Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep082008

I Think I've Just Been Punk'd

If you guys thought the first wedding disaster cake was bad, hold on to your pantaloons.

Alright, let's set the scene: here's what the bride asked for, only in all white with minor green accents.

Now, I would tell you to take a moment to prepare yourselves for the horror you're about to witness, but frankly no amount of time would be adequate. So just go ahead and scroll down now.


I'll give you a moment.

[whistling]

Back in your seat now? Good. Because believe it or not, there's more. Aw yeah.

1) The top tier still had the Springform pan under it.

2) The cake "base" is a metal sign.

3) I swear I am not making this up.

Ok, so the bottom levels are covered with a fondant lumpier than the Bearded Lady's thighs, and the top tier is the wrong shape and isn't even iced completely. I see all that, and yet you know what the funniest bit to me is? Those green lines up the sides, which I can only assume are attempts at "ribbons": not only are they as unlike ribbons as icing can possibly get, but they don't even line up! Somehow that last bit of lunacy just sends me over the edge.

(This post is also the first in a new category: Missed Marks. Because nothing is quite so wrecktastic as when you see what it was supposed to look like.)

Now like you, I'm sure, I was highly skeptical about this being a "professional" cake. However, the e-mail came from the bride herself, and she seemed outraged enough to be telling the truth. (Yes, a replacement cake was procured at the eleventh hour.) I can only assume the icing and generic tips in the photo were purchased to try and "fix" the cake after it was picked up. In fact, Vicky C., if you're reading this, you might want to chime in on the Comments section now, just to back me up here.

[crickets chirping]

Vicky? Er, Vicky, c'mon now, this isn't funny.

[crickets still chirping]

Seriously, Vicky: tell the people I'm telling the truth. Vicky? Er...Vicky?

Vicky?!?

UPDATE: YES!! Vicky the bride has spoken!!! Check the Comments section for her assurances of this cake's validity. (You'll have to scroll waaaay down; you guys are certainly letting your voices be heard on this one, aren't you?)

Sunday
Sep072008

Fan Wrecks

We've officially come full circle, folks: people are now making Wrecks on purpose, either in honor of the site or just to recreate their favorite specimens. Check it out:

This wrecktastic design was the brainchild of readers Alissa, Elisa, Phillip, Gail & Tara. Hey guys, shouldn't the baby be riding one of those carrots?

Msyendor was more musically inspired: here's a song to the tune of "Working on the Railroad":

"I've been looking at some Cake Wrecks,
And laugh until I cry.
I've been looking at some Cake Wrecks,
So glad one isn't mine!

Visions of sweet disasters
See 'Toe Jams' 8/11/08.
Missed spellings gaily plastered
Ferule to, uh, pree, she aaaate!

Baby butts upturned,
'Wachungas' -what a word,
Effigies invite you: Slash away!

Psychedelic dreams,
Done in tasty butter cream,
I'm putting in an order today!"

Readers Aimee C., Amy G., Jessica S., & Amanda K. threw a Cake Wreck Decorating Party:

A "patchwork quilt" of "wreckish elements". (If you say so, guys...)

And a nicely inappropriate use of quotation marks. "Excellent!"

"Run, Wall-E, Run!"

Here's an official Wreck, since it was professionally made for an Army guy. Submitter Lena had the decorator replace the original inscription with the most famous of Wreck mistakes, and then swapped Eve out for a toy tank. (Which is especially funny when you realize the blue is supposed to be the night sky - it's a Hover Tank!) Believe it or not, though, the space poos are part of the original design - proving that it wasn't that far off from wreckiness to begin with.

And lastly, the quintessential Cake Wrecks homage:


Not only is the inscription referencing at least five separate Wrecks, it's also rocking some extremely unbalanced sprinkles distribution and crazy clashing red dots. Score!

Teresa B. and gang, you rock. Totally.