True Colors

You with the baaad eyes

Don't be discouraged!

Oh I realize

It's hard to read orders

In a shop full of people

Who drive you up a wall

And the bakers beside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your TRUE COLORS

Writing through!

I see your TRUE COLORS

'Cuz that's how I write, too!

So DON'T BE AFRAID!

To let them flow

Your true colors

True colors are literal

Like a "stilleto"

[ALL TOGETHER NOW!]

And I'll see your TRUE COLORS

Causing "boo"s!

I see your TRUE COLORS

But don't let that stop you!

So don't be afraid!

To let them flow

Your true colors

True colors are "beautiful,"

Like this raaaainbow:

A big "thank you in puce" to Andrea P. Mark A., Caylin C., Darnie S., Lezlie S., Paula P., Andrea H., Christine F., & Lacey for today's colorful characters.

It's A Tough Job But Someone's Gotta Blow It

WARNING: In-your-end-o jokes ahead. Hide the kids!

*****

John: "Hey, we had a few complaints about that baby shower cake, so let's steer clear of anything too off-color today, ok?"

Jen: "Noooo problem. I have the perfect ON color cake we can use."

John: "Yeah?"

Jen: "Yep. I call it, 'TASTE THE RAINBOW.'"

John: "NO. Definitely no."

Jen: "What, you don't like it?
"Then how about 'Rubber Baby Buggy Balls'?"

"See, you can already tell it's a boy!"

John: "Why does the stroller have... ?! Never mind. No."

Jen: "Tiger Beat?"

John: "You're killing me here.

"Can't you just post some wrecky flowers or something? Please?"

Jen: "Flowers? ON IT."

[five minutes later]

"Got one! This baker says her co-worker made a border of 'exotic flowers.' You like?

"I think I'll call it, 'Ring Around the Posy Peens.'"

John: [silent glare]

"The Pollenators?"

[...]

"Petal Pushers?"

[...]

"Sticky Stamens?"

[...]

"Calla Willies?"

[...]

"One-Eyed Snapdragons?"

[...]

"Penis Flytraps?"

John: "You're answering tomorrow's e-mail."

Thanks to Jody M., Amber G., Ashley, & Anony M. for helping us find the rainbow... erection.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift that doesn't involve X-rated flowers? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet of perfectly safe-for-work flowers:

Fresh Cut Paper Pop-Up Flowers

Although if you want to call that center one a Calla Willy, I won't stop you.

And you can stock up with the three-pack!

There are more flower styles and colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: