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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep142012

The Best Return For Your Money

Spacing: The FINAL frontier.

 
These are the travesties of the bakers-who-don't-plan-ahead-well.


Plus the ones who like to center-justify their text so each line only has four letters each, because, yeah, THAT makes sense.

(Great. Now I really want there to be a band named the Cong Rats.)


Or how about just three letters each?

 Que?

 

I know how those long words can sneak up on you, bakers, but the important thing is to make sure everything is legible and spelled correctly:

Oooh, so close.

 

Less close.

 

You're kidding, right?

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??

 Ahem.

Then there are the bakers who get their spacing right, but throw in a dash anyway:

Dash it all!

And, uh, this person:

Oooh, if only there'd been more space for the baker to work with!

 

 And finally, there are the bakers who are just batpoop insane:

Forget the writing - I want to know what that drippy brown spot is.

Or...do I?

o.0


Thanks to Krissy K., 

Christine D., 

Justine J., 

 

Chris & Jessica, 

Deborah B., Carl J., Marina C., Angela W., Bronwyn G., & Angie W. for really exploring the
bakery space.

Thursday
Sep132012

Are You Kidding Me?

Happy "Kids Take Over The Kitchen" Day, everyone!

In honor of this happy occasion I'd like to take a moment to salute all the bakeries out there who've chosen to celebrate in the most literal of fashions.

 

Sure, it seems a little unorthodox, but I think inviting children between the ages of 4 and 9 to take up your piping bags for an entire day - and in a professional bakery, no less - is inspiring. Brave, even!

Granted, it's also unsanitary and possibly illegal, but hey, let's focus on the positive here.

 

For example, would you believe most customers never even noticed the swap?

 When asked if she knew a child of seven had made her cake that day, one shopper at a local Tierful Tasties responded, "You mean he doesn't always make the cakes here? Seriously? Ok, now I'm really confused."

 

Others praised the improved artwork and spelling, noting how much better the quality of goods was:

 

For their part, the kids took to their new decorating duties with a zeal, creating everything from charmingly drawn houses...

 

...to "balloons"...

 

...to Justin Bieber cakes.

 Lots and LOTS of Justin Bieber cakes.

 

What no one could have predicted, of course, was that the combination of kids and an unlimited supply of sugar would result in a few... er...unfortunate incidents.

 

Some bakeries lost an entire month's worth of sprinkles in just a few hours...

...while others are already hiring professional cleaning crews for the walls and ceilings.

 A small price to pay, however, for work of this caliber.

 In fact, bakers tell me nothing the children created was deemed "unsellable," and absolutely everything made it to store shelves as-is. Amazing!

 

One bakery even went so far as to use this child's "electric razor or possibly a dress surrounded by earth worms" cake in their front display window:

 

 While others encouraged the kids to put their finger-painting skills to good use: 

 

Or dabble in the more abstract art of, and I quote, "My Little Pony Poop:"

 

Best of all, a few kids even tried to write on their cakes, which I think we can all agree is freaking ADORABLE.

Can't you just imagine a little six-year-old with his chubby little fingers wrapped around a piping bag, tongue sticking out in concentration? Right? Seriously, I'm tearing up over here, it's just so darn cute.

 So thank you, bakeries, for making today special the best way possible, and also for making my job of making it look like you employ five-year-olds so stinking easy. 


Also thanks to Amanda M., Celia B., Marissa M., Jessica F., Anony M., Manda, Kendell J., Rachel S., Kris D., Mariah H., Anne L., Emily F., & Bridgette O. for kidding around with us. Give your inner child a lollipop for me, guys.