My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."

[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."


[whispered] Confessions...


"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."


[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"


[whispered] Revelations...


"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."


[whispered] Disclosures...


"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."


[sound of pages flipping]
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...


"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."


Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]


Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.


Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (38)

Hilarious comments today Jen.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Sad part, is that the steampunk cake was not too the hands of a better baker it could have been good.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh my God, I can totally see 'Confessions Of A Master Baker" as a TV Show! Jen and John (thoj) as Co-Director and Producers and SuBee could write the theme song. I would watch it for sure! Bravo Jen! I can't wait for the next installment!

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Hello? Trees and snow. Not pickles and Parmesan. Trees and snow.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Did they "adhere" the gears to the steampunk cake with hot glue!? :^ O

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSM3

"I had my mother-in-law deliver it"

<Snort> <guffaw> <snortsniffle>

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterColin

The last comment (retrospective on naked mohawk-baby carrot jockeys) was an absolute classic, cleverly done.

Regarding the disco ball cake: I would say (cocking head sideways) it looks a bit busy, don't 'cha think?

Regarding the slalom cake: Wrong. On so many levels.

Last, but certainly not least - that butterfly cake. Honestly, the first thing I thought of was this: Looks like it is covered with moths that flew out of the garbage disposal.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

I actually like the disco ball one >.<

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFortAngel

The disco ball one is well done-except for the fact that it has a disco ball smooshed on top. And yes, Tiffany, we know it's SUPPOSED to be trees and snow. But it LOOKS like pickles and parmasan cheese. (Or green wang doodles.)

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPegali

That second cake would've been just fine if they'd quit while they were ahead. Why would they add the flowers and disco ball?

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKim

What are those transparent, rubbery looking blobs on the steampunk cake? All I can see are used condoms.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBlubonnet

I thought the butterfly one was clams at first...wondeting why someone would want clams on their cake...

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBethe

Just Glue Some Gears On It (And Call It Steampunk) - Reginald Pikedevant

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered Commenternancy1745

I can't stop seeing Tom Servo

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBlackChocobo

The 'pickles' on that one cake look like shiny green turds with coconut. Bleech

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaribel

I would totally order the disco ball cake. It's like the inside of my head in cake form.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBegonia Storms

They looked like Jalapenos to me. Maybe the bride asked for a "hot" cake?

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

No. Plastic flotsam for trees, so wrong!

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Oh to ski on Pickle Mountain...

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

O.M.G! So many things to comment on. I'll just choose a random three:

The first cake would have been pretty good - if they had skipped the "drizzle".

Why are there blobs of hot glue on the Steampunk cake?

I like the disco ball - just not the cake it's on.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

The disco ball one is competently done, well-proportioned, with firm fondant, and not all that bad. Just find someone or someones who like disco.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

The disco ball one would've been better either without the disco ball or flowers (I think latter).

Best neither.

Shame because the polka dot trim is actually very well done.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMel

*tilting head*
I still see lily pads.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

Except for the ginormous Disco Ball, I kinda like the disco cake. The colors are bit.... off. Neon green and hot pink....preppie edgy...? Anyway, the technique is good, even if the actual cake is

As for the Others...yeah. Pickles and Parmi. Yummy cake idea! And the butterflies.... I saw clams too.

Hilarious posting Jen and John (thoJ)... top marks!

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

"I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!" no need, the cake was bright enough for that!

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

@Begonia Storms, LOL - classic!

Just another thought on the disco cake: It kinda looks like a meteor which crash-landed on a cake - a meteor from a galaxy which was born in the late 1970s.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

The Steampunk cake actually looks pretty good, imo. But maybe I just haven't seen enough steampunk cakes to tell the difference.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRune

These bakers have skill, skill at making the ugliest bunch of cakes I have ever seen!

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Disco ball cake would be fine - without the disco ball.

May 17, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

SuBee for the win! Pickle Mountain!

The tentacles on the steampunk cake are a little too anatomically correct for me. The disco ball cake has too much going on for me with the mirror ball and the flowers. I like the layers, though.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

You guys are wonderful! Thanks for cheering up my day.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

I like the carrots and babies reference.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuperRed38

@ Neeta

YES! Crash-landed Disco ball. EXACTLY what it looks like! ROTFLMAO ! Thanks for that one!

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

+1 in favor of the disco ball concept. I actually LOVE that idea, although the pictured cake may be just a smidge off in the frosting/fondant color department.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

At least the steam punk one they got tentacles correct. Otherwise...

Please, for the sake of my sanity - does anyone know what those bits of used condoms/hot glue are on the steampunk cake? What they are, what they're supposed to be, anything? I'm gonna have nightmares about those things tonight.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie NK

I love chocolate but seeing that wedding cake may just make me want to avoid frosting for a good long time lol.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I'm with the general consensus that the disco ball cake is only one or two steps away from being perfect. You could redo the colors to reflect disco (think electric pink) and that would make the disco ball bring the cake together. You could remove the disco ball entirely and just use the polka-dot cake as is which is incredibly well made. Or you could do both.

May 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

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