Penal Code Violations

NOTE: These cakes may have been meant for children, but the commentary is not. Double entendres ahead!

Do you ever get the feeling that certain bakers are up to some...er...monkey business?

I think this monkey lacks a certain...appeal.

I mean, maybe it's just me, but it seems like some of today's wreckerators are getting downright...

...nutty.

(I had two different readers send in two different pictures of this cookie cake, btw. See?)

There's something kind of awesome about having a pair of photos of a pair of...um...pink blobby things.

(Swinging plums? Low riders? Crown jewels? Man tonsils? Pant Potatoes? Scroto Baggins? Ok, internet, you've earned your keep tonight.)

Oh, and I *think* they were going for a heart. Maybe. And before you ask, no, the baker should not be sacked, because this is far too entertaining.

I'm sure some of you may think I'm being unfair. Well, not to worry, wreckerators; you'll get your day in court.

Just no dribbling, please.

There's a certain bakery chain (which shall continue to Remain Nameless) that has a rather curious carrot cake design. It looks like this:

You guys have sent me a bunch of examples, so I can assure you: this really is how the cake comes:

So my question is this: if we all sat around discussing the failings of this particular design, would that make it a circle jerk?

[Bah-dum-BAH!]

And while I'm being inquisitive, bakers, I've got to ask: do your wrecks ALWAYS have to look like dongs?

o.0

Ok, never mind.
Please bring the ding dongs back.

Thanks to Carrie C., Beth M., Rachael, Becca S., Nick D., Michelle W., & Richard for enabling me to make it four whole days into the new year before making a wiener joke. NEW RECORD!

*****

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The Last Effs Given

There's nothing more dismal than the first day back to work after a holiday. You're tired, you're possibly hung-over, you're definitely not ready to be wearing pants and/or a bra again, but here you are, expected to pick up like it's a regular ol' Tuesday. BAH.

Bakers are no less susceptible to the First-Day-Back blues, but I will say theirs is SLIGHTLY more obvious.

Gee, you shouldn't have.

Ready, set...

BLEH.

When you can't be bothered to find the spatula:

I just hope she wore gloves.

Andy's big 30th birthday bash is about. to get. EPIC.

...ally bad.

It was a drive-by splooging!

Or maybe a "stand-over-and-sway-drunkenly" splooging.

You know it's gone wrong when they bring in the big plastic butterfly.

Big plastic butterfly fixes everything.

Took me WAY too long to figure out what this icing says:

I won't spoil it for you. Just squint a little - you'll get it.

And my favorite:

Because unlike most of us today, this baker actually gave a crap.

Also maybe a little pee.

Thanks to Rachael G., Alicia P., Melissa C., Ellen M., Laurie P., Jennifer L., Suzan M., & Elizabeth O., who know that one cake doesn't actually say anything, but who forgive me for trolling because I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY. I mean, ok, I am, but still. WHY DO I HAVE PANTS ON RIGHT NOW.

*****

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