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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Oct102009

Happy National Cake Decorating Day!

Ok, yes, there really is a holiday for everything - but that's not the point.

The point, my fellow cake lovers, is that today is an excellent day to consider taking up a new hobby.

I'm talking, of course, about miniature railroad building.

Or, failing that, I suppose you could try cake decorating:

Now, I know what you're thinking. "John," you're thinking - although you're mistaken, because this is actually Jen typing - "John, how can I, a mere mortal, achieve the unspeakable grace and beauty displayed on this delectable-looking delight?"

(Admit it: that's what you were thinking, wasn't it? Dang, I'm good.)

Well, have no fear! When it comes to cake decorating, there's really nothing to it.

What, you don't believe me? Bwa. Aha. Hah. [<-- cheerful chortling] Perhaps some illustrations of paid-for, professional examples might help?

First, the basics. All you need is 1) some icing, and 2) a large plastic toy.

Feeling more confident now?

Or, if you really want to have some fun, get yourself a food grade airbrush. Oh, the fun you can have with that!

As an added bonus: no piping needed! Just spray on some random patterns, and you'll have a cakey creation to rival any "professional" in no time!


Of course, if you really want to break out the piping bags, don't feel like a recognizable pattern is necessary:

'Cuz it's not.
(Also, changing tips is for sissies. Just sayin'.)

Once you've mastered these few simple skills, you'll be able to create cakes guaranteed to make your friends sit up and take notice. Like this:

(Centering is also for sissies.)

Or this:

Drink it in; this could be your work someday.

That's right, aspiring artists: work hard, dream big, and some day you might achieve the ultimate of cake decorating feats: the wedding cake.

Dare to dream big.

Thanks to Wreckporters Michael, Melissa, Casey R., Kate R., Trisha W., Kenny K., Lydia D., & Jessica E. for today's "inspirations."

- Related Wreckage: Love is in the Air

Friday
Oct092009

Putting Their Best Feet Forward

Ok, this is going to be toe-tally corny, but I'm doing it solely for the laughs.

Ready?

[pregnant pause]

Ta Da!

I get the impression you'd have to be a real heel to belly up to this baby shower cake. Eh?

Yep, the belly cakes just keep getting better and better, folks. I mean, sure, the headless, limbless preggo torso was undeniably appetizing for a while, but it's nice to see bakers reproducing some with a bit more kick, don't you think?

Er...Either this baby is reeeally flexible, or she's going to need some corrective shoes later in life.

So, today: fetal feet.

Tomorrow: fetal faces?

Ahh, we can only hope.

MK & Rose S., these babies really stomp out the competition, don't they?

- Related Wreckage: Return of the Belly Cake