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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar192019

Crapping Sprinkles

Those bizarre "ice cream cones" are back, and this time...

...they're crapping sprinkles.

 

Silly bakers, can't you see you're trying too hard? I mean, just balloons would be FINE.

I can see how I walked into that one.

 

Rosella's office had cupcakes for a pregnant co-worker, and call me crazy, but I *think* she's having a boy:

 

Ever heard the saying, "This isn't 'goodbye', it's only 'farewell'?"

Huh. Well, neither has this baker:

Now, GET OUT.

 

Sometimes, when I'm out of Whoopie Pies and everything is awful, I like to remind myself, "Hey, Jen, you know what? This is someone's wedding cake:"

And suddenly life isn't so bad.

(Well, except for the no-Whoopie-Pies thing. John, get on that, will you?)

 

So, Sarah L., Joann F., Rosella S., Justin C., & Danielle E., got any whoopie pies? Asking for a friend.

*****

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Monday
Mar182019

Whatever You Do, DON'T BREAK EYE CONTACT

Minions, today is a holiday I can celebrate whole heartedly and with zero effort, because it was practically made for me.

That's right, today... [dramatic pause].... [which stretches too long]... [so now everyone is side-eyeing and shifting around uncomfortably]... is Awkward Moments Day.

Awk. Warrrd.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering: do I actually have cakes for Awkward Moments Day?

::hearty chuckle::

 

Let's put it this way:

Do I routinely forget the names of people I've met more than 3 times and then try to fake it by calling them "Heyyyyy you"?

YES I DO, YOU.

 

And did I once turn the corner at Target while complaining to John about my then-boss only to come face-to-face with that very boss AND his wife?

BUTT OF COURSE.

Did I then have to continue working for that boss for another 3 months after trying to play it off like I'd been talking about a different co-worker, knowing full well he wasn't buying it since there were only 3 of us in the whole office?

 

That's a big cringey 10-4, partner.

RIP, my short-lived career installing software on new factory PCs.

 

You know what I love most about this holiday, though? The fact that I'm not the only one out here celebrating it.

How may people do you think this cake serves? 12? 15?

 

Let's pause to appreciate that THIS is the scene someone chose to have hand-piped on what I have to assume is Matt's birthday cake. His birthday cake.

 

The best ones, though, are the unintentional celebrations of Awkward Moments Day. The celebrations that become Awkward Moments themselves.

Like when you accidentally turn a birthday cake into an obituary:

 

Or when you didn't anticipate your initial cupcakes being served in rows of 3:

 

Or you so badly botch whatever you were TRYING to write that it ends up looking like the graduation cake for a Sex Ed class:

We can only hope it was served with a side of bananas.

(WHAT)

(Oh, was that just my sex-ed class? Allllllrighty then.)

 

Thanks to Christine P., Robert C., Laurie C., Francine M., Jennifer G., Diana G., Amy O., Kevin C., & Sherri C. for keeping it real with raw banana appeal.

*****

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