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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar212014

A Courageous Display

Bakers, your display cakes can really make or break your business.

So maybe stop putting your old shoes on them?

 

See, you want to fill your windows with friendly faces:

 

And endearing characters:

 

Not to mention keep it all looking delicious!

 

Make sure you have a variety of occasion cakes out, to show your artistic range:

 

And don't be afraid to show off a little technical prowess!

 

Maybe show a little support for a worthy cause:

No matter how misspelled or misplaced.

 

And hey, when all else fails, try throwing a blouse over it:

PERF.

 

Thanks to Andrea A., Nat, Tiffany W., Camilla C., Colleen B., Anne B., Bonnie B., & Lisa for keeping that last one under wraps.

*****

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Reader Comments (39)

Sung to: You Are So Beautiful"

Shoes are so beautiful, to me
Nose pores are beautiful, to me
Can't you see?
Non-edible display cakes
From Du-uck Dynasty
They are so beautiful, to me.

Fleshy penile pustules, I think
Cardboard circle displays really stink
I could scream
A photo sight that shines in the light
Misspelled chronic disease
Please put a blouse on it, for me...

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The "Duck Dynasty" cake looks more like an old sea farer. All it needs is an earring and a parrot.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

That first one (if the shoe is part of the cake and not, as you suggested, a real shoe) is Sweet-worthy. The others . . . not so much.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

...took 5 minutes to figure out that #4 was...a...hmm..still not convinced--wait...OH!!!IT'S A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBwahahaha

#4 - WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?!?!?! I get the chicken, but what's with the weird, kind of plastic looking head thing with the HAIR on it? Who looked at that and said, "Nailed it!! That beauty is going in the display case STAT!!"?

Gick.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

lolol

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Well, I am relieved to see that others had trouble figuring out what that . . . . .chicken thing. . . . was. But I am still trying to figure out why anyone would want to order a cake like that.

Being a photographer, I LOVE the photo cake! Next time someone asks me to take a picture, I'm going to send them this, just to be a brat.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@miss_paper- I was thinking the same thing. Less guy from Duck Dynasty and more Seamus from Family Guy.

And what does the little thing on the last cake say? Lift my Shirt to see my Womb ___? Looks like is says Maka, but that doesn't make sense. Either way, lifting the shirt to see any womb related item isn't exactly appetizing, but we all know that means NOTHING!

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

"Duck Dynasty" says it has consumption (i.e. tuberculosis) but I think it's leprosy. That's consistent with the sign, anyway. Shouldn't he be ringing a bell?

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Random Friday Thoughts…

Cake 1: (sorry, Simon and Garfunkel)
Old shoes, old shoes sat on their cakes like bookends
Gray dust blowin’ through the display case
Falls on the round toes of the red shoes on the old cakes


Cake 2: This says it all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhmrnYbIVqs
(“Smiling Faces, Sometimes” by The Undisputed Truth)


Cake 3: I think the sign near the cake is both forewarning and explanatory: “Caution…Consumption”


Cake 4: I see a whoopee cushion and the monster form the horror movie, “Fun House.” And who wouldn’t want a whoopee cushion made out of cake….?


Cake 5: Yes! You too can be a perfessional cake decorator! Step 1: get a black marker and some cardboard circles. Step 2: Done!


Cake 6: One of the clearest photos I’ve seen on a cake…..


Cake 7: Their heart is in the right place…even if their A1c may not be….


Cake 8: a golden oldie, and as I recall, it’s a good thing there’s a blouse over this one….and other cakes of this ilk could take a lesson from that…..

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Try as I may, I cannot for the life of me figure out what that yellow thing in picture #4 is supposed to be. Good job!

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

Does anyone else think #3 could read "Dick Dynasty"?

that sickly plastic head with hair and the chicken cake are weirding me out.

and maybe the cardboard cake rounds are to help bakers SPELL THINGS CORRECTLY. from an enterprising manager perhaps?

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjo

"Want this Baby Shower"
"cake ask any employee"

0.o .... o.O

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersam

I think one decorator got bored just looking at the list of occasions.

Then he got cardboard, and inspiration struck.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Admittedly, I have never seen the appeal of Duck Dynasty, but the idea of eating a beard is revolting. Who would want to pay for one of those, and what possible occasion would it celebrate?

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Is the second one suppose to be an Avatar? He looks more like John Hartnell from the Franklin Expedition! After he had been dead for 150 years. (please Google him if you're not familiar and you'll see what I mean)

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoanne

According to the sign, Mr. Duck Dynasty is only suffering from consumption. I find that unbelievable. Surely he must also have a form of leprosy. I can tell because his nose fell off.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCuriousT

The second cake is CLEARLY Jake Sully from Avatar.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

1th ~ I really hope that shoe hasn't been worn. O.O **shudder**
2rd ~ I keep wanting to look up and see what that thing is looking at. Just me? Ok, nevermind.
3st ~ @CuriousT ~ "I can tell because his nose fell off." HAH!
4nd ~ Chicken??? Nuh uh. I'm not sure what it's supposed to be but I don't see a chicken. The "neck"??? O.O
5rd ~ Cardboard! Nice one @Nyperold!
6st ~ So very wrong on so many levels. Perhaps spelling is the least of their issues!
7nd ~ Polyester = the NEW frosting! **gag**

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

They made a mistake with cake #4: depicting a vampire in the daytime. Everyone knows his kind can't survive in the light.

On the other hand, if it's meant to be Gollum, why hasn't he devoured the chicken? Or gone off in search of his "precioussss"?

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Mr. Duck Dynasty looks peeved about something. Presumably it's the consumption.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@Nagzilla: It's a little "play on words" wreck; It's "Womb mate" instead of "roommate". Are you laughing yet?
Take your time.....(zzzzz)....Yeah~ me, neither.
The sign that says "MODELS for CAKES that we make on order" is HOPEFULLY a disclaimer. You know; like they were ORDERED to make them or face some horrible consequence. It's the only thing that makes sense!
Oh, and the "Display Only" cake? I ORDERED that cake for my friend PHOTO's birthday, and they were so proud of how it turned out that now they won't let me have it. =^e.e^=

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Hey, mel: I hit the link, and got down with the music, see?...*snaps fingers* and now I don't care much about the cake~*snap*~but I think it might look special *snapsnap* if it had vertical slits for pupils, like cats' eyes... yeaahh... *snapSNAP* =^-.-^=

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Nagzilla: the sign says "Lift my shirt to see my womb mate." It's a baby shower cake.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

These cakes are funnier AfTer I read the comments. You guys notice so.much more detail than I do! -- consumption... --snerk....

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

@sendingtheclowns: lol....oh no...I fear you've "snapped"... =^OO^=

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

that DD cake looks kind of deranged. it doesn't help that it seems like it's left eye slid down a little.

March 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

Wow. Why on earth would you put any of these cakes on display unless it's for Halloween lol. I am still scratching my head over all the cardboard things in that one display.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

The cardboard circles look the most appetizing.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Yeah, #3 does look like it says "Dick Dynasty." Must be a new show about a family that makes adult toys.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterxevo

They may as well post a sign:
"Warning: This is the quality of work we do. Order at your own risk."

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

The Duck Dynasty cake is a really ugly cake, but it's also a really skilled chainsaw carving.

#4--totally saw that the head is Gollum.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I'm pretty sure the sign on the last one says "Lift my shirt to see my womb mate." Oh dear.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentershirley elizabeth

I certainly hope that shoe hadn't actually been worn, and it looks like a rather large shoe (at least a 10) at that.

March 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentereth

I think the JDRF cake is actually a large rice cake propped up on a plate easel. So maybe it is diabetes appropriate...sort of.

March 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrasawee

You used my cakes! You like me, you really like me! I sent in those dusty cardboard cakes a few years ago. I am thrilled - THRILLED I tell you - that you used them. I haven't been back to that neighbourhood in a while, so I'll have to pop by and see if that "bakery" is still there. I'm not sure that they do anyhing but cardboard, but at least their cakes are high in fibre. This is the proudest. day. of. my. life.

March 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

Why.

March 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I'll eat my hat if that diabetes one is a rice cake! It's a cookie! (And my hat's tastier than either of those options! )

March 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdakota

The last one is displayed at a local cake shop, if you lift the dress there is half a clear plastic Easter egg with a picture of an ultrasound under it.the whole thing is creepy and weird.

April 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter2tired

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