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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Aug132014

Big Day, Big Wrecks

By popular demand, here are a few more Inspiration vs Perspiration Wedding Wrecks. And shame on you all for finding them so funny.

What was ordered:

 

What was received:

Fortunately Christine C. reports the the bride and family had a great sense of humor about this Wreck, and even dubbed it the "bamPOO" cake. Heheh.

 

Ordered:

 

And received:

Uh, since the cake itself leaves me speechless, I'm going to comment on the background. Hey Jessica M., is that Chewbacca through the window? I mean, given the Han Solo & Leia topper, I was wondering if Chewie was the ring-bearer or something.

 

And lastly, ordered:

 

Aaaand received:

You have to wonder if that swipe was a result of the bride fainting at the sight of it, don't you? Still, I guess she should count her blessings: imagine if the wreckerator had been asked to write something on it!

 

*****

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« Anything You Can Wreck, I Can Wreck Better | Main | Sorry, Spellerds »

Reader Comments (52)

Cannot believe what some people think are professional cakes :O

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Such thick borders piped!
Rainbow colors, Comic Sans!
All the feels, want hug!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Some days, Sesame Street says it best:

One of each pair is not like the other
One of each pair just doesn't belong
Can you guess which cakes got thrown at their bakers?
By the time I finish this song?

Today's post is brought to you by the letters OMG.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I think Chewie was probably the Beast Man.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterIan

Cake baker, cake baker made me a cake
Said she was good, make no mistake
But the result should be thrown in a lake
She made me a wrecky cake

Cake baker, cake baker I paid the price
You made the cake, but it’s not nice
Give me a refund or soon you will see
How vicious a bride can be

My family
May like bampoo cake.

Chewbacca's,
Going to carry the ring.

But it just
won’t make things better
You just cant re-move the wrecky sting.

Cake baker, cake baker made me a cake
Don’t know how much more I can take
It’s like a bad dream but I’m still awake
She made me a wrecky cake

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Once again, the original comments are so much fun to read!

http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2009/1/16/big-day-big-wrecks.html

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Given the slight lilt to the side of the Han/Leia cake, I wonder if he is just trying to keep her from falling off....

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Brown foamy icing
Will never look like bamboo
Even with flowers

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Every time you post these, I truly wonder if the bride saw photos of the "professional" decorator's previous work. Even if the decorator says "Oh, sure, I can do that, no problem", demand to see photos of actual cakes by that decorator.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Look at the bright side for the first cake. At least the baker didn't run out to the store and get real bamboo to smoosh on to the cake.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDotti B.

No, no.....I don't think that's Chewy (outside, lurking in the garden). I think it's "Alex" (a.k.a.Glenn Close), and she is not very happy that this is not HER wedding....not very happy at all. (BTW-Anyone happen to see what happened to the cake knife?) =^0.0^=

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On that last cake...

Somewhere in a church…

Wedding Officiant: Dearly Beloved, we are gathered her on this special occasion today on to celebrate the union of J and M, who have invited you be a witness to their joy and to help them solemnize this most sacred of unions. They have also asked that instead of the usual homily that I reflect on their wedding cake, which they have carefully selected to reflect their love for each other. While I have not seen the cake yet, I have seen a picture of what they requested, and it is stunning. Let us bring the cake out here now that we may reflect together on this symbol of love.

(As two tuxedoed men bring out the cake and place it on a table between the bride and groom the audience gasps, and then a few chuckles are swallowed up by coughing…lots of coughing.) The bride looks faint and the groom just stand there with a What The Frosting look on his face.

The Officiant looks puzzled, and he turns to the bride, who is busy blotting her eyes with a handkerchief – something borrowed—and looks a little blue. He faces the audience.

Officiant: Ah, ah….. Dear friends. Let us look closely at this marvelous symbol of J and M’s love placed before us, and reflect for a moment on its deeper meaning. While the casual observer might see cake, we see J and M’s new life before us. Ah…ah…notice the white flowers. They, of course, represent the purity of the bride, J. She comes into this marriage an innocent young woman, eager to experience the joys of…marriage. The red represents not the loss of that innocence through conjugal conjoining, as perhaps some of you were thinking – then the cake would have to be a sheet cake— but…ah…the fiery passion that J and M bring to this one relationship, not just in that one room of the house – but in everything they do. A fiery passion for a new life together…yes, that’s it.

And the green. Hmmm. Well, even though J and M are adults, when it comes to this marriage they are new, they are still green, as we say. In time and as they grow together, they will mature and turn brown. No, not brown. They won’t turn brown. Ah, they’ll become stronger as a couple, experienced in marriage. And grow. Yes, green represents growth, like grass. Not the kind of grass popular in Colorado, regular lawn grass. Growth. As they grow in their marriage and devotion to one another. And you’ll notice that the green bands are uneven, lumpy and bumpy, just as growth is uneven. We all know that in marriage there are many spurts. Ah…spurts of growth, I mean. Sometimes it is gradual, sometimes it comes in spurts. It’s uneven.
Now, I know some of you are thinking it looks like Christmas colors. Well, that’s OK, because a wedding is like Christmas, where each is a present to the other, to be unwrapped and opened and enjoyed again and again. It’s like they each say, “I give myself to you, to be with you always. I am a present to you always, to be present with you always.” (aside) Oh, my, that was clever, if I do say so myself. Hmmm.

But what are those little red things, you are probably asking yourself. They are the little unknowns that pop into our lives, little unexpected events that may momentarily challenge us, throw us off our course a bit. But you’ll notice that they are on the red and greens of their life – easily overcome by J and M’s passion for life and absorbed into their growth to make them stronger.

Also, some of you may have noticed that there is a chunk missing from the cake. (A few chuckles in the audience.) That is no mistake, and the little ring bearer did not have an early taste. (More chuckles.) Like any marriage, this one will never be complete. There is always a space for growth, for new depths of commitment, passion, and harmony. Always room for deeper love, a closer mingling of the spirits, a more profound appreciation for the wonder and joy that is your life together.

Take a peek inside the cake. Lots of cake there – lots of day-today stuff, lots of everyday living. But see, also, that ribbon of frosting – after the newness of the union transforms into the day-to-day routine of life, no matter how mundane life can seemingly be at times, there are always sweet spots.

Finally, you’ll note there is no topper on this cake. That’s because, well, frankly, you can’t top this cake.

Now, do you, J, take M…….

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Can nobody just leave a comment on this site anymore? It's all poems and songs etc. Just post a comment for the love of Pete.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJD

The shapes don't even match on the third cake, let alone the rest of the decorating. And the second cake looks like something the Staypuft Marshmallow Man poohed out. Someone picked it up, propped it on a cake plate and attempted to decorate it.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

"I don't love this."
"I know."

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@mel...I do believe you have found your true calling! That was beautiful & turns a horrific cake into a lovely commentary on marriage & life! Are you available for baptisms & eulogies as well? Your cake commentary brings to mind a messy finger painting that a child claims is a horse that no parent can see but which is proudly displayed on the fridge anyway. Lol

@JD ... No. Thank goodness! 😉

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

@ JD; clearly you are unaccustomed to the CW crew and the loyal fan base we have turned into over the years.

Yes, it's all poetry and songs etc... I daresay we have no trolls here, or at least if there are, they are few and far between. We are all creative people with a passion for nerdy AND funny stuff. We all enjoy the poems, songs and parodies that the others take the time to create. We do this because some of us are introverts and respond to people MUCH better in a "non-personal" environment, but still want the chance to interact with others. Some of us enjoy The CW Team and their quite witty and unique sense of humor. I daresay I have told people of this site and none of my friends "got" it like I did, so they don't hang out here. ALL of us enjoy the close camaraderie that has developed between most of the commenters here over the past few years. We are like a small family that when we get together some of us talk, some don't-but we ALL ENJOY being here among people who are like-minded enough to come here almost every day.

So yes, it's all songs and poems, however JD, isn't life WORTH songs and poems?
Isn't having good friends that support you, even though you are far from each other WORTHY of songs and poems.
Finally isn't it PURE BEAUTY that you can come to a place from wherever you happen to be, the same place every day...and when you get to that place YOU LAUGH? Is that NOT what beauty is but the ENJOYMENT of life and love and for us here....wrecky cakes.

All the regular fans of CW will back me up when I say we will keep the songs and the poems and the skits coming, it keeps our minds fresh and our hearts open...and what better way to live your life?

Regards, Sage


[Editor's note- Awesome. -john (thoJ)]

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

Well.........IMHO, two of the three cakes ordered were ugly to begin with, so I don't think there was much to work with from the get-go, but the wreckerators just went above and beyond! Yikes!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJune

@TLC; I saw your comment from yesterday, but wasn't sure if you'd see this there, so I figured I'd do it today. I'm so sorry you have to go through something so tough. Your friend is very lucky to have you. Hugs to you, and good thoughts.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Um, is that a garter on the top tier of the second wreck?!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

To: "Unregistered CommenterJD":
Pete himself has informed me that he actually enjoys the extraneous songs, poems, flotsam and jetsam that is known affectionately as "Comments".
But, okay- if you insist, here is what you asked for:

just "a comment for the love of Pete":
Pete, I love you.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

What goes through the mind of the bakers of these cakes? Do they actually look at their finished product and think "..yes! This is the cake that will put me on the map!" or "...yes! This will make their (bride and groom) reception complete!" or even "...hmmm, I'm sure they won't notice the difference!"?
OMG,indeed!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMomlady

@mel ~ I think I want you to be the officiant at my wedding. Now to find a groom...

@JD ~ You do know you're not required to read the comments, right?

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I make cakes for parties based on pictures all the time. The cakes requested by these brides do not look overly complicated at all! I almost have to wonder if the cake decorator's eyesight is bad, lol! Or maybe they had their small children assist them with the decorating? Is it that hard to say I'm sorry that's beyond my skills and not accept the job?

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Brava, @VaBeach alemaP! We love you, too. :)

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I can see why you think wrecks belongs to me
And Joy and mel and Sharyn, or all the other posters but yourself
But you’re here to leave a comment of your own
That’s you’re right, you’re welcome here. You’re not alone

JD what you wanna do?
I think we could sing for you
For a while, you can join in with us too

Don’t you think there’s space here for the rest of us
Who have a song, or haiku or a limerick in their head
And then there’s mel:
What he’s got inside his head no one can tell
But it never ceases to amaze, it’s true
(you see it too, true?)

JD what you wanna do?
I think we could sing for you
For a while, you can join in with us too

I keep thinking of more songs for you
I keep thinking of some poems, too
Don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’ll keep
Writing more dumb songs
For you…

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Sorry, I forgot: "JD" is sung to "Amy" by Pure Prairie League.
If you don't know it, ask JD. He'll hum a few bars...

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@VaBeach ~ Thank you!
@sending ~ *giggle* Well said!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

None of these three would exactly be "Sunday Sweets" material to begin with, though the results really did fall short.
A bit of a shame, given the time that seems to have been spent on the scrolly poo scrawls of the Star Wars cake.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

I just noticed word usage issues in my post. Do you see how upset I get when people pick on me and my imaginary friends???

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Pete, man,I love you. (Sniff)

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

@JD: I must confess, when I first read your comment this morning, I shared @Jodee’s thought, and wondered why you read the comments. Time did not permit me to respond, and when I came back now and saw the other comments, I knew that anything I could write would pale in comparison to the elegant, exquisite, thoughtful, graceful and wonderfully compassionate post by @VaBeach alemaP. She speaks the truth.

I realize that not everyone finds our comments funny. You are not the first to mention this, and you won’t be the last. And, as one of the biggest “offenders” on this site, while I am sorry you don’t share our particular kind of humor, I understand…no, I don’t really understand…but I accept it, and have a suggestion for you. Come to the site and enjoy the original post by Jen and john(thoJ) and the CW Team, and then go to the Facebook page. The comments there are generally completely void of parodies, puns, clever word play, comradery and the other things that make this site a community for so many of us. You’ll feel right at home.

* * * * * *
@MovieMom: Thank you, but, I don’t know about finding my calling…every time I think I’ve found my calling, it’s a wrong number…

@VaBeach alemaP: Truth spoken with grace. Thank you.

@sendingtheclowns: well done.

@Jodee: hahaha…and what…still no groom!? I ain’t getting any younger….. Also, on your comment to @JD: exactly!

@SuBee: that was tooooo funny! Well done, well done…. Yes, this is a place for all, even the naysayers are free to naysay…. (But I can’t help but think it’s like what happens when a germ invades the body and the white cells quickly gather and gobble it up…..) And, it’s an honor to be “immortalized’ in song…I think…..

* * * * *
@TLC: I am sorry that things have become ugly. Sometimes pain and anger and frustration and sadness are expressed in less than kind ways. My heart goes out to you and all.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@mel - *applause*

@OP - Cake #1: Couldn't even get the base color for the tiers right, could you, baker? I mean, at least that would make it look like you tried. Cake #2: The Association of Professional Henna Artists called. You are being sued by them on behalf of the poor henna tattoo kits you abused to make this cake. Cake #3: I hope that bare spot is because someone tried to save the audience's eyesight from this eyesore.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterE. Anne

@SuBee: Best response to a troll EVAH!!!!!

@Sharyn: thanks. Just pray that it ends soon.

@mel: Sorry, I should have used a better word. No harsh words, just icky cancer stuff. I'll spare you the details. If we didn't already have a pastor lined up for the memorial service, however, we'd be talking to you about doing it for us. Now THAT would be memorable!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

<head down, kicking the ground> Aw shucks you guys...thank you so much. I love you all too, and the second round of comments has me cracking up yet again, the lyrics, the poems, the wedding skit....I have so much fun when I drop in here!
@TLC and @Jodee; sending you both good energy and loving thoughts, we can be strong with you!

Good night for now all!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

*Laugh* I hope these tasted better than they look!

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

@E. Anne: thank you....
@TLC: glad it's not harsh words...my experience has shown me that in this situation sometimes we get the best from people, sometimes the worst, and sometimes both. Cancer stuff sucks. (And yes, me doing the memorial service would be memorable...but I'm not sure that's a memory people would want.....) My thoughts are with you.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Really? Are those *professional* cakes? Surely not. Surely it was a 13-year-old's attempt. Especially the last one because, honestly, how could anyone show their face after that.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWynn Anne

Interrupting the Pete love fest to say I think Chewbacca may have been a violinist.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

It is very possible for that to be a Chewbacca outside the window. There are groups that will come in character to your weddings, usually for a donation to charity. I have done so myself, as Darth Vader.

The 501st Legion does this type of work in Imperial costumes, while the Rebel Legion uses (obviously) rebel costumes.

August 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZim

Anyone else thinking that Pete (as in "for the love of") might be Peter Mayhew? I do admire his work.

As for the bampoo cake, the leaning-tower-with-oversized-rabbit-pellets, and the Laffy Taffy Christmas Surprise, I'd have to say that "admire" is not the word I had in mind.

For TLC & Jodee, I'm glad you have somewhere to go for a laugh or two; those moments are precious and everyone needs to have a happy place to help them through the dark times. (Watched Mrs. Doubtfire tonight to admire the genius and mourn the loss, dagnabbit.)

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

The person on the other side of the window from the Han/Leia cake is clearly on the phone to a friend, saying "OMG! You have GOT to see THIS!"

I worry about the little piles of round black things around the base. Anyone else find themselves thinking of sheep?

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Cake Wrecks, I've missed you!
I visited you every day and told all my friends about you, but then things got crazy! I'm back to visit! Thanks for the laughs!

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermarylu

I have lurked on the CW site nearly every day for the last 3 years or so, and I just want to say that I love scrolling down to the comments under the post. I am always happy to see the parodies, stories, and Haikus because they either make me chuckle or they cause an all out snorting laughter fit. Keep up the great work!!!

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterladeybugg

This is our pal, Pete.
YOU MUST LOVE HIM. LOVE HIM NOW.
Wow, awkward. Sorry.

August 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Wow. I honestly hope the wreckerators ran for their lives after delivering these. Lol I do love the Han and Leia topper on that one cake.

August 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Nope, not Chewie outside. It's this guy: http://www.starwars.com/databank/bib-fortuna

August 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarin

There once was a grump named JD
Who really disliked parody
But s/he really liked Pete,
Thought he was real neat
And tried to spare him from lame poetry....like this!

August 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

My grandpa is named Pete.

I'm not sure he really wants a lot of love from strangers on the internet, he's fairly introverted, not a fan of crowds.

He is a very blessed man with a loving family though.

My cousin Sam Hill would like a word with you, however. He'd like to ask you what the Sam Hill took away your sense of humor.

August 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMara

A friend posted a cake on FB that looks like a miniature library. Some of you may have seen it. I have a friend who is a librarian so I shared the picture with her. She asked if I would make the cake for her. After I quit laughing and crying, I wrote back that my version would make it on Cakewrecks. No thanks. Some of us, obviously these decorators included, are just not meant to do cakes for public viewing.

August 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdkzody

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