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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec132012

Hanukkah Blues

Usually around this time of year someone will always say to me, "Hey, you can't do that here!"

So then I put my pants on and take my carton of eggnog back home, where I find people are asking why I haven't posted any Hanukkah cakes yet.

The reasons are simple, my dear wreckies: Firstly, bakers don't make many Chanukah cakes to begin with. And secondly, see reason number one.

But really, who can blame them? Do you KNOW how hard it is to spell Hannukah? I mean, correctly?

 

IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

 

And then there are those mind-bendingly complicated Stars of David. They have six points, you guys. SIX! Pre-school did not prepare us for these kinds of manual dexterity challenges, ok? It's not like you can just draw a regular five-pointed star and then stick an extra point on it!

(Oh, wait, you can?)

 (My bad.)

 

Even the Dreidel, that spinning top thing that's ALSO impossible to spell, to the point that my spell check is telling me I'm an illiterate doofus for thinking it's spelled that way, and SURELY I mean "Deirdre" instead, but I googled it, spell check, AND I AM TOTALLY RIGHT, so stop pushing this Deirdre chick on me, because I am out of eggnog, and I am not in the mood!

 [panting]

[sitting back down]

[smoothing hair] 


Where was I?

And what is pyramid-head Mr. Bill doing here?

Or is that a house with a giant electrical outlet on it?

 

 Well, whichever, you can rest easy, my dear Chanooka celebrants, knowing you'll always have the classic, elegant option of a blue-and-white-snowflake cake for your festivities:

Or a frozen sanitary pad with wings. 

 

Thanks to Ali A., Elizabeth C., Tom F., & Jamie for helping put the "huh?" back in Hannukhuh.

Wednesday
Dec122012

Coked Up Santa Gets Canned

Hey, remember how Coca Cola used to have cocaine in it? 

I only ask because, you know, reasons.

 

 

Thanks to Katie F. for finding a bakery that finally puts its employees' caffeine addiction to questionable use.