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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr252014

Princess Show & Sell

The princesses are back for National Princess Week, eager to show you their new castle!

[Original penis castle cake removed at baker's request. Please enjoy this other penis castle cake.]

You know what they say: "One princess' doorbell is another man's ding-dong."

 

Hey! Snow White! HANDS OFF!

Thank you.

 

They also want to show off their finger painting:

 

And their... crown?

Let's go with crown.

 

And whatever this thing is:

(I'm guessing "royal spider smasher.")

 

Hey, ever seen a reeeeally long hairball?

Ew.
Thanks, Rapunzel.

 

Some of them even got new dresses!

I guess that's one way to be the ball of the Belle.

 

Of course, not all princesses are DISNEY princesses.

In fact, may I be frank?

Awesome.

 

So just remember, ladies: you're never too old...

...to be a priscess.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Wendy, Kimberly C., Stephanie H., Vanessa C., Carissa B., Marjorie R., Stephanie H., & Heather for that priceless priscess.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Sunday Sweets: A Disney Movie Marathon, Part 2 | Main | Beauty Is Only Skin Deep »

Reader Comments (96)

I'm going with mirror for the 5th one. But why is there a jack-o-lantern on the Snow White cake?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermrslittle

Royal spider smasher... Or, I was thinking Magic Wand. Not that kind, the kind fairies and sorceresses use. Sheesh.

Actually, if you turn it vertically, and realize the fallen flotsam is Aurora, it might clue us in to the fact that they were trying to create a Magic Mirror CCC (ptooey).

Or a royal spider smasher.....

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

#7 is the ultimate graphic representation of; "Does this dress make me look fat?"
But, honestly, how could any baker, no matter how dim, let that first cake out in public?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

So This is Love
(Cinderella's honeymoon song)

So this is love, whoa o o o
So this is love
I didn’t expect such large scale
I’m kind of scared, whoa o o o
I wasn’t warned
That he had a “thing” like a whale
My man’s quite grand, whoa o o o
If I could fly
I’d get the hell out of this match
So this is the miracle that I could not foresee
Who o o o
Ow ow ow ow ow ouch
So this is love

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The worst part about the Snow White one is that they actually did a half decent job with the face and then totally screwed the pooch on the hands!

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

The two random yellow-flower cupcakes really sell the royal spider masher, no?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Why is Mr. Kotter on Kaydence's cake?
Where are the sweathogs?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCC

The cupcake one looks like its supposed to be the mirror from Barbie and the Diamond Castle...HOWEVER, i think they missed the mark :(

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoey

That Snow White cake had to have been made by someone who is just...dumb.

Bring forth the Royal Spider Masher!

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I should know by now to *not* take a sip of coffee right before checking the daily wrecks…Thanks, Jen!

The first cake is hilarious, not just because of how it looks, not just because of the clever inscription, but also because the poor wreckorator seemed to have no clue what they created – and I am guessing here – for CHILDREN…Unless, of course, it is really for a princess themed bachelorette party (?)

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeemyladybug

That castle. what. why? how could you create it, step back and think "this looks great" and NOT SEE ..... you know! wow.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFearlessStamper

What exactly is happening with Snow White's arm? Did the witch render it boneless?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

As soon as the page loaded and I could see the, uh, tip of the first cake, I knew it was going to be good. Kept scrolling down and screamed "OH, MY GOD!" as the whole cake was revealed in all its glory. Good thing my husband had already left for work otherwise he might've gotten a complex 'cause I'm pretty sure I've never screamed "OH, MY GOD!" when he's shown me his castle.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKW

And on a side note…all these Princesses are amateur photographers…hoping that someday their prints will come…. (And no, I’m not commenting on Cake 1, every Princess’s dream home, the Phallicastle….)

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Royal Spider Smasher? I was thinking womb and vagina, until I saw the spiders and now I'm just confused.

And that first cake? I have no words. Well, I do, but I don't think I can type them in polite company.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBW

Cake #3's price tag is a scream! You SAVE $11.59 and only have to PAY $17.38. That means that the "fingerpainting" had an original price of $28.97. Yeah, real bargain there. Buy a 99 cent cake mix, can of premade frosting (yuck), and let your 3 year old loose with their grimy fingers. The real path to being a millionaire!

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Once I saw the tips of the turrets of #1, all I could think was "Some day my prince will come..."

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Still cannot believe people get paid for those O_o

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That first cake gives a whole new meaning to "Someday my prince will come."

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

The royal spider smasher looks to me like a very festive uterus turned to the side. And what on earth is the name on the Snow White cake? Does it say Mattighan? Is that an alternative spelling for Madigan? And even if it is, why the hell would you ever name your kid Madigan, much less spell it in a way that invites difficulty for life?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnthrogirl

Andre the Giant is a missing Princess, who knew?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

Well, I did ask for it...the hairball mention. Jen, thanks for keeping the reader's thoughts in mind when creating your daily posts.

Happy Friday all, have a great weekend.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

I thnk Snow White is being strangled from behind.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJojo

I think the royal spider smasher is actually a key. I don't remember which one but there is a doll that comes with a key for her castle.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJanice

Clearly, the hands on the Snow White cake are not a wreck at all. The Wicked Stepmother is strangling her from behind.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

I died at ding dong! Lol(is that what she said? I hope not)

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

OMG!!! Frank the Princess is going to be the new belle of the ball.... or maybe not! but anyway he made me snort!!! thanks Cake Wrecks! made my afternoon!

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

What's even more funny about that castle is that the entire picture does not come up on my screen at first -- only the top 1/3. You then have to scroll down, while wondering, "What on EARTH?! Is this some sort of bachelorette party cake? No wait...princesses. Huh?

I would never have figured out that that was supposed to be a Rapunzel cake if you hadn't told me. I honestly thought it was some sort of crinkly yellow path a la The Wizard of Oz.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

What's even more funny about that castle is that the entire picture does not come up on my screen at first -- only the top 1/3. You then have to scroll down, while wondering, "What on EARTH?! Is this some sort of bachelorette party cake? No wait...princesses. Huh?

I would never have figured out that that was supposed to be a Rapunzel cake if you hadn't told me. I honestly thought it was some sort of crinkly yellow path a la The Wizard of Oz.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

First of all, I LOVE the first cake. I want to position it in the entrance of my house as art. You know, real conversation starter, especially when missionaries knock on the door....

As for the spider smasher, I think you're wrong. Those are obviously ticks. I think this belongs to the Princess of Lyme Disease. She's one of the lesser known princesses.... Some may even say she's on the evil side but hey! All princesses can't be nice, can they?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

Castle cake is obviously inspired by the original Little Mermaid cover.

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/7265/littlemermaid.jpg

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPheintz

I think @CC is right. But what did poor Kaydence do to deserve Mr Kotter in drag ia the "princess" on her cake?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteressjaytee

So while I was waiting for the site to load, I took a drink. Which I barely managed to swallow when I saw the top of the site.

So, drink safely swallowed, I scrolled down and saw the rest of the photo. And almost fell out of my chair laughing.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm guessing that's supposed to be a hand mirror.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRose

So I am the only one who sees the handle of the mirror looking really like a cat's rear?

:(

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrob333

I'm the mother of two little boys, and when our third was a baby girl, I had a great deal of hesitation regarding how she might one day identify herself with the world of Disney princesses. Boy am I glad that there are alternatives to these frilly, frolicky, fantasy figures! Princess Frank has shown me that they can encompass a much different identity! Qualities such as angry-faced, armpit-hair ridden (purple even!), and frolicking in amphibian poo have given me a new perspective on the what a princess can truly be!!

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlindzijo

I thot spider smasher was a maybe a guitar

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWannek

Does this gown make my butt look big?

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJana

"Royal Spider Smasher" I need to get my oldest girl child one of those. She's afraid of spiders and I'm afraid of mice. Pretty sure that thing would work for both!

@SuBee ~ Well done! The wrecks? Not so much o.O

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

too bad it's Friday...waiting for a comment from Jen on a cake made infamous this afternoon...

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSage

Oh my goodness. They are so very ... pink. No, I'm not talking about the princesses.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElincello

Clearly it's not Mr. Kotter but Frank N Furter.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

heheheheee.....Can I be frank? please oh please???

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjoylovefun

I always thought Snow White's outfit was a seamstress's nightmare - it's obviously as difficult to put on as it is to construct. The poor girl has got horribly tangled in her sleeve and collar. I saw my cat in a position a lot like this the first time he tried to get out of his collar. He didn't try to look serene and winsome, though.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

Does the first one come with batteries??

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterToni

Are these really just cakes, or are some of them moonlighting as hands-on teaching tools for the infectious diseases segment of a gynecology/ urology rotation?
Note especially cake #1, with its perky pastel lumps attached to the "towers",
cake #5, with its ovoid lake of prurient yellow...something oozing from its center, and last but certainly not least, the lovely ladies of photo # 7, competing for the coveted title "Miss Elephantiasis, 2014".

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKittymuse

I guess we all know what the first baker was thinking about when they created that penis cake. I think Sophia's trying to get off the penis castle. I'm thinking that's a mirror because every little girl wants a mirror that has spiders on it. Maybe the baker was watching Supernatural when that princess cake was created. It does look like the tooth fairy in the episode I Believe The Children Are Our Future.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Rapunzels hair looks like the shape of an Ebola virus....

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMargo

Can't unsee the Rapunzel hairball thing. CAN'T UNSEE.

Maybe it's because my cat woke me up at 5:00 this morning coughing up the same hairball. *shudder*

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMia

My husband totally bought me that Rapunzel cake for my birthday. It was only slightly better executed than the one shown here. I totally loved it anyway.

April 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjeswel

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