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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov092017

The Baby Cake Gets Cut Down To Size

You know how sometimes you see a baby cake that's not too horrendously awful, and your first reaction is something like,

"
Aw, just lookit that face! Who's a cute widdle boopsie woopsie baby? Is it you? Yes, it's you!!"

(Actually, sorry, that's John talking to our cats. My bad.)


Anyway, my point is that while some of these baby cakes might be just the teensiest bit cute, you have to remember one very important thing:

 

It's all fun and games 'til you cut the cake.
Yes, I have an example. Brace yourself.


Here we have the standard old man baby cake:

I say we call him Benjamin. ('Cuz he's cute as a Button!)


[Quick side note: in case you're wondering, as I did, why he's on a food court tray: it turns out that's a new type of cake board popping up in bakeries. Weird, I know. Ok, sorry to interrupt. Let's move on.]

 

And just so you get the full effect:

Just lookit that face!

 

No really, look at it. Aren't you glad the eyes aren't open?

[shiver] Whoah. I just gave myself the willies. (Or should I call them the "bennies?")



Okay. So, über realistic baby. Been there, done that. However, here's where things get...

...cutting.

 

I would insert some side-splitting commentary here about how stabbing someone in the back always gets you the cold shoulder in the end - but as you can see, there's no need. He's already "waist"ing away!


Oh, Oh! Wait! I have one more:

Hey, Benji! You just got served!

 

Bwahahahahahaahaa!

Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.


Anyway, we still haven't gotten to the worst part yet. The worst part actually, literally, in real reality, honestly gave John nightmares. Seriously. So now he won't let me post it here. Instead, I'm going to link to it. But please, all joking aside, choose your clicks wisely. I'm here to make you laugh, not give you nightmares - and this thing puts the "ick" in "squicky."

 

Ok, enough warnings (since I'm sure they're having the opposite affect anyway): Click here to see the final photo. Also there's a video if you're into that kind of thing...

Thanks to Kimberley K., who will never again say to a child, "I could just eat you up!"

*****

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Wednesday
Nov082017

Expect Less. Laugh More.

Have a heart, bakers.


Don't do this:


 

And never promise the bride this:

 

When you're going to deliver this:

 

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.

 

These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.

But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.

 

And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

 

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")

 

 

Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down. 

*****

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