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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Feb192015

We Are All Weiners

We've already had the Golden Globes:

 

...and the People's Choice:

 

So now it's time for the Oscars! Yay!

(Since Oscar grew a nice pair of groobs [grouchy boobs], this will also work for the SAGs.)

 

Check out some of the nominees:

Boyhood:

Thanks, Moomy.

 

The Imitation Game:

What does it all mean?

 

American Sniper:

Because America, that's why.

 

The Theory of Everything:

Stephen Hawking explains how all this stuff can exist on one cake at the same point in time.

 

Whiplash:

I hear it's about a drummer whose instructor is a huge pain in the neck.

 

and

Birdman:

"Gobble gobble, motherf***er."

Sadly there can only be one winner, but remember, guys, it's an honor just to be wreckerated.

 

Thanks to Amanda L., Clairance C., Ingra P., Candy D., Leah McC., Amber G., Christie L., Emily F., Jenn A., Nicole H., Afton N., and Claire O., who all understood that reference.

*****

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Wednesday
Feb182015

Stairway to Heaven

I have to be honest: I've never really understood the whole wedding-cake-plastic-staircase thing. I mean, who first decided the wedding figurines might need to take a stroll down to one of the side cakes?

Not to mention this looks more like a video game level than a wedding cake.

"Ok, what you have to do is, hop over the leaf-shrooms, collect the heart rings, and then duke it out with the Moopa-Moosers down at the bottom. Oh, and watch out for the barrels."

 

Then, after providing this thoughtful pathway, the decorators go and make it completely inaccessible!

How are they supposed to get down there?

 

Or battle their way through all that foliage?

 

Granted, I can't think of a better place to put your plastic deer collection.

 

Of course, it goes without saying that all this extra height means you have to put a clear plastic light-up fountain under the cake. (Don't bother questioning it. You just have to.)

Mmm. Drippy.

 

You know what, though? These cakes still don't have enough going on. What do you say in addition to the stairs, tiers, figurines, and light-up fountain, we cover everything in Louis Vuitton?

Ah, rampant materialism climbs to new heights. I like it.

 

But it's STILL not enough. Can we get a few dozen miniature bridal party dolls, a Barbie cake, a few bolts of tulle, and the Amazon rain forest in here now, guys?

No, no, don't take away the stairs, fountain, or multiple topper figurines; we need those.

***

All set? Alrighty, let's take a look.

YES!! BEHOLD MY CREATION!! AHAHAHAHAHAAA!

 

Hey, Rafael S., Genevieve F., April L., Anony M., Marla B., & Elle J., you must admit: this thing is so gosh-darn tacky it's almost kind of awesome.

Or...not.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.