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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jun282017

Wedding Whoopsies

Brides, have you ever had a lofty cake dream...

 

...fall flat?

 

Or have you ever wished for pretty-as-a-picture polka dots...

 

...only to get gravity-defying cow patties?

 

How about something that should have been simply sublime...

 

...that turned terrifying?

 

Perhaps your "something blue"...

 

...has you seeing red?

 

Have you ever wanted creamy lace and bows...

 

...only to get "AAAAUUUGGHH!!"

Well, have you?

Yes?

Oh, good!

Then send me a picture, won't you?

This stuff cracks. me. up.

 

Thanks to brides Ashley B., Emily K., Lara A., Christie S., & Kathleen M. for sharing their private pain with us. So that we may laugh. And then feel kinda bad about it. But not enough to stop laughing.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:


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Reader Comments (19)

The pink one is exactly what happens when someone presents a fondant cake and says "I want exactly this but with no fondant." I think the baker probably did the best under the circumstances.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMissT

I KEEP hoping to someday see a topper with the BRIDE being the one trying to make a getaway!!! ;-)

=^-.-^=

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That groom isn't trying to escape the bride, just the cake.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I don't get that topper, either. On the good cake, it looks like the groom is falling off the edge, and the bride is rescuing him. So he's stupid? He needs her to keep him safe? Either way, I can't see the marriage being happy. In the knock-off cake, it looks like he's trying to jump. So the bride wants a groom who doesn't want her? Presumably she's proud enough in both cases to broadcast his shortcoming, and he's not man enough to protest the disparagement. This topper just makes me sad for the "happy" couple, even considering Classic Steve's interpretation.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

That bottom cake looks like somebody dropped it, smashed a tier and wonkily pushed the two remaining bits back together in a misguided hope that nobody would notice that it had already started out badly. It is unfathomable that any baker could serve that cake to a wedding party and ask for payment for their services.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThe baking chemist

To be fair, brown polka dots are going to look like smushed cow patties regardless of how you make them. Even the original looks like just pretty cow patties there. If you want polka dots, pick a different color.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

I don't think the 1st and 3rd ones are that bad. As someone else stated, you can't get the same look as fondant if you're using buttercream.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

There are NOT professional cakes. They are done by loving hands at home. Hands on the ends of arms that have been hitting the bottle. I could do better than this! I think The Squire could do better!

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I agree with Miss T- I think a lot of the buttercream horrors are because the customer wanted it, not realizing it will not behave the same as fondant.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterccrow

The pink one would have been okay if they'd just used some cornstarch on their finger to pat the swirls out of the spots. It's so SIMPLE and works great.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSelaura

As many folks have mentioned, this site would have far less material if brides just STOPPED bringing pictures of fondant cakes that they want made in buttercream. Bakers also need to STOP saying "sure, that will look almost exactly the same in buttercream. No problem!"

Stop the madness Brides, the power is in your hands.

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBeth C.

That last cake. *Tilts head sideways* I feel like we need more of those. "WHEN CAKES GET MURDERED".

June 28, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJ'NaeNae

Sorry, zippo sympathy here.

Originals are precision cakes done in fondant.

The supposed fails are done in butter cream.

HELLO?

I have seen butter cream so well done, it looks like fondant. Those mad skills are few and far between.

It's only a fail in my book if the baker PROMISED it would be exactly the same.

Another Pinterest dream on a Wal-Mart budget.

I do feel bad about the dropped cake. You should be able to get the cake to the table. I'd be mad.

June 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFordPrefect313

I have zero artistic talent, but... it's just weird to me that bakers don't even use the correct size/shape pans to get close to what people ask for. It seems like the basic first step.

June 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Folks, I think there are far bigger issues here than just the fondant/buttercream one.

June 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

All wrecks aside, I'm with everyone else who posted about the escaping grooms. Enough already. It's not funny, it's not cool, certainly not classy, and is flattering to neither party. This is not a knock on you posting the cakes by any means since your point was to highlight the well-done/poor execution of the cake itself, just a general comment. It's disappointing to see otherwise lovely cakes ruined by such toppers.

June 29, 2017 | Unregistered Commentercg

Well I loved the cake with roses on it til I got to the wrecked avalanche of all kinds of things falling off the wrecked version lol. Too scared to even ask why all the roses were speeding off that cake.

June 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I know there are bigger issues than just the fondant vs buttercream.

The fondant cakes shown are at least $1K+ in my area. Those are from cake shops that do more than flip three different sizes of cake on each other, smear it with butter cream and even fuglier tat.

How much is the promise *I can get that cake down to $400, when the original is $2K?*

How much is some cake shop owner over reaching in the talent and skill area and scared to lose a sale?

How much is it the bride didn't check out if the shop made ANY comparable cakes? If all you see is double layer birthday cakes and Texas sheet cake single layer stuff, what are the chances the place could pull off a cake like #1?

I know somewhere there is a coke snorting/scotch shots baker, who decides today is the day to get the drunk and high on. I get people flake out, and the bride gets a $3K pile of horror and crumbs.

My cake shop own friend just turned down a Bridezilla who wanted the buttercream instead of fondant, multi-tiered with a zillion little designs added, must be delivered to an August venue (90F+ heat here). It was a hard pass, because the woman was never going to be happy, not using fondant didn't drop the price by a huge amount, and no money is worth dealing with cray-cray.

She is lucky she can let that type of order walk.

July 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFord_Prefect313

I work at the grocery store chain that last example picture came from. And I can tell you based on the board and the size of the cake, the customer paid for a birthday cake, not the wedding cake in the picture, $60 vs $400. Unless that decorator just went completely crazy and decided to give them a $60 cake for $400. I have customers all the time come in and want wedding cakes but don't want to pay for them. And our prices are about half what you would get at a specialty cake shop. When they go to a Specialty Cake Shop don't like the price and come to me expecting to get the same cake cheaper. I even had one customer bring me a magazine article that showed how to save money on your wedding cake. The article showed a picture of a $5,000 cake next to a similar cake for $500 and explained why the prices were different. And yet the customer wanted the $5,000 example, and couldn't understand why it was going to be more than $300.

July 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie‚Äč

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