Tanks For The Memories

Over the weekend John tried to "fix" my latest bout of insomnia by dragging me out to a Flea Market after I'd had about 2 hours' sleep. I assume there was a reasoning behind this, something to do with sunshine, or walking around, or the fact that - ah, yes - there was a World War 2 re-enactment happening in the field next door.

It looked kind of like this, only somehow less sweaty.

So there I was, staggering through aisles of dusty antiques, car stereos, and questionable bulk candy (c'mon, how old ARE those dried papaya slices, really?), when all of a sudden the ground is shaking with mortar fire and explosions.

I never knew tanks had old-timey Cadillac fenders on them.

Come to think of it, I still don't.

John and I went outside to watch the giant clouds of smoke and running soldiers and whatnot for a bit, and naturally I snapped a few pics and video for the 'gram.

Which... inspired a few questions.

Later, as I attempted to explain to a few bewildered Europeans why we - and by "we" I mean Americans - sometimes drive around in tanks and shoot blanks out of machine guns for 30 minutes on a Saturday, it occurred to me there are probably lots of things we - still mean Americans - do that must seem odd to internationals.

Like our obsession with cupcake cakes (ptooie!):

(This could be the sleep deprivation talking, but is that another tank?)

Or our bizarre tradition of writing "We hope you fail, you're dead to us now" on farewell cakes:

::helpless shrug::

Or - my personal favorite - there's the way we can expertly critique everyone's Töedinlochslingers on The Great British Bake-Off, even though the most complex thing we've ever baked are canned crescent rolls.

Really feeling this one.

Just me?

That's the beauty of cakes wrecks, though, minions; they bring our nations together.

Unlike tanks.

Unless the tanks are cakes, maybe. Oh! Or better yet, wedding cakes. But c'mon, where am I EVER going to find a tank wedding ca... yeah who am I kidding here.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Tanks to Anony M., Shelley P., Christina H., Felicia R., Heather T., Rebecca K., & Lisa W. for helping me make Google searches for "Töedinlochslingers" go up about 1,000% today.

*****

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