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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr212009

Belly Cakes, Continued

I believe I ended yesterday by saying that belly cakes were in dire need of some serious sex appeal. Well fortunately, a couple of Anony Mice have come to the rescue. Now then, I'll just cue up some sexy saxophone "Muzak" for atmosphere...

[Accordion instrumental of the "Chicken Dance" begins to play]

Whoops! Haha! Sorry - wrong CD. [fumbling with disks]

[Sax rendition of "Whole New World" begins]

Theeere we go. Much better. Ok. Y'all ready?

Ta Da!

Or should I say "Ta Ta?" [wicked grin]

Something about this brings the image of Han Solo frozen in carbonite to mind. But hey, killer nips!

Still, it's just not sexy enough, you know? I mean, it still has some clothes on.

Enter the "Sexy Suds" belly cake!

This clean bit of fun was submitted by the baker herself, although she asked to remain anonymous. And hey, it IS a beautifully done cake - it's just also a pregnant torso wearing nothing but bubbles. (Woo woo woo!)

But you wanna know the best part? Anony writes:

"The highlight was that the belly was filled with custard and with a tacky little plastic baby inside. When the Mom-to-be cut into the cake she had to use forceps (kitchen-tongs) to remove the plastic baby. Honestly, it was VERY funny at the time."

Oh I believe you, my friend - I do. Just remember: It's all fun and games 'til it ends up on Cake Wrecks*. Or 'til mom-to-be's in in the delivery room talking smack and brandishing a pair of kitchen tongs. One of the two, anyway. ;)

*I admit it: This is a shameless plug to sell more CW aprons.

Monday
Apr202009

Return of the Belly Cake

So tell me, how long's it been since you stared at a pregnant woman's naked belly?

Wow, that long? Well, have no fear! As long as belly cakes are made, I promise to never let you forget what a pregnant woman's torso looks like. Or at least a fondant-covered version of one, anyway. Consider it my personal Cake Wrecks guarantee to you.

You're welcome.

Now, you would be forgiven for seeing a bald Ziggy doll in a bib here at first. (I know I sure did.) After all, I don't think I've ever featured a belly cake with the oh-so-authentic "belly line" before.

Speaking of which: When I first saw this cake I had no idea what that line was or why it was there, since I've never been pregnant. So I mentioned it to a then-pregnant friend. My friend was quite helpful and, despite my protests, insisted on whipping up her dress to show me the line on her own belly. Which was...unexpected. Kelly R., I have you to thank for that bit of enlightenment. So thanks. Really.

I used to think that part of the belly cake's creepiness was due to its having no head. Then Melody W. sent this in:


And I totally changed my mind.

By the way, I've never seen a belly button look quite so much like a...well... belly button before. It totally looks like a tufted pillow. Or maybe the end of a giant hot dog. [head tilt] Ok, yeah: let's stick with "pillow."

You know what these belly cakes are missing, though? No, no, besides that. Sex appeal, that's what. Totally. Tune in tomorrow for a few spicy numbers that you are sure to remember far, far into the future. Like, deathbed future, even. (I'm trying to ramp up your sense of anticipation. Is it working?)