Bakery Math

One ugly 8-inch round flower cake:

$6.00

Five ugly 8-inch round flower cakes:

$30.00

 

Five ugly 8-inch round flower cakes plopped on

styrofoam and cardboard stands:

$235.00

The look on the bride's face?

Priceless.

There are some things money can't buy...

but a decent wedding cake isn't one of them.

Thanks to Melinda W., Holley W., Kae B., Liz Q., Meghan F., Nikki G., and Lainey M. who thinks we should start investing in styrofoam and cardboard.

*****

P.S. I found something for the bride who wants to wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and something poo:

Unicorn Poop Earrings

Don't stop believing, y'all. Dreams do come true.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wreck-A-Bye Baby

Sometimes I like to think this blog might have a positive influence on current baking trends. (Oh, stop laughing. A girl can dream.) So, what do you say we mosey on over to a few of our nation's baby showers and see how things are going?

Wonderful!

I mean, sure, "beby" is misspelled, and there's a giant funky headboard thing happening, and the doll is staring at me all creepy-like, but the baby itself is not edible. That's progress, people!

Hey, a lot of those letters are right.

In fact - and feel free to correct me here if I'm wrong - I think "cohgrautions" may be the Canadian spelling.

You might be wondering how many tracts of land they had to search to find these two peas in a pod, or why the baker didn't make the "peas" green. That said, it's not a pregnant torso cake.

Plus it makes me want to start singing "Keep Walking" by the French Peas, so that's a "win" all 'round.

This next one may cause a bit of a flap, but I'll have no truck with such negativity:

After all, nothing drives home the beauty of motherhood quite like a pregnant mudflap girl. Eh? Eh? Am I right?

Well, my friends, I think I've made my point: baby shower cakes are getting better! And all because of me! ME, I SAY!! BWAHAHAHAAA!!

AHAHAHAAAHAA!! 

BAHAHAHAA...

...huh?

AAAAAUUUGGHH!!

[blink blink]
 
Well.

Back to business as usual, then? 

Thanks to Sose K., Krista M., Susan M., Bob S., & Carly A. for dashing my dreams. You cruel, cruel wreckporters, you.

******

P.S. Watch me un-creepify this post by going from creepy baby cakes to baby beef cakes:

The Buff Baby Rattle

This is hilarious. And a real thing! Amazon helpfully suggested I pair it with the "Do You Even Lift?" baby onesie and now I wish I had a weightlifting friend with a baby to give this to.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: