The Beach Is Terrible And These Bakers Know It

Fall, Schmall - it's still 90 degrees here in the South, and we know just how to celebrate sun, sand, and whatever is happening here:

If you squint your eyes and back up a little, this will totally look fuzzier and farther away.

 

Look, Truth Time: we all know the beach sucks.

After all, it's hot,

 

...there are people there, a shark could eat your Barbies...

 

...there are people there, there's the whole sand situation...

 

...and sunburns,

(Actual photo of John after 20 minutes outside.)

...plus more people, and, well, you get the idea.

 

And can we talk about the littering? Because forget diapers in the ocean, now there are WHOLE BABY BUTTS:

This... cannot be sanitary.

Though I'll admit a grudging respect for whoever decided "Sleeping With The Fishes" was the perfect baby shower theme. I just hope they ran with it and had dock-side decorations, cement shoe balloon weights, and of course floating baby ice cubes, which for some reason are an actual thing.

 

Thanks to LeeAnn H., Heidi K., Porsha K., Chad C., Jennifer K., & Mary Susan for helping ensure none of my friends ever ask me to throw a baby shower. Again.

*****

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