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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan172018

Lean On Me

Everybody clap your hands and sway a little, k?

 

Some guys and their wives
See only shame
See only sorrrrrow

 

But if they are wise
they know that wrecks
Are so much more, oh!

 

Lean on me
When you're stacked wrong!

 

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be lo-oo-ong
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're cleeean gone!

 

Please, don't tell the bride
If it's a wreck, it needs no intro

 

For
no one can tell; maybe she'll need
something sweet to throw!

 

Lean on me!
When you're stacked wrong

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be long
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're clean gone!

 

You just call on your mother
When you need a hand

These cakes need somebody to leeeean on!

 

I just might have a Pisa
That we never planned

These cakes need somebody to leeean on!

 

Just faaaalll free!
(If you need to end)
Faaaaallll free
Oh, wreck it, now!

Faa-AAA-aalll
free-ee-eeeeee!!

 

Thanks to Steve, Deanne M., James N., Rachel O., Jessica R., Carol Anne, Kat B., Richard B., Anony M., & Rebecca Z. for the wedding crash course.

[Get it? Instead of 'main course?' Eh? OH C'MON THAT WAS AWESOME.]

*****

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Tuesday
Jan162018

Flakes Welcome

"Hi, I'd like a cake, please, and could you put a 'happy birthday' plaque on it?"

"No, no, I mean one of those plastic things on a spike - you know, a 'happy birthday' pick?"

"Maybe we should start over."

"Could you write, 'Over the Hill' or 'Officially OLD' or something like that? This is for my husband, so it's ok if it's borderline rude."*

"What the...? What is WRONG with you people? Look, my husband usually gets pie for his birthday, so I promised him that THIS year he'd get a REAL birthday cake..."

"I WASN'T FINISHED."

"But wow, you guys are fast."

[rubbing temples] "Look, I give up. Could you just give me a cake - any cake? No writing. Just grab one out of the case and hand it to me. Please."

"Which one? Oh, I don't care...how about the one with the chocolate flakes on it? Yes, that one. Yes, the flake. Thank you."

Oh, like you didn't see THAT coming.

 

*Actual dialogue Angela R. used while ordering this cake.

 

Thanks to Molly S., Savannah W., Angela R., Beth, Lisa H., for always taking things so literally.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.