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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun032014

Spelling Bee Hard

Welcome, everyone, to the 2014 Bakers' Spelling Bee!

Contestants, your first word is "Congratulations."

Let's begin.

I'm sorry, but that's incorrect.

 

So is that.

 

I'm afraid I can't read that, but it's definitely still wrong.

 

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!

No.

 

Did you seriously just start with an E?

 

Corgat? CORGAT??

 

Look, bakers, this isn't that hard; just sound it out! C'mon, we'll do it together: "CON-graaa..."

[bonking head on podium]

 

Ok, bakers, to save on time let's skip right to our lightning round. First one to correctly spell "Congratulations Graduates" wins!

 

 

I give up.

*beepbeepbeep*

 

And look, we're out of time anyway! Well, thanks to those of you at home for tuning in, and to all our equally inept contestants, who've managed to set a new 2014 Speiiing Bee record!

[whispering off camera] Hang on, "Speiiing Bee"? Who wrote these cue cards?

Oh.

Never mind.

 

Thanks to Sarah B., Katy B., Darcy, Michelle P., Rachel W., Shawn M., Ken & Jen, Jeffrey M., Yvette A., Susan H., & Stacy P. for spelling that out for us.

*****

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Reader Comments (62)

Congralations for wrecking my cake
Canradulatans , I’m doing a double take
Congragulations, you never could succeed
Congratulatios for leaving me in need

This morning I picked up my cake and I found found
I wanted to kill but there was no one around
At night, I lay alone in my bed
With an image of my spell check going ‘round in my head

Corgatulations, you really can't spell
Congrulations, school really is hell
Congralations, It wasn’t a deal
Cogngrtaualtons hou gud you must feal

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sung to “Abracadabra”

I give up. I can’t look now.
Cake spelling bees just
Makes my head pound
Round and round and round we go
How it’s spelled – nobody knows

Every time you call my name
I never can spell it the same
Burning shame, my cheeks on fire
Ring the bell, before I expire.

Congra-congra-tulations
Spell it right. Get an ovation.
Congra-congra-tulations
Congratulations

*****************

You know, Bakers, if you can't spell a word, just substitute one that means the same. You should always keep a thesore-- um, thesesaur--, thisoru--, thesore--, Other Word Book Thingy on hand.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Wel dun wood hav surffiste ore prehaps brarvoe..

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

As a reading and writing tutor, I really want to give those bakers some multi-syllable reading and spelling practice. Hmmmm, affixes should get some attention, too. I know: let's play Syllabification! Woo-Hoo!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I can't decide which one is my favorite, and they are so many to choose from! My top two are "cogngrtaualtons" (sure hope I spelled that right) and "garaution."

I think someone needs to coordinate interventions for these people. No sober person would spell like that.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Just waiting for one to say "Conflagrations".

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShavenYak

#2: Poor Sophi. They couldn't even fit her misspelled greeting onto the cake properly.
#3: Wreckerator doesn't even get an E for Effort on this one. Can anyone spell "lazy"?
#6: Well, maybe Reagan's dog placed first in the local corgi show, so this cake is a pun. Maybe?
#7: Can't even spell "wall-of-famers". Sigh. . . .

Save some bonking room for me!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

ROTFL!!!! Thank you, all you ladies. A wonderful start to my Tuesday.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

@SuBee and Sharyn: Congradon...er…Congragulations…er…Cogngrtaualtons…ah…good job!
(All that’s running through my head right now is that song, “Spellers”… with apologies again to Lorde)

I’ve never seen a diploma in the flesh
Never cut my teeth on a thesaurus in the back room
And I’m not ashamed of my spelling mess
On cakes up town, no spelling envy

But every one’s like
Long vowels
Short vowels
Don’t forget the ‘postrophe
Consonants
I before e
Don’t mean a thing to me

We don’t care, not reading dictionaries in our dreams


But every word’s like
Comma
Period
Upper case and lower case
Get it right ‘cause
Frosting don’t erase

We don’t care, we’re not caught up in your word affair

And we’ll never be a spellers (spellers)
It don’t run in our blood,
That kind of stuff just ain’t for us
Can’t remember I before e
Can’t remember the rules (rules)
Never win a spelling bee
But in my head I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m cool.
Let me live that fantasy.


We’ve never cracked the spelling code
We think our way is kind of cool and arty
And everyone who knows us knows
We’re fine with this, don’t own a dictionary

But every one’s like
Long vowels
Short vowels
Don’t forget the ‘postrophe
Consonants
I before e
Don’t mean a thing to me

We don’t care, not reading dictionaries in our dreams


But every word’s like
Comma
Period
Upper case and lower case
Get it right ‘cause
Frosting don’t erase

We don’t care, we’re not caught up in your word affair

And we’ll never be a spellers (spellers)
It don’t run in our blood,
That kind of stuff just ain’t for us
Can’t remember I before e
Can’t remember the rules (rules)
Never win a spelling bee
In my head I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m cool.
Let me live that fantasy.

ooh ooh oh ooh
We’re better than we’ve ever dreamed
Even though we’re not a spelling queen

ooh ooh oh ooh
Life is great without a care
We aren’t caught up in your spelling affair

And we’ll never be a spellers (spellers)
It don’t run in our blood,
That kind of stuff just ain’t for us
Can’t remember I before e
Can’t remember the rules (rules)
Never win a spelling bee
In my head I’m cool, I’m cool, I’m cool.
Let me live that fantasy.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Congratulations + strangulation = congragulation. Don't know why Andrew would want to celebrate that, though.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteressjaytee

Tripllle lllabiall
makes cake sound sexy or drunk.
Congratulllation.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I can't believe these cakes are professional! They are all disgraces, but the third one is definitely an insult. The baker deserves to receive it on hir or her head.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Looks like the bee stung them.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Oh lord caroline that was hard to read :P suebee and sharyn :D hehehehe. All I can say is I felt like boinking my head on the desk reading those also

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"Wall-a-Famers" made me laugh! Well done, wreckers; well done.

@mel - Love it! :-)

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

is it possible they spelled Wicssaset correctly? No. Probbly knot.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wall-a-Famers? Just...

I give up.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Re; Cake #5 - not only does it start with an 'E', it ends with 'tios'.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

There was a point at which I suddenly became incapable of remembering how to correctly spell... ummmm.... that word. I'm still not sure. LOL

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Congrads to all the Gratuates!

srsly
rly rly am8zng that gradulates are even congralutationing any more with all those common core speiing b's.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergrads to grats

Oh my goodness the last one finished me off!!! Really a misspell on a SPELLING BEE CAKE!!! Oh Cake Wrecks!!! You are killing me with laughter!!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I am going to hazard a guess that the third-to-last one is supposed to say "WISCASSET". It's a town in Maine, and apparently even bakers in that part of the state cannot figure out how to spell it. Oy.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAdrienne

Oh my goodness the last one finished me off!!! Really a misspell on a SPELLING BEE CAKE!!! Oh Cake Wrecks!!! You are killing me with laughter!!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I'm sure at least one of these was ordered by Coach Z.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Also: Wiscasset

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Pretty sure #9 should be Wiscasset, unless there's a Wicssaset out there somewhere. Hard to spell your own town right, I know.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkrisr

mel FTW!!!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

#9 wins.

mel, I'm not a fan of lourde, but I am now officially a fan of you (I was before, but I hereby commit)

this is a wonderful assortment of what happens when "Yeah, I can do that" means "It's take my 6 year old to work day" (or possibly "My boss is really ticking me off and I don't care anyway")

thank you all.

PS, no, I don't believe they are all professional cakes. That cannot be so. Can. Not.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

Oh, the best one is the third from the bottom - the baker managed to spell all three words wrong! Kind of impressive, in a wrecky way.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFiddlebabe

I am pretty sure that "congratulatios" is Spanish for "congratulations". Everyone knows that you just add a few letters onto an English word to make it Spanish!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Thanks Sharyn! Going to see SMB next week. This helps put me in the mood for them!

I wonder if #9 is for Wiscasset, Maine.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersue

I believe Wiscasset, Maine, bills itself as the "Prettiest Little Village in Maine." Now it also has the distinction of being the "Home of the Mangled Spelling Trifecta" with all three words on the cake mutilated beyond all recognition.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusanM

Alternate title for post: "When Southerners try to spell things phonetically."
Honestly, phonetic spelling attempts are the only explanation for some of these & the only way they could be pronounced the way they're spelled is with a [heavy] Southern accent.

#3..."Cougrolon Guon" ? wut dafrak?

#5 is just misunderstood. You see, the E is really a C with an errant strand of frosting in the middle; and the spelling of "Congratulatios" is meant to be a pun celebrating the capture of Latios in Pokemon!

#7 Head bonk indeed! "wall-a-famers"...seriously?

#9 I googled "wicssaset" and came up with a town in Maine called Wiscasset, which explains what the middle word is supposed to be. It seems that the baker has all the letters there, just in the wrong order.
Maybe this is just an unappreciated attempt at anagramming?

I give #10 points for the "ketchup & mustard" looking letters.

If the people who think that teaching cursive in school is a waste of funds ever read Cake Wrecks, they would reverse their opinion immediately.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I know long words are hard but...I REALLY think some bakers have dyslexia.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentertkaz

Next time I'm in WICSSASET, I will personally stop by the homes of all of those GARDAUTES to express my sincere COGNGRTAUALTONS...and then I want to meet their English teachers...

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJo

It's not always the bakers! After my FIRST Graduation season in a bakery... About 1/3 of the order forms were spelled "Congradulations" ! Ugh! When filling out a form write CLEARLY & spell it correctly!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterYdal

Ok, now try to pronounce "COGNGRTAUALTONS" out loud. Go ahead. Try it.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLiseelou

@Ydal: But that's a common pun on a graduation cake: 'Congradulations!' It's a portmanteau of congratulations and graduation. Now if they wrote 'Congradulations Graduates' or 'Congradulations on your graduation' then you have a complaint, true.

No song lyrics today, mel got the #1 spot already. :)

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

The last one is spelled correctly. The baker simply made the two "l"s and the "i" look exactly alike.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterelsalgal

Wait, isn't "Gardautes" a Latin (or at least Pig Latin) term of commendation, along the lines of "good job"? Poor Wiscasset...

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

"Good Job!" even with a few random quotation marks would be better than this. **sigh** I fear for humanity...

@mel ~ Once again, you have come up with something for that song that totally works! Cogngrtaultons sir!

@SuBee, @Sharyn and @Haiku Joy, again, I have run out of superlatives. Lucky for me Jen has totally provided some new ones today! EONGRAtulatios ladies!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Apparently, none of these decorators were, themselves, graduates.

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAllegra

At least the upside down bee (on the last cake) is cute!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGrandmaJudyBeth

@Ydal: You seriously trying to put forth the idea that it's not the baker's fault because the customer spelled it incorrectly? You have NO spelling skills of your own and must rely on any combination of letters presented to you? There is no such thing as spell-check or (heaven forbid) a dictionary within reach?

Sorry, not buying it. As my daughter's 4th-grade teacher puts it: "NEA. No. Excuses. Accepted."

(And, BTW, my daughter recently had "Congratulations" on a spelling test, and she got it right. That's right--an 11-year-old can spell this word if she thinks about it.)

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Test

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Wow great site!!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-Marie

I love how the one that looks like it starts with an E is also missing the final N. It's like a cereal! Congratulati-O's!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShivers

I nominate Mel for the CakeWrecks Wall-A-Fame!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJackwire

*laughing* *laughing* *laughing*

I started snickering at the first one, lost it at the third, and just kept going from there. =-)

@Mel - loved that one! @Sharyn and @SueBee, yours too!

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@lisadh: Thank you! I had fun….
@SuBee: you’re too kind…we’re all winners here…..
@rolypolyducky: Thank you so much! I’ll try to make your commitment as enjoyable as possible…wait…that doesn’t sound right… :-)
@Starknight: Thank you…but there’s always room for more here…
@Jodee: Thanks, Jodee for the “Cogngrtaultons”…the song does lend itself to parody rather well, but I think I’ll stop at two…lol….
@Jackwire: hahaha…thank you, I think…..
@Seabird: Thank you; I appreciate it! It was fun to do….

June 3, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

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