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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov242016

Fun And Poo-Wangs For The Whole Family!

Happy Thanksgiving, minions!

Since you're probably hanging with family today, I've decided to give you the gift that keeps on giving: Turkey Poo-Wangs.

Lots and lots of Turkey Poo-Wangs.

Ahh, but not just ANY Turkey Poo-Wangs; today I give you Turkey Poo-Wangs that look like your family members.

Was there a lot of stiff competition? Of course. Is this kinda ballsy? Heck yeah. Will there be more phallic jokes? Let's find out.

 

The Angry Poop-Head:

"Why is the rum always gone?!"

 

The "I'm Trying To Watch The Game In Here!"

"Keep it down! I can't hear the score!"

 

The Dazed And Confused:

"WHAT year is it?!"

 

The "Isn't it Wonderful We're All Here Together?"

"Group hug!"

 

The Sarcastic One:

"Sure, Aunt Barb, I'll get riiiight on working on my attitude."

 

The "Please nobody notice I'm a Gingerbread Man."

[uncomfortable, fidgety silence]

 

The Little Prick:

"MOM says I'm special. MOM says I can have all the pie I want. MOO-OOOOM!!"

 

The "Nobody Talk To Me It's Been A Long Day."

"Just... just give him the pie, Barb."

 

The Peace Maker:

"Now, Stu, I'm sure you didn't mean all [REDACTED] are stupid... right?"

 

And finally,

The "Send Help, Or At Least More Pie."

Come one, get a grip, you guys. Day's almost through.

 

Thanks to Vanessa R., Elizabeth F., Jacqueline G., Erin F., Joyce J., Amy W., Subdo, Dimitra, Stephanie B., & Jason L. for recommending we all Wang Chung tonight.

*****

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Wednesday
Nov232016

No Mean Feet

If you want a simple theme for a baby shower, it's hard to go wrong with cute little footprints.

Unless the baker misses the "little" part, of course:

 

 Good grief, MY feet are smaller than that. Are you trying to give the mom-to-be a heart attack, bakers?

 

'Cuz if so, this is also an excellent way to go about it:

"Suddenly Nicola's plans for a natural, drug-free delivery seemed really, really stupid."

And how's the kid even fitting in there, Nicola? Do you have a TARDIS belly? o.0

 

Oh, wait, or maybe the kid is shaped like this:

 On the plus side, he probably won't fall over much.

 

But we were talking about footprints, weren't we?

Which might be what these are supposed to be. Maybe. Allegedly.

 

Hey, ever wanted to see a duck with human feet that only walks backwards?

Well, tough. You're going to see one anyway:

Embrace the insanity. 

And then waddle backwards with it.

 

"Sadly, little Mike's dream of becoming a professional dancer came with a slight disadvantage:"

And here I thought that was just a figure of speech.

 

Of course, the absolute creepiest thing you can do with a footprints shower theme is mistake "footprints" for actual feet:

Somewhere a quartet of elves is literally foot-loose and fancy-free*. 

And probably pissed.

 

*If by "fancy" you mean "feet."

 

Thanks to today's arch-enemies [smirk] Layli S., Arlene P., Linda A., Gianna M., Anony M., Melissa B., & Becca H. for the sole-full feets.

*****

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