety" with regards one's cookie "leg-count-preferences"!
#3: Al Jolson-Meets-Charlie Chaplin? NICE!
#4: Hey! Leggo my Legos!! Er-I mean, "NICE sextopus!"
#5: Looks more like Kermit-thee-Frog in a cooked-crab costume BUT a NICE *SHADE* of cooked!
#6: "It's a beautiful blue, but it hasn't any hood." (from an A.A.Milne poem w/ Winnie the Pooh)
Wow; it may be "easy being cheesy," but when critiquing these wrecks, being "nice" = the old "square peg/round hole" thing...
=^e.e^= (¿)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I have to believe that the red one was meant to be a crab (still a fail). I truly hope it was not an attempt at an octopus.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Good lord what is going on with those cakes?

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

@Jocelyn ~ Drunk octopi get hungry too! ;-)

Jazz tentacles is now my favorite phrase :-)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@ashley: ("I think "Fatalist Octopus" might be a spider, which probably doesn't help his outlook on life.")
Yeah? Well, it doesn't do MINE a whole lot of good, either. Spiders and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye on many subjects...In fact, I think it would be pretty creepy if we could (seeing as how I'd require 6 more eyes in order to be able to do it.). ~shudder~
e e
e e
e e

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

At least "Derpy" isn't brown. Just sayin'.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Now I totally want drunk fighting octopus cupcakes.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

From the title of this post, I was afraid Octo-Mom had gone off and spawned again, or something and Jen was about to memorialize it in cake. So I was both relieved and disturbed (an interesting feeling; you should try it sometime) to see the mangled octopodes.

@Jocelyn: I am familiar with that particular store chain, That-Shall-Not-Be-Named. They are particularly proud of their fresh roasted chickens, and put a tag on ALL their in-store products (deli, meat, and bakery) advertising them.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I think that Fatalistic Octopus is actually Fatalistic Crab..?

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSue

FATALISTIC OCTOPUS looks more like a king crab then an octopus to me.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Sharyn, don't lower yourself.

I've done it for you.


What’s this I see?
These cakes should be
At the bottom of a landfill, out of sight.

Six legs or eight?
Unhappy fate,
It’s no wonder these poor cupcakes wanna fight.

They’d like to wrap their malformed li-himbs
Around the guy who did that to them.

Jazz octo sings
Within the ring,
Somebody fetch this guy a cane and hat.

Six-legged blue
Is asking who
Ran him over with a truck and squashed him flat.

Gymnastic tricks are what he’ll try-hy!
This fatalistic octopus-guy.

And finally
Into the sea
With that octo pile of blue poop on a tray

Whoever could
Think that looks good?
Book that guy an eye test, right away!

This whole lot should be sent beneath the waves.



August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

@Jocelyn ("can somebody explain why the label on the drunk octopi says "Rotisserie Chicken"?)
I give up--maybe they're hoping no one will notice? But WAIT! There's MORE! ! It ALSO says, "WHY COOK TONIGHT?" So, maybe it's one of those "promotional" "two-for-the price-of-one " (a.k.a. "BOGO") deals. Get the chicken and have the cupcakes for dessert...! (pumping fist: "YES! That's IT!")

=^-.-^= How can you possibly go wrong.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"Jazz tentacles" just made my day. Thank you :)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

@ mel; (walks away humming "If you Knew Sushi Like I Know Sushi"....) So, what's the rest? Don't keep me/us hanging!
Wait-let me guess! Is it :"Oh, Oh, Oh, what a gag!" ?


August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Joan: Brava!!!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

"And uh, derpy here..." - thanks Jen. That's going to send me into fits of giggles all day :)

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

@Jocelyn--Everyone knows that if you don't know what flavor something is, it tastes like chicken.

An octopi stands
To perform in the fine arts.
Oh, Jazz Tentacles!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Hexapods exist!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Sure, "jazz tentacles" is a great expression, but it don't mean a thing until you actually give some one jazz tentacles today. Now, let's all go practice in front of the mirror.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermajime.koala

@Joan: Wow, right on par with Sharyn (and THAT is saying something)!

Awww, the limbo octopus just wants a tummy rub!

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

The rotisserie label is the print version of those announcements you hear in between Songs No One Recognizes (or Songs No One Wants To Admit They Recognize, depending on the store): "Attention, shoppers, please report immediately to the deli, where our deli technicians are serving up the most amazing dishes in the history of food!"

What is funny (to me, anyway) is that they put an ad for an entree on a dessert item. It's as if they know that shoppers are going to get the more important item first, then worry about what to have ahead of it. "Of course we're not having hexapus cupcakes for dinner! We're having, er, um...rotisserie chicken! Yeah, that's it! Wait -- what? Rush right over to the produce section, where they're doing amazing things with parsnips?! I'm there -- gangway!"

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I hope Theadare likes crabs & spiders.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Ah, HECK~I feel inspired (or maybe it's "expired" but what the hey.)
(TRY to hear the "Blue Moon" tune)

Blue goo,
you saw me standing alone
without a dream in my heart
without a cake of my own
Blue goo
You knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
A cake I really could care for
And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only cake my mouth will ever crave
I heard it whisper please consume me
But when I looked to the cake it started to cave
Blue Goo
Now I'm no longer alone
Without a cake on my plate
Without the blue in my poo
>Ducks from the garbage being thrown<

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I always enjoy these! But the orange octopus... I thought it was a spider lol

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

Mind being blown. Had insomnia last night, so actually went through a slideshow of Great Graffiti. "Drunk Octopus wants to fight" was one of them......
Now this.

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStar

Gotta tell ya... "jazz tentacles" ? ! ... Now that's funny !

August 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRA

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