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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov172009

What's Black & White & Wrecked All Over?

No, not this guy:

Source
"Dude, are those Cheetos?"


See, his stripes actually look like zebra stripes. Which is fortunate, since he is, in fact, a zebra.

Ask for zebra stripes on your cake, however, and there's no telling what you'll get. Maybe Jim's "huuuge pointy teeth!" model:


Or perhaps something that makes you e-mail Christina B. to ask what the heck it's supposed to be, since the pattern has burned out your visual cortex:

(Yes, she really did have to tell me this is the number 30. How embarrassing.)

Then there's Kristen N.'s post-modern, depressed zebra stripes:

(Why depressed? Because it's a little blue, of course.)

And then, the really lucky ones get a little of Beth P.'s airbrush action:

Ah. Such skill. Such attention to detail. Such...airbrushiness.

But the really, really lucky ones get a shell-less albino turtle covered in gills:

Ha! Just kidding! Those stripes are way too good.

Kayla U., maybe your baker was trying to make the majestic zebra turtle. Eh?

- Related Wreckage: Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

Monday
Nov162009

Foiled Foliage

"Hello, Miss? I wish to make a complaint about this cake I purchased not half an hour ago from this very bakery."

[looking cake over] "Oh, yes, that's our Norwegian Leaves design. What's wrong with it?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it: these are real leaves, that's what's wrong with it."


"No, of course not! Those are just icing. Look!" [shuffling leaves]

"Look, Miss, I know real dead leaves when I see them, and I'm looking at some right now."

"No, they're icing. Remarkable leaves, the Norwegian ones, aren't they? Beautiful foliage."

"The foliage don't enter into it! You put real leaves on my cake!"

"No, they're not real, they're just shining in accords."

"Shining in accords? What does that even mean?"

"I dunno; I'm just trying to stick to this Monty Python sketch as closely as possible."

Emily E., it's like a pun. Or a, what you call it, palindrome. Yeah.

NOTE: Yes, folks, they really are real leaves. Kinda gives a new meaning to "all natural ingredients," doesn't it?

- Related Wreckage: The Word "Holy" DID Come to Mind...