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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May102012

Just In Time For Mother's Day: 10 Uterus Cakes

This Mother's Day, why not surprise mom with something REALLY surprising?

"It's supposed to be a uterus.

"SURPRISE!!"

 

Yep, what could thrill Momther more than an edible version of the thing you broke on your way out? (Er...sorry again about that, Mom.) And since uteri come in so many flavors (ew), here are nine more "inspirational" uterus cakes to really get those creative juices flowing. (Ewwwwsorry.)

 

Evil jester laughs at your feeble attempts to serve ice cream:

See it? SEE IT??

 

Hunchbacked Basketball Player Can Dribble No Longer:

Aw. Playa' got served.

 

Bullwinkle? Is that you?

Ok, while I agree with Bonnie Burton that everything really is better with googly eyes, I still have to draw the line at making letters out of staples. Yowch.

 

"But, Oh-Cakey-Goddess-of-Most-High-Snark-and-Random-Sprinkles" you're saying, because you're finally using my proper title, "What I REALLY want to see is a tiny cake crawfish inside a cake uterus!"

Well, ok, but only because you asked politely.

What's that? You want two slices? Yeesh. You're so shellfish.

 

Hey, remember that time when Dobby from Harry Potter tried to stifle a really, really big sneeze?

"Accio CHOOIEE!!"

(I know; that was a real "light bulb moment" for me, too.)

 

Gosh, all this pink is getting kind of monotonous, don't you think?

Here, this should help:

And that's how everyone learned that Jeannie was actually born a Smurf.

 

And now, a little "poetry:"

Q: "Why did the lady blush during her sonogram?"

A: "Because she saw a fallopian!"

***

***

Ahem.

 

Some people give their uterus a cute little pet name:

(I'm seeing a cross between a Snork and a Fraggle. Please tell me I'm not the only one.)

Lola? Aw, that's sweet.

I bet Crampy McClots-a-Lot could kick Lola's butt.

 

And finally, the balloon-animal uterus you never knew you needed:

You know, I never thought I'd like a uterus cake, but I've really taken a shine to this one.

 

Thanks to Laura A., Anony M., Erica O., Tanya S., Isabella, Dawn M., Sarah M., Nicki R., Sarah U., & Shelley T. for all the pro-creations.

Wednesday
May092012

Please, Call Me Mom

Bakers, with Mothers' Day coming up this weekend I thought it'd be a good idea to start practicing her name now - you know, just to avoid any repeats of last year's debacles.

Now remember, the traditional favorites are "mom," "mommy," and the more formal but still perfectly acceptable "mother." Of these, I realize that "mommy" is by far the most difficult for you to spell - but don't worry. I have a fool-proof system guaranteed to help:

 

Step 1: Don't spell it like this:

See, you need two "m"s in the middle there.

 

Step 2: Also don't spell it like this:

I said two "m"s, not two "o"s.

Besides, the last thing you want to do when complimenting Mom is evoke bovine imagery. Trust me.

 

Step 3: And don't spell it like this, either:

I know you were thinking about it. Stop that.

 

Step 4: This is RIGHT OUT:

Ladies and gentleman, Phonics has left the building.

 (Update: No, it's not the person's name -  they really asked for "mommy." Really. Yes, really really.)

Step 5: On second thought,  maybe just avoid "mommy" all together.  Stick with "mom" or "mother" instead.

I like it.

Momther's gonna be so proud.

 

 

Thanks to Amanda C.,  Tricia O., Boss B., Angel G., & Matthew M. for the mommy issues.