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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
May092012

Please, Call Me Mom

Bakers, with Mothers' Day coming up this weekend I thought it'd be a good idea to start practicing her name now - you know, just to avoid any repeats of last year's debacles.

Now remember, the traditional favorites are "mom," "mommy," and the more formal but still perfectly acceptable "mother." Of these, I realize that "mommy" is by far the most difficult for you to spell - but don't worry. I have a fool-proof system guaranteed to help:

 

Step 1: Don't spell it like this:

See, you need two "m"s in the middle there.

 

Step 2: Also don't spell it like this:

I said two "m"s, not two "o"s.

Besides, the last thing you want to do when complimenting Mom is evoke bovine imagery. Trust me.

 

Step 3: And don't spell it like this, either:

I know you were thinking about it. Stop that.

 

Step 4: This is RIGHT OUT:

Ladies and gentleman, Phonics has left the building.

 (Update: No, it's not the person's name -  they really asked for "mommy." Really. Yes, really really.)

Step 5: On second thought,  maybe just avoid "mommy" all together.  Stick with "mom" or "mother" instead.

I like it.

Momther's gonna be so proud.

 

 

Thanks to Amanda C.,  Tricia O., Boss B., Angel G., & Matthew M. for the mommy issues.

Tuesday
May082012

Hey, Teachers! "THANX."

It's Teacher Appreciation Day!

So if you're reading this right now, you should thank a teacher.  

 

And if you're not reading this right now, then your eyebrows are asymmetrical and you smell like cheese. HA. BURN.

See why you need to learn to read, kids? That's right: so you know when random strangers on the Internet are insulting you. Which is always. But reading will give you the specifics.

Ok, now that I'm done with my inspirational pep talk, let's get down to this "thanking" business.

 

[looking over glasses]

[adopting scholarly tone]

[consulting note cards]

 

As a society, we owe our teachers, like, a LOT. (Not an alot, mind you, but a LOT.) 

 After all, without teachers, who would instruct us in our letters and numbers?  

[starting slideshow]

 

 

Or in proper grammar?

 

Or reading comprehension?

 And then write something witty.

 

We also can't forget proper penmanship:


And, of course, the arts:

 

 ACK! Um...sorry, wrong slide. How did that get in there? Heheh. Whoopsie! 

We must never speak of this again.

 

Moving on... (no pun intended)( 'cuz I'm just that good)...Where was I? 

Oh, right.

The arts:

Curse you, budget cuts. CURSE YOU.

 

So today, I want you all to:

 

By offering a hearty:

 

Because:

 Um...what the cake said.

 

Thanks to Robert L., Brooke M.,  Gerta B., Chana L., Nanak B., Kelly H., Brooke B., Mindy W., Amy S., and teachers everywhere for the education.