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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May262017

A Cake Wrecks Correspondence

"A Typical Day Of John Checking E-Mail"

Dear [REDACTED],

Thank you for choosing Cake Wrecks for such an important occasion! I'd be delighted to offer you a quote, but first let me show you a few of our most popular Sesame Street cakes, so you can pick out your favorite.

(Please note that for copyright reasons we can't actually call these Sesame Street characters, but I'm sure our versions will look VERY familiar. ;))

"Huge Bird"

"Oreo Monster"

"Trash Head"
aka "Mr. Can-'Do"

And "Petrified Elro"

Or for a little extra, you can get all four characters together!

[plastic faces not included]

 

We also have some new "Bieber-licious" character cookies your son is sure to love:

Prices vary depending on the cake's size, flavor, and age, so just let us know how many people you'd like to feed and how picky you are about "freshness." Delivery is free within a twenty mile radius, but keep in mind our delivery guy moonlights as a mobile pet groomer, so there's always a SLIGHT chance of pet hair - but really, that almost never happens. (Which reminds me: Billy gives our customers a 15% discount! Just FYI.)

Let me know which cake you'd prefer, and thanks again for choosing Cake Wrecks!

- john (the hubby of Jen)

 

***

 

 

Thanks to Todd T, Julie B., David & Debbie B., Jennifer G., Anony M., & Cynthia for actually making it through our contact page without thinking we make all these cakes ourselves.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« Sunday Sweets: A Memorial Day Salute | Main | The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007 »

Reader Comments (23)

Dear John (HoJ),

Thank you for your quick response to my request. I would like to order cake #5 (representing four popular "Sesame Street' characters sinking into the Swamp of Sadness.) Would it be possible to replace the Muppets in the sample with Bieber-licious characters? I will be serving 15 people who would love to see Bieber sinking into the swamp.

I am enclosing a 25% deposit. As I am somewhat out of your delivery zone, I was hoping I could meet you halfway. Let's say somewhere in North Carolina. I will be on the corner of Scott Ave. and East Blvd (across from the Starbucks on Tuesday at 3:15 PM with the balance. I look forward to meeting you there.

You can reach me by "Reader Comments" or Chrystal Orb with any questions.

Sincerely,
R.E. Dacted

P.S. I want sprinkles.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

How are they going to get Huge Bird off the cake so they can cut it? What happened to Wonder Woman; why does she seem to be wearing such enormous shorts?

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I'm guessing that "girar" = "first" on a qwerty board.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I love your stickman posts, John! Though SuBee almost beat you with her comment :-D

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

Holy moley!

Kudos to Classic Steve for figuring out the "girar" word; I was totally baffled.

😆

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

"Huge Bird", huh?......Don't you mean "Huge Turd"?
=^-.-^=

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I love wonder women's giant underpants. Looks like what I wear after having six kids.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Always love your posts but the stick figure posts just add that little something more that made this even funnier.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kirkland

"Trash Head"
aka "Mr. Can-'Do"

aka "Mr. Migraine Aura"

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Hysterical!

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

LOL @john(thoj) and @Subee!

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

*sigh* Yeah, I do the snarky email then retype method all the time. The version I send is never as fun.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

You should have sent the pictures.

I'd love to know what her response would have been.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

I answer my organization's consumer feedback page. I have this basic reaction to about half of my correspondence.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCarma

"Girar birthday" sounds pretty metal to me.

May 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJackalgirl

Oh these are my favorite posts lol. Man I wish you had sent those pictures the reaction would have been priceless I bet..unless of course they ordered one lol.

May 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

What I love is that the correspondent thought all the Wrecks were samples of the bakery's best work and still wanted to order one! I guess he/she/they/it was hoping for "the talented one" who does all the Sunday Sweets!

May 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAA

I love Huge Bird the icing-covered pineapple.

May 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Who would name their child Kensington?

May 27, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterted

How?

How do you so much as stumble across this site and think they make cakes?

Furthermore, how do you see the pictures on here and WANT these cakes (assuming they didn't base their inquiry on a Sunday Sweets post)?

I'm just. Just. How.

May 27, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

I don't think I like Wonder Woman wearing those granny panties.

Who would name their child Kensington? The same type of person who names their child Chelsea or Brooklyn. It's only a matter of time before someone names their offspring Wapping or Yonkers.

May 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlice Shortcake

I hope little Mr. or Miss Dacted, Jr, had a good girar brithday aynwya, even without a fine Cake Wrecks masterpiece.

No worries about anyone naming their child "Wappinger." Why not? Well, Wappinger's Falls, for starters...

*backs away slowly*

May 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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