(Caution- Mildly naughty stuff ahead)
Florida is one of those places where everyone wants to live, but no one wants to admit living. Sure, John and I get all the sunshine, Disney World, and tricked out golf cart parades, but we also have Florida Man.
To show there are no hard feelings, though, allow me to present:
My 6 Favorite Florida Man Headlines of 2014
(courtesy of the top 25 from Mashable)
Florida Man Eats Evidence In Court
("Dang it. Well, I guess now we wait to see if he explodes."
"Move to adjourn, your honor?")
Florida Man Arrested After Stealing 36,000 Pounds Of Crisco
Aha! I knew there was something fishy about the new "Bundt Ball O' 'Better' Cream."
Florida Man Assaults Friend With Bucket During Argument Over Whether Or Not An Acquaintance Was Dead
Florida Man Calls Police After Wife Threw Out His Beer
Florida Man Tells Cops, "I Thought Cocaine Wasn't Illegal"
So I guess that explains this:
As if the floating face on the butt cheek didn't give it away.
(Today I learned "snow" is slang for cocaine! Who's broadening her educational horizons NOW, Mr. High School Guidance Counselor? Huh? HUH?!)
Florida Man Offered $3 And A Chicken Dinner For Sex
Not sure if Florida Man was offered the $3 and a chicken dinner or if he did the offering, but either way, that must have been one SEXY chicken dinner, peeps.
You know, like this:
(No, it's not cake, but when a reader sends you a picture of naked dancing ladies made out of chicken wings, you share.)
Thanks to Ying J., Caitlin R., Nancy M., Melissa S., MJ, Katie P., Josh M., & Florida Man for scaring off enough potential residents to keep I-4 almost manageable.