PERILOUS PERIL

It's Friday the 13th, and wreckerators are up to their old tricks:

 Cakes that stare:

Cakes that WOULD stare if they had a face:

Menacing snowman heads playing golf:

(I think?)

Gratuitous use of berry topping:

(Is that a number 3 or a heart? And why does it scare me either way?)

Alarming cakes for 6-year-olds:

(When I was 6 I liked Winnie-the-Pooh, is all I'm saying.)

And of course, HORSE HEADS FOR EVERYONE.

You get a creepy horse head, and YOU get a creepy horse head, EVERYBODY GETS A CREEPY HORSE HEEEEAD!!

Happy Friday the 13th, y'all. Watch out for suspiciously large bakery boxes, k?

And thanks to Roberta, Danielle M., Karen M., Katie N., Anna B., & Maja V. for being the only neigh-sayer.

P.S. I feel duty-bound to inform you that these are less than $13 on Amazon:

Creepy Horse Head Mask

Do with this information what you will. :D

Reading Between The Wrecks

Chocolates? Flowers? Cutesy stuffed animals?

BO-RING.

This Valentine's day, give me something a little out-of-the-ordinary! Something a little daring!  Something a little...um...

...crappy? 

 (Remember, the couple that leaves flaming bags of poo on doorsteps together, STAYS together.)

I'm getting kind of a mixed message here.

Ok, now it's less mixed.

Hang on. So you're saying you morph into a heart-chomping werewolf at night? Is that it?

 And the call is coming from inside the house?

And you may need diapers?

But you still love me in your barbaric, wolfish way?

  Aw. Well, I guess that IS kind of sweet...

Will you stop killing things while I'm trying to talk to you.

Well, I guess the only really important thing is that we understand one another, right?

[crickets]

 That and house training, of course.

BAD WEREWOLF.

Thanks to Rebekah G., Meredith G., Carolyn, Brandy S., Chau, Laura E., Kerry M., Lynn B., Anne Q., & Anthony S. for reminding us to just stick with boxes of chocolates. 

Unless we're werewolves.

******

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: