The Easter WOW Factor

Easter cakes, this is your week to shine! WOW US!

::awkward pause::

Ok, new plan: 

Continue avoiding eye contact and hope for the best.

Am I seeing things, or are those twist ties sticking out of Groucho's neck?

And are these ... mandibles?

HOVER BUN.

Hang on, I just found my new favorite:

I don't know what it is, but I like how you can almost hear it screaming.

Here comes Peter Cotton's tail!

YOU SPIT PETER OUT THIS INSTANT!

You just don't see enough anthropomorphic fire hydrant cakes these days.

Am I right, or am I right?

And in case you've ever wondered what a snooty cat eating a lemon would look like:

WONDER NO MORE.

(I'm afraid to ask what those ears are made of, so let's just call them what they look like: rawhide pig ears dipped in white chocolate. Thereby making plastic sound a MILLION times more appetizing.)

Now, I know you've all been wondering, so I'm happy to report that I've finally figured it out:

THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH AMERICA.

Thanks to Barb & Jane, Patrick D., Emily E., Amy T., Erin G., Ted W., Lisa M., & Jennifer S. for inspiring my next band name: The Amorphous Bunny Blobs. (We'll only play sock hops, of course.)

*****

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And REALLY Bad Eggs!

With all of the mutant bunny and chick cakes oozing around, I'd like to take a moment to remind you that there's actually much more to Easter than mutant bunny and chick cakes.

There are also wonky cross and historically inaccurate tomb cakes!

 And consternated brownie blobs!

And commemorations of the day Pac-Man went rogue!

We can't forget the flag-impaled lamb cakes, either:

No matter HOW hard we try.

BONUS SMOKING LAMB CAKE::

Because we STILL don't understand these things.

(I haven't seen any new ones in at least a year or two, though. No doubt the secret society of smoking lamb cakes has gone even DEEPER underground.)

Of course, we all have that one friend who likes to lecture us on how Easter actually started as a pagan fertility festival, to which I say:

There has GOT to be a fertility joke in here somewhere.

Let's see ...

Something about a bad egg?

Nah.

A cake that's hard to reproduce?

No.

An Easter spread?

You know what, I think I'll just stop there.

Thanks to Miriam R., Susan B., Diane F., Jennifer R., Kathy C., & Jenna M. from the bottom of my heart.(Because the upside down heart looks like a bottom? EH? No, please, I'll show myself out.)