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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec012010

Wreck and Roll

Ever thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to have all of your favorite 80s hits in one place? That there was simply NO WAY to hear all of the hottest artists together in one jam-packed jam session? That you could ever only enjoy that much music in some magical world, where thousands of songs could easily fit on a lightweight portable device? Well, you're right. (That would be CRAZY.) So until then, we're offering you the musical deal of a lifetime!!

That's right, with the "Wreckin' Rock Power Mix," you'll never miss a beat. This colossal power-collection comes delivered to your doorstep in 6 dominating power-boxes of 23 LPs or 39 power cassette tapes. That's 846 power-hits!

We'll include the tastiest of licks, like:

 

"Writing on Sunshine"

 

"I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! And I bet it tastes good! HeH! Alright now!"


"Love is a Battlefield"

 

"We are strong! No one can tell us pink's wrong!"

 

 

"Dancing on the Ceiling"

 

"Ooh, what a feeling! When you're dancing on the... seriously, did you notice that this cake was written on upside-down? Really... look at it again."

 

"Hungry Like the Wolf"

 

"Lost in the bakery, too pink to hide. I'll cause a toothache right when you take a bite.
Do do dooo do do doo do do doo do do doo do dooo dooooooo."

 

 

"She Blinded Me With Science"

 

"She blinded me with science (SCIENCE!) and failed me in the bakery."

 

 

"Tainted Love"

 

"Sometimes I feel I've got to uhn uhn run away. I've got to uhn uhn get away from all the cupcake cakes you sell to me..."

 

 

"Let's Get Physical"

 

"Crack that whip!"


...and more! You'll never find a more rocktastic compilation of all of the best artists from yesterday and beyond. And if you call now, we'll also include a FREE bonus 8-track cassette of all of the best songs from the 70s! These songs will blast your earholes into another sound dimension!!

 

 

"Lean on Me"

 

"Lean on me... when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you caaarry severaltiersofcakeandfrosting. Andpossiblysomeprincessflotsam!"

 

 

"I Melt With You"

 

"I'll stop the world and melt this food. You've seen the Cake Wrecks, and they're getting better all the time."

 

 

and "Crocodile Rock."

 

"I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzy had so much... DEAR GOD, what IS that thing!?? AAAAAAAgggGHGHH! EEeeeAAAAGHHH!!"

 

 

Call now!

 

Other artists include Emily W., Cassandra B., and Becky W. in the hot 80s trio "The Wreckinettes." Bonus tracks by Susan A., Megan P., Sarah A., and Annie H. from the popular ballad band "Susan and The Wreckies." And of course, no compilation album would be complete without the greatest hits of top rocker hair band, "Possum Wreck Slashers," with vocal styling from Jessica E., Amanda H., and Rachel C. Rock on!!

Tuesday
Nov302010

Teaming With Wreckage

The only thing I know about sports is that hitting the man in black over the head with a rock is NOT very sportsmanlike. Still, even *I* can see something's off with these sports team cakes.


I mean, c'mon, who takes a lovely sunburned R.O.U.S. like this:




...and turns it into Disney's Mushu, twisted up like a pretzel?


P.S. For you non-Disney folk, this is Mushu:

This next one is much better, though:

Bwahahaha!!

Yes, I lied. Get used to disappointment.

How about a simple star?


Think it'll work?

Correct answer: "It would take a miracle."

At this point it's just morbid curiosity keeping you going, isn't it? [nodding] Yeah. I'm right there with ya.


[blinking] Hoo boy. Anyone else have a bad feeling about this?

Oh. Well, I guess it could be worse..

It's worse, it's worse!

Hey, you know those videos online where you see the freight train headed for the tanker truck full of gasoline, and part of you is cringing and thinking what a horrible tragedy is about to occur, and the other part is all, "Oh man, this is gonna be GOOD!"

Well, allow me to introduce a tanker truck full of gasoline:



Now, heeeere comes the freight traaaaaiiiin!! (Choo choo!)

KERBLOOOIEEE!!!



Thanks to today's Wreckporters Steve R., Rebecca W., Tug T., Valerie, & Stephanie, who would never get involved in a land war in Asia.