Overselling It

"Good day, Madam! Please allow me to welcome you to the West Rutheford Winery, Gastropub and Patisserie. Might I offer you a moist towelette?"

"Um, no. I just need to order a cake for my son's birthday, please."

"But of course! We have many, many cakes to choose from. If I may point out on our Ménu dú Jöur, here you see we have our Incredibly Moist Chocolate Cake Uniquely Finished By Hand With Butter Cream Icing."

"As you can see, it is 'Great For Any Occasion.'"

"Finished by hand? Are you sure feet weren't involved?" [smirking]

[ahem] "Ah, yes, very amusing. Well, Madam, if that is not your particular cup of Earl Gray, might I suggest our Moist Gold Cake Uniquely Hand Finished Tastes Just Like A Real "WATERMELON"?

"Soooo, it tastes like a watermelon?"

"Not at all, Madam. It tastes like a 'WATERMELON.'"

"Ah."

"Ah, but I have saved the best for last! It is the pièce de résistance of our repertoire, the crème de la crème, the horloge de le stylo du la baguette fo di fa fa! Behold!

"A Rich Belgian Chocolate Cup filled with a layer of moist yellow Cake, Fudge, and sweet cream Ice Cream and topped with fluffy white Frosting...

...and a menstrual duo."

"Ew."

"As you might expect, this is available but once a month."

...

"Madam? Wait! Where are you going?!"

Thanks to eagle-eyed Wreckporters Dawn C. and Aimee W. who are just glad that last one isn't red velvet.

Oh, and since *I* couldn't figure it out, I thought you might want to know that last label should read minstrel - which is apparently a type of cake. Plus, when Aimee pointed it out to the manager she shrugged, said they were all probably like that, and put it back on the shelf. Yay, quality control!

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sunday Sweets: Grandma's Kitchen Counter

These may not be your grandmother's cakes... but I bet she'd love them.

(By Papillon Cakes, website currently disabled)

Rickrack and strawberries? Yes, please!

If we learned anything from Grandma's house, it's that you can never have too many floral patterns.

(By Nevie-Pie Cakes)

Especially when they're hand-painted.

No one does "dainty" like our grandmothers did. Mine recently gave me a bunch of her old jewelry, and there are necklace pendants in there smaller than my pinky nail. I'm talking TINY.

Kind of like the little accent flowers on this bottom tier:

(By Cakes by Suzanne)

Can't you just see this on a Formica countertop with little aqua star bursts on it?

And doesn't this look like one of those fancy candy dishes from Grandma's formal living room?

(By Sif Jensen)

The green even has a slightly translucent feel to it, like leafy green depression glass. SO PRETTY.

Did your grandparents go through a cherub phase? Mine had art, statues, some particularly memorable soap dishes... but sadly, no gorgeous cakes like this:

(By Svetlana Bayankina)

How appropriate the baker chose cherubs; that hand-piping is HEAVENLY.

Not all color schemes are timeless, of course - but I gotta say, I never thought a baker could make avocado green and peach look this sweet:

(By Two Cakes but I can't find a site for them)

And more awe-inspiring piping - it's just so delicate!

Now throw in a little lace and some more hand-painted roses...

(By Bubolinkata)

YES. Grandma, I take back everything I said about your avocado green fridge. (But I stand fast on my opinion of mustard yellow carpets.)

Did/does your grandmother wear pastel skirt suits? You know, those woven ones that were kind of scratchy? And that always had a giant matching brooch on the lapel?

BOOM:

(By Erica O'Brien Cake Design)

Admit it, this would make the most gorgeous skirt suit EVAH.

But at the end of the day, I think it's the combination of soft colors and delicate gilded designs that reminds me most of our grandmothers:

(By Sweet Art)

Something here just seems to capture that vintage sense of style and sweetness.

And of course it doesn't get more timeless than a couple of Grandma's favorites: creamy lace, ribbon, and roses:

(By Sweet & Simple Cakes)

Mmm. Perfection.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

******

P.S. Anyone want to bring vintage style pins back? Because this entire set of 7 lovelies is only $15:

7 Pc Women's Brooch Set

OooOOOooh. I think the owl is my favorite. And the peacock. And the dragonfly.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: