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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul082014

The Future's So Bright...

"Ok, gang, this is dead simple: just pipe a smiley mouth line, and stick a pair of sunglasses on top. That's IT. One curvy line, and a pair of sunglasses. You literally cannot screw this up."

 

 

"Let me revise that."

 

"Uh, Alice, maybe don't jam them down so far, k?"

 

 

 

"Cindy, these are terrifying."

"I like it."

 

"Look, Bobby, I understand that filling piping bags is hard, but I don't think your 'fish face' idea will fly with corporate."

("And are those the crackers from my lunch? Dude. NOT COOL.")

 

"Huh. Maybe this IS too hard for you guys."

[shouting] "Ok, everyone, we're going back to decorating cupcakes!"

"Maybe next year - if you're ready - we'll try sprinkles."

 

Thanks a bunch to Hayven A., Sarah A., Erin R., Teresa B., Connie P., Stephanie M., & Susan Y. for the shady deals.

******

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (28)

Cake #5 reminds me of Grandma Ethyl from the old tv show "Dinosaurs"

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Cake #7 is for a drowning victim.

I woke up stressing over the fact that I have to make 100 cupcakes for a party. Seriously, I couldn't sleep. The thought of decorating that many tiny cakes all at one time filled me with despair. I felt hopeless.
BUT thanks to Cake Wrecks I know just what I'm going to do. I'm running out to buy a giant bag of Starbursts as soon as I finish here. Thank you Cake Wrecks, you changed my life!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Inspired by and for @SuBee

To “The Candy Man” with apologies to Willie Wonka

If you have 100 cupcakes
And you don’t know what to do
Cover them with frosting and stick a Starburst on ‘em, too
They’re handy, man
These candy can, man
The Starbursts can ‘cause they make it real simple and make the cakes taste good
They’re the colors of the rainbow
Way up in the sky
Don’t bother to unwrap ‘em, it takes too long, don’t try
They’re handy, man
These candy can, man
The Starbursts can ‘cause they make it real simple and make the cakes taste good
SuBee makes everything she bakes
Satisfying and delicious
(and she doesn’t use Goldfishes)
With Starbursts there are less dishes
So you think you’ve got a problem
Impossible you deem
Just stick some wrapped up Starbursts in that yellow buttercream
They’re handy, man
These candy can, man
The Starbursts can ‘cause they make it real simple and make the cakes taste good
(Just don’t eat the wrappers, that would not be so good…..)

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Why is this a thing? And why could none of these wreckerators figure this out? I have got to be the world's worst cake decorator (I was elated when I discovered the trifle where randomly assembled layers equals beautiful and delicious) and I know I could get this one right.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

How can anyone with any amount of gray matter mess up that design O_o

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Thank you, mel. I'll sing your beautiful song to myself as I slop on the frosting and toss on the starbursts.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

This staggering display of total incompetence suggests one thing: the decorators are members of the House of Representatives who lost their seats in the last election.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

Bravo, @mel! Bravo!

@jen - That's how I imagine it went. Nice job. :-)

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Hee! The fish-faced one looks like one of the ghosts from Pac-Man somehow smashed into a school of fish.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Goldfish crackers on a cake? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The Starbursts were even better!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Why are the Bradys decorating cakes? Their architect dad can't even figure out that six kids does not equal two bedrooms.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

I less than 3 you @mel a really lot! You just made my whole week!

@SuBee ~ You can do it! I suggest you buy 2 bags because I'm not sure there's 100 in one bag. At least that's what I tell myself when I eat the whole thing. O.O

#5 looks like Roz from Monsters Inc. But Grandma Ethel works, too!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The level of idiocy is almost incomprehensible. But also hilarious, so thanks for the laugh!

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteramanda*p

I can't believe I'm the first person to notice and point out that the goldfish are even upside down...belly up. the ones with the faces are dead and floating. lolol

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

I was just about to mention that JoJo. It is a wreck on many levels.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTess

The yellow ones are all the same and likely came from a factory that way, no need to blame in store decorators for those. The same cakes were likely sent to multiple chains. But yeah the rest are hideous, LOL

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMAC

The first one looks like the glasses had been on correctly, then flipped over. The rest are just a hot mess.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Cake #5 looks like Umbridge...

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJillian

Is it just me, or does anyone else see a scary face peering out between the two lower right cupcakes in the last photo?

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

Just did emoji cupcakes for my daughters birthday. So, so glad I did better than these guys! She may have disowned me lol

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

That, right there, is a frightening amount of stupity.

SuBee, how did the cupcakes go?

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

@lisadh: thank you; just here for the fun!
@Jodee: Oh, Jodee -- you make me blush...but I'm glad it made your week -- and it's only Tuesday! My work here is done!. :-)

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

One of the goldfish went belly up on that cake lol. Oh man even a cracker doesn't want to be on that thing. Scary.

July 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

@mel: No, your work here is NOT done! I have a friend who is dying of cancer. She went to a hospice center a week ago, and they gave her two weeks to live.

Please keep the laughs coming. I really need them right now. Thanks!

July 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I think the bigger issue here is not the wretched incompetence or horrible "decoration", but the absolute lack of "give-a-s**t demonstrated by these people.

July 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDee

@Dee, yes it's true, the give a s%*T factor is definitely lacking, but if not for that, what would we laugh at? I don't laugh at the people who make the wrecks...going down that road is too dangerous because I'm a true analytical and I want people to make SENSE darn it! So, I laugh at the creations they bravely allow out into the world. They may not be artistic masterpieces, however, everything has a place in our world, and Cake Wreckorators will always be fondly thought of by myself, if only for the valuable laughter they induce. Laughter is the best medicine and here at CW, you can get a daily dose, or you can always go to the archives and get hysterical...best part is, you will NEVER OD on it!

July 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach Alemap

Is it just me, or does the cake in the fifth picture look like a villainous Muppet??

July 9, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

In the defense of store-level decorators that have these cakes in their bakeries (like me) cakes 1-5 are indeed shipped into us like that. We are just as dumbfounded as the rest of you.

July 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnnonymous

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