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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar192012

Another Open Apology to Canada

So last week we had this troll in the comment section who wouldn't go away, forcing me to actually block someone for the first time ever.

(For those who don't know: a "troll" is someone who leaves inflammatory comments just to get a rise out of people. Things like, "Hitler rocked!" or "Grammer is stoopid" or "That poo pile looks scrumptious!")

NOT SCRUMPTIOUS.

So anyway, while I was in the process of blocking the troll, I kinda sorta accidentally blocked most of Canada.

The country.

Bwoops. 

In this context "shool" is Canada. Try to keep up.

Fortunately I noticed my mistake right away... a couple of days later.

 

But all is fixed now and I feel terrible about it so today's post is for you, Canada. Because we love you. And we love beaver tails. And poutine. And learning that pronouncing "poutine" like "poo-TAN" can get you in a lot of trouble. ("Excuse me, do you know where I can get some fresh poo-tan? Miss? What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? And what's the pepper spray foOWWWAAUUUGGHHH!!")

(Really, Canada, whoever named your signature foods had their minds seriously close to the gutter.)

Now, where were we?

Oh, right: apologizing.

HIT IT, NON-EXISTENT BOYS!

[tapping mike]
[queuing up a sultry beat]
[giving thumbs up to well-dressed backup singers]
[clearing luscious Barry White voice]

 

Ooooohoohoo!
Canada, baaaaby...
I'm sorry, girl...

Well-dressed back up singers: "Heeeeee's reallyreallysorry SHOOP SHOOP!"

 

I'm sorry for, like, taking away your Cake Wrecks for two full days, baby.

"Neeeearly forty-eight hours SHOOP SHOOP!"

 

I know I work on a computer all day, girl, but sometimes even an expert can make a mistake.

"Heeeee's an expert in cat .gifs SHOOP SHOOP!"

 

But I know you put your trust in me, girl, and I know I can't give you all those hours back.

"Yooooouuu pro'ly got lots of work done SHOOP SHOOP!"

 

But if you give me another chance, Canada, girl, I promise I will wreck your world. Yeah. 'Cuz, Canada, baby?

(You may think it's a lie, but it's not.)

 

Thanks to Ted S., Allison S., Michelle M., Sara B., Ree P., Anony M., & Whitney B. for backing me up on this one. That synchronized snapping was STELLAR, you guys.

Sunday
Mar182012

Sunday Sweets: Play With Your Food!

I'm sure this will come as a complete shock to those of you who've just found this blog for the first time ever, but if there's one thing I love more than a geeky game-themed wedding, it's a geeky game-themed wedding cake.

BEHOLD!

Submitted by Lee F. & made by Cake Freak. Pics by Whitney Lee Photography

A Scribblenauts wedding cake? Complete with cameos by Super Mario and Donatello from TMNT? BE STILL MY 90's-LOVING HEART.

 

And speaking of Mario, you just can't get more classic than the diminutive plumber with his Princess Bride Peach:

Made by Amber C.; Photo by Marah Grant Photography

Wuv. Twuu Wuv...

 

Or, if you want to go really old school, you could always have a Space Invaders groom's cake:

Sub'd by Stephen J. & made by Premier Pastry

It looks like those side invaders were made using the run-out, or flooding, technique, which is both time-consuming and extremely fragile. Color me impressed.

 

Not a wedding cake, but this is one of the best Angry Birds cakes I've seen in ages:

By Juicy Desserts

You can almost hear the high-pitched battle cries of the little blue birds, can't you? Echoing off the walls of your bathroom? It's ok, fellow addicts: you can admit it. (And you might as well, since that music is so loud you're not fooling anyone, John.)

 

And speaking of addiction... how about a World of Warcraft groom's cake?

By Cup a Dee Cakes

Now *that* is using photo paper right. Bakers, take a note.

 

I've yet to play Katamari Damacy, the game where you roll a ball around that makes everything - including people and buildings and such - stick to it, but I do love this custom wedding topper:

By Lauren U.

The bride and groom are stuck to the rolly ball! Ha! It doesn't hurt that the cake is seriously cute, too.

 

Ok, time to fess up to another of my addictions:

Cake.

BWAHAHAHAA!

Just kidding.*

(*I'm not kidding.)

Yeah, you could say the cake was a lie.

Kind of like this awesome-beyond-words dummy cake...

Submitted by Noelle R. and made by Melissa

Which lifts up to reveal...

Wheatley!

Now, ok, granted, we've seen better personality cores here on Sweets, but seriously, can you beat that presentation? I THINK NOT.

(For those of you completely lost right now, I have one word for you: PORTAL: GO PLAY IT.)

(Ok, that was four words. Whatever. I did it for science.)

I'm also seriously considering making a Portal dummy cake, just so I can hide things under it that I will dramatically reveal when we have company over, accompanied by a booming, "THE CAKE WAS A LIE, YOU FOOLS!!" because I guess now I'm channeling a little Cobra Commander, too. Huh.

Moving on.

It never fails to astound me just how difficult the seemingly-easy-to-replicate LEGO is to create in cake. Seriously. Bakers just can't seem to crack the code of straight edges and proportional pips*. Which is why I may have whisper-shouted, "YES! FINALLY!!" when I saw this cake:

Submitted by Rebecca K. and made by Roy's Bakery

Perfection.

(*"Proportional Pips" is the name of my Rockettes cover band. And don't tell me the Rockettes aren't actually a band, because that joke was awesome.)

 

And now I shall segue from a cake LEGO to a cake *made* of cake LEGO:

Submitted by JC R. and made by Sometimes I Bake

I know: totally meta.

And I love the little guy on the side installing the polka dots.

I'd also like to point out that this, like many of our Sweets, was made by a hobby baker. So take heart, cake lovers! It CAN be done!

 

And finally, let's wrap up the geekiness with another classic character wedding cake:

By Little Cherry Cake Company

LINK!!

Ok, so this is actually themed to a newer installment of Zelda called The Wind Waker, but still. Just look at the water ripples around the little fish on the cake board. LOOK AT THEM. And the teensy flowers! And the adorable Link & Zelda topper! Game on, people. GAME ON.

 

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.