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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec202011

This Is Why You Always Knock

Remember that time when you were six and you accidentally opened the bathroom door without knocking first and then you saw your grandmother naked and there was lots of screaming and then you whimpered yourself to sleep for the next few weeks?

 

This is kind of like that.

Now I know what you're thinking: "That looks a little like 'Merry Ghristmas.'"

You're right, and we've trained you well.

However.

There are a few other things worth noting:

Like the empty bottle of XXX booze.

Or the little sack of "toys."

Or Santa rubbing Rudolph's hoof.

Or Rudolph splayed drunkenly across the bed with a towel covering his twigs and berries. His bells and clapper. His partridge in a pear tree? His one horse open sleigh. His...ok, you get the idea.

Or - in case you missed it - Santa rubbing Rudolph's hoof.

Or the fact that Rudolph CLEARLY had a cigarette in his mouth that has since been removed.

 

Now, originally John and I tried to write some dialogue for this scene, but then the word "coitus" came up and I knew we just couldn't do it, so to speak. So I leave it to you, my sweet, snarky wrecktators: Write us your best caption for this scene and we'll send our top three favorites a signed copy of Wreck The Halls for Christmas. Good luck, and do try to keep it "clean." ;)

 

Thanks to Lisa D., who will never be able to look my grandmother Santa in the eye again.

Update!  After reading through more than 500 comments, I am now thoroughly uncomfortable.  And I think I need a shower.  Here are the winners:

 

"And that was when Santa realized that he should probably stop taking his work home with him."
-elliespen 

"Santa's 2012 presidential hopes dashed as secret 'reindeer games' are uncovered. 'It was all consensual,' claims Santa."
-Missy

"Um, Santa? I fly everywhere. So I'm thinking this hoof rubbing is more for your enjoyment than mine?"
-Donia 

Congrats to our winners and thanks for playing!

Monday
Dec192011

La La Land

WRECK the halls with cows of folly

Fa la la la laa, la la moo moo

 

'Tis the season to be sorry

Fa la la la laa, la la boo hoo

 

Con we now our client Darryl

Fa la laa, la la laa, it comes that waaay!

 

Troll the surly in-law, Carol

Fa la la la laaa, la la cheapskate

 

SEE the blazing cheeks before us

Fa la la la laaaaa, la UN-I-BROW

 

Join the creepy penguin chorus

Fa la la la laaa....

"We're on a mission from God."

LA LA LA LAAA!!

 

Thanks to Elizabeth S., Erin L., Gene H., Jami K., Ted S., & Tiffany F. for reminding everyone it's not too late to get your copy of Wreck the Halls for Christmas. Aw, you guys are the BEST.


P.S. Did you donate your dollar today?