Lean On Me

Everybody clap your hands and sway a little, k?

 

Some guys and their wives
See only shame
See only sorrrrrow

 

But if they are wise
they know that wrecks
Are so much more, oh!

 

Lean on me
When you're stacked wrong!

 

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be lo-oo-ong
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're cleeean gone!

 

Please, don't tell the bride
If it's a wreck, it needs no intro

 

For
no one can tell; maybe she'll need
something sweet to throw!

 

Lean on me!
When you're stacked wrong

And I'll be your end
I'll mock you WITH this song

 

For
It won't be long
Until gravity

Makes sure that you're clean gone!

 

You just call on your mother
When you need a hand

These cakes need somebody to leeeean on!

 

I just might have a Pisa
That we never planned

These cakes need somebody to leeean on!

 

Just faaaalll free!
(If you need to end)
Faaaaallll free
Oh, wreck it, now!

Faa-AAA-aalll
free-ee-eeeeee!!

 

Thanks to Steve, Deanne M., James N., Rachel O., Jessica R., Carol Anne, Kat B., Richard B., Anony M., & Rebecca Z. for the wedding crash course.

[Get it? Instead of 'main course?' Eh? OH C'MON THAT WAS AWESOME.]

*****

P.S. Anyone want to bring vintage style pins back? Because this entire set of 7 lovelies is only $12:

7 Pc Women's Brooch Set

OooOOOooh. I think the owl is my favorite. And the peacock. And the dragonfly.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!

 

And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

 

Of course, mom also did her part:

Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!

 

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.

 

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

 

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

 

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!

AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

 

Yep, I'm changed for life.

 

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

*****

This book has over 2,000 5-star reviews and looks absolutely hysterical, definitely bookmark it for the new parents in your life: