Heeeey Sexah LAY-DAY

Don't worry, this isn't going to be a Gangnam Style parody. Promise. It's just that every time I see one of those "baby bump" limbless torso cakes trying so desperately to be sexy, that's all I hear in my head:

"HEEEEEY SEXAH LAY-DAY!"

Plus now I can't stop picturing Psy screaming at all the fondant boobies:

I feel ya, man.

But enough about me. Let's talk about why so many women enjoy displaying edible effigies of their nearly naked torsos for a bunch of other women while celebrating the imminent expulsion of a human being from their bodies.

(When you put it like that, it's kind of messed up, right?)

And while I'll never think pregnant torso cakes are a good idea, at least the ones wearing clothing are a little LESS tacky. The "sexy" ones just make me wonder: who gets all hot and bothered looking at a dismembered pregnant torso?

Before you get too turned on, you should know that the fetus with the unnaturally long spaghetti leg is watching you. Aaaalwaaaays waaaaatching.

That one's not really showing enough skin, though, is it? And don't you think it needs a nice heavy spray tan, too?

Muuuuch better. We'll all be revisiting breakfast in NO time.

 (If you look at that just right, you'll see a jowly guy in an aviator cap whistling Dixie around a mouth full of feet. Just sayin'.)

Hey ladies, you know how sometimes we get that little bead of sweat betwixt our womanly bazooms? And you know how the sight of it on other women make you, like, totally hungry?

Mmmm. Sweaty bazoom valley.

(Also, if that lady is pregnant, then I must be expecting twins.)

If I still haven't convinced you that "sexy" torso cakes are a bad idea, though, then let me leave you with this little window into the future:

Peek-a-boo!  SEE YOU REAL SOON.

Thanks to Cyndi P., Matt R., Anony M., Kate C., Jason S., & Vicki K. for the sexy, sexy nightmare fuel. 

******
You know what's always sexy at a baby shower? Star Wars counting books.

Star Wars Obi-123

Especially this one, illustrated by one of my favorite artists, Katie Cook!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Chasing Shadows, Deja Vu The Third Again The 2nd Once More With Feeling Electric Boogaloo The Two Towers

[alarm clock clicking to 6:00 AM]

[Sonny & Cher caterwauling to I Got You, Babe]

Ok, Campers, rise and shine! 'Cuz it's Groundhog Day!

Or, as Brenda here knows it:

"Groad Hogs Day"

Today is the day that we celebrate the.. day...by having this cheeky little fella:

aka "the guy with the crappy back end":

"Did I do that?"

...drive around town with Bill Murray looking for a weather forecaster who has no shadow. Which I think makes the weather forecaster a vampire.

 Ah, American holidays.

Today is also the day when we find out if winter will end soon or not.

 Hm...

 [clickety click click click]

via weather.com Fifteen years and 12 hours ago

Yeah. Good luck with that, every-state-but-Florida.

So, unless shadowless weather forecasters are run over by rodent and celebrity driven automobiles, I'd say most of you are due to see a lot more of this:

"Squashed octopodes?"

Er, no. I mean this:

"Blue crabs?"

No, no, no!

THIS:

[crickets chirping]

Oh, never mind.

Happy Grounn Dhog Day, y'all.

Thanks to Brenda M., M.Z., Melissa B., Saundra, Karen C., Jamie, & Kevin H., who would like to remind you to never drive angry. Especially with a quadruped. 

See you tomorrow, campers!

Note from john (thoJ): Yes, Groundhog Day was Sunday but what am I gonna do, NOT post this?!

*****

P.S. If by some chance you DON'T have this classic in your film library, I *highly* recommend it. Plus I just discovered it's only $10 Prime right now for the Blu-Ray:

Groundhog Day 15th Anniversary Blu-ray
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: