My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Let's Talk Turkey

Tur-key (noun)

1. A large game bird native to North America, having a bald head and (in the males) a red wattle.

2. Something that is extremely or completely unsuccessful.



It's a turkey.


I have to admit I get a pleasant buzz of nostalgia this time of year, though, when all the same turkey wrecks show up again at our nation's bakeries. They're kind of like relatives: consistent, dependable, and unavoidable no matter how hard you try to convince them to take the holidays off and just take a trip to the Bahamas for once. GEEZ.


And look, the gang's all here!  I'm sure you all remember Electrified Turkey:


 And Roadkill Turkey:

The squiggly tire tracks are a nice touch.


Then there's the NBC Peacock Turkey:


 The Flaming Football Turkey:


And a personal favorite, the "Please-don't-kill-me-I'm-just-a-wee-little-bird-stuck-in-the-side-of-a-taco" Turkey:


Silly old bird.


But just like these cakes themselves, we can always depend on bakers to prove that if there's one thing more disturbing than a turkey cake...

 It's a cooked turkey cake.



Thanks to Julie P., Jenniffer P., Angelica W., Ashley K., Annie L., Andrew B., & Allison M., who I just realized all have names that start with either A or J. IT'S A PRE-THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!


Er Mah Gourd!

Eek! I forgot to mention yesterday what is possibly the most popular indicator of Fall - you know, the one you see in every coffee shop, restaurant, and bakery across the nation.

Yep, I'm talking about that ubiquitous Fall flavor:


...Poop brûlée


Kidding, kidding. We all know the actual flavor of Fall is pumpkin:

...with poop on top.


Or on the side!


Or just washed down the edges.


Or whatever is happening here.


And when bakers aren't grossing us out with log-a-riffic "stem" action on their pumpkin cakes, they're busy gleefully spitting in the eye of Mother Nature:

I can just imagine them dramatically twirling their mustachios now:

 "Take THAT, nature, with your natural shapes, and your natural colors, and your sickening lack of spikes and crappy silly string. HA. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAA!!"


 "Oh, and I always wanted my pumpkins to have a sphincter, so there."


Now, you might be questioning whether that is actually supposed to be a pumpkin.


Lest she speak of herself in the third person.

And second of all, of COURSE it's a pumpkin.

Can't you see that it's orange? And green? And brown? 




Well, don't you worry; the turkey cakes are coming.


Thanks to Carol W., Rheanne K., Dawn R., Brady, Julie P., Holley R., Jessica S., & Lisa S. for the excuse to type the following: Ermahgourd! Permpkins!