My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Fetch Me A Hammer, 'Cuz I'm Gonna NAIL THIS

I just realized that the term "nailed it!" can have two meanings. Well, three. But despite my naughty word outburst yesterday, this IS still a mostly family-friendly establishment, and the third meaning is a little TOO family-friendly, IF you KNOW what I'm SAYING.

Sorry, my caps lock HAS DEVELOPED A MIND of its OWN.


Where was I?

No, I mean yesterday: where was I? Because I'm guessing these feathers came from somewhere.

Perhaps I should start again.

So. "Nailed it." It can mean, "What ho! I have successfully accomplished my intended endeavor!" *OR* it can mean you hit something with your car.

Pay attention now, because this is a very long setup for a very flat punchline:



THANKS TO ANN LEE, who I'm hoping can tell me what kind of bird sheds strawberry-scented feathers. And glitter. And...oh. Waaaaiiit....

« The Secret's Out! | Main | GET ME A UNICORN CHASER! (Oh. Wait.) »

Reader Comments (51)

Never really thought of what happens in Frogger when I did not made it across the road. Now I know.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules ♂

Uhmmmm...seriously...WAT IS THAT? :?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhumee29

okay, what is it? I think the hammer completely missed that nail.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

I have only one thing to ask. What is that suppose to be I'm at a complete loss!?

I think this might be an alternate universe version of the scene in the Muppet Movie where the steamroller got Kermit!

Ode to the Steamroller

Bumpity bounce it flattens as it goes.
Makes everything look funny as over them it goes.
Rolling along the phycologist it pleases,
As test after test it makes with eases.
It goes along it's merry way.
What the things were before who can say?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Oh, that poor, flat alligator! By any chance is his name Stanley?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonkaloosa

Sung to "Baby, You Can Drive my Car"

Asked my friend, Ann Lee, "What can it be/"
She said, "Don't know. What do you see?"
"Looks reptilian, it's really quite green."
"Sorry, I tried to drive in between."

"Ann Lee, please don't drive my car.
Poor thing didn't get too far.
Think that's gonna leave a scar.
I think that you nailed it."

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

...I love you Jen.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTimba

o.O They finally found something that can squish Hulk?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily S.

worst alligator ever

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdiddleymaz

I think they're a fan of Picasso.
If he had painted an alligator
that's what I think it would look like

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

oh my gosh! that gator is hilariously flat! does anyone else think think that those feathers she was talking about sounded, well, awesome. yes. i said awesome. I'M SUCH A DORK!
that was a quote from DORK DIARIES if you peoples did not know that. if you didnt know that, go to the nearest WALMART, purchose it, AND READ IT HARD!!!!!!!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTalia A. G.

Clearly, you have more interesting Monday nights than I do. And I want a strawberry daquiri, but not one of those cupcakes, no matter what it was supposed to be.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

That long set-up was perfect for that wreck! Thanks as ever for the daily laugh! <3

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanD

@Sharyn: beep-beep, beep-beep, YEAH!!

It's like the wreckerators aren't even trying anymore! I ordered cupcakes for a friend's baby shower yesterday and I'm dreading picking it up, despite good results in the past.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda's not easy being green...

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

I find the cake incidental to this post. :) Also, I hope you'll be posting a conclusion to your acknowledgements!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

The first alligator that oozed out of the primordial slime? Very...historical.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

As I'm not quite certain whether that's a snake or a frog (a common problem when you "nail it"), I shall hereby christen it a "Snog". Which gives the whole thing yet another meaning. Aheh.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Firstoff, WTF?! what IS that thing??? D: Second, to Sharyn bwahahaha

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

WHEN will CCC makers LEARN that there are some shapes you simply CANNOT make out of lots of little round cakes???

Hmm. This CaPSlock thing appears to be catching.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

"AND I'VE ALSO BEEN DRINKING." too funny, and I wish I was too!
Perhaps this cake is the mash-up of Johnny Depp in Rango and The Rum Diary.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindz

When I read the title, my first thought was" oh god, not more toenail cakes"!!!!! :P

I was doing pretty good until I got to BADkarma & Snog. Bwahahahaha!!!!!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Obviously an alligator, but one that was sunning itself on the road when a dump truck ran over it.


July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatTrampoline

A somewhat-overused geek inside joke actually seems to be apropo here: Dear God, what is that THING?!?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Pfft. That's easy. It's a snake that swallowed a bag of jaw breakers and was subsequently flattened by a gang (a troup? a herd?) of motorcycle riders, as evidenced by the tire tread marks. ; - )

@BADKarma: hee! I see what you did there!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Poor Ichabod the Amoeba. He thought his frog costume was convincing, but all the other amoebae at the party thought he was supposed to be an alligator. Dejected, he oozed home alone. Just as he was crossing the road to his little petrie dish by the swamp, he saw a light. "Is it my fairy godmoeba? Is it Tinkerbell?" wondered Ichy.


Alas, no. Poor Ichabod was immoebilized forever by a truck carrying a load of Lysol. Poetic indignity.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB


I <3 Jen, too...

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

See, down herein the South (or up here because I'm north of Jen in Oralndo?) you stick a Cromson Tide tire tred on that pitiful gator and they'd sell like hotcakes. It'd be a HC-CCC.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeeshybee

Oh, I do think it's an alligator, but it was eating a left over 4th of July firecracker and the Cake Wrecker caught it in mid explosion.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

What-is-that!?!I had no idea that was an alligator..I swear I thought it was a squished dinosaur

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSky

@DB: Brilliant!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

I'm stealing "What ho! I have successfully accomplished my intended endeavor!" for my very own. Thank you!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Well, I went straight to "Tom the Toad" (to "Oh, Tannenbaum")

Oh, Tom the Toad, oh Tom the Toad, why did you jump in to the road?
Oh, Tom the Toad, oh Tom the Toad, why did you jump in to the road?
You used to be so green and fat, and now you are so red and flat.
Oh, Tom the Toad, oh Tom the Toad, why did you jump in to the road?

(many verses ensue, each less appetizing than the last...)

and speaking of potentially unappetizing comments, what happened to yesterday's? I can't get them to load!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterASG

I live in Gainesville (home of the Gators). I'd recognize an alligator wreck anywhere. I see 'em all the time at the local grocery stores, but none are this bad. Was someone playing Whack-a-Mole with that poor alligator?

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Tracee has Biology before Home Economics. Tracee gets a C- for not stitching neatly. Tracee removed the stitches and made frog meatloaf for extra credit.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarkM

Somewhere, in the dark recesses of what passes for a mind in the realm of wreckorators, there grew an idea. It seemed like a good idea at the time; it might even have made sense to someone else.

Until the boss (who has pointy hair) happened by and said, "It needs something. [thinks] Add five more cupcakes, and you have a winner. Fix it."

So the design was 'fixed' and went on to live in infamy.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

...annnnnd, I saw the title and went with Captain Hammer "and when I say hammer I mean my"


shuffles off to corner for time out (humph)

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne


July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

My guess is an alligator from Chernobyl (that might explain the weird bumps on its sides)

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSueM

I think Puff the Magic Dragon has been de-puffed. And scrambled.

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

This is why I read your blog. Hilarious post, Jen!:-)

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarnieB

My first thought was puff the magic dragon. And then I thought nah, he's not even popular anymore. Then I thought but maybe the baker was a fan and wasn't in the right state of mind when doing this. And then I thought "wait, I just put more thought into this than the baker did". My list of can do's for being a baker is getting longer by the day. Ha!

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah


July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Sure its not a frog? It looks like it maybe is supposed to be a frog... *squints eyes*

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbreanna

I thought my hubby (aka the Ragin' Cajun) would know instantly it was an alligator. (You know how those Cajuns live all over the Louisiana swamps catching (and eating!) 'gators, turtles, frog legs & all.) But even he had no idea what that green thing was! I mentioned TLC's comment about it being Puff after he's been de-puffed and my 8yr old son instantly agreed! Funny thing, he didn't seem bothered that Puff had been de-puffed. Poor Puff; you've lost another Jackie Paper! :'-(

PS to our Cake Wreck songstresses & poets - excellent! (as always!)

July 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Is this possibly the thing that gives out green eggs and ham? Lol anything has to be better than my guesses as to what that is supposed to be. Could be a squished lizard and if so I would hope the wreckerators ran away once the customer saw it and died laughing or crying honestly I would do both at this.

July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That is THE BEST CakeWreck EVER! I don't know what it is, but it is awesome(ly bad).

July 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

@ASG Too funny! Now just wait til December for the literal frog wreck Christmas cakes!

July 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Crossin' the highway late last night
He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The frog got squashed and there you are!

You got yer
Dead frog in the middle of the road
Dead frog in the middle of the road
You got yer dead frog in the middle of the road
Stinkin' to high Heaven!

Oh, and "Nailed it" could refer to attaching one piece of wood to another.

July 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeff

I've been a reader for years, first time commenting though. "Romantical" got me to finally leave a note - Congratulations on your Romanical "yeers of lifes tuhgether"

My hubby and I are in the "married young and still together club" too - nice to hear we've got some company. Really love the blog, it's very clever.

July 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJade

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