Pan-Wow!

[adjusting headset mic]
[gelling hair]

Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.

A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.

You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.

 

Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?

Pan-Wow.

 

Oh, no. Is that a ghost?

No. It's a Pan-Wow.

 

Going tailgating at the football game?

Pan-Wow.

 

When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:

There's three different colors.  You could use four colors.  Or five.  It doesn't matter.  Pan-Wow.

 

Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:

Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.

 

What's that? You're graduating?

Now it's a hat. Amazing.

 

Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.

It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.

 

Is that the Easter Bunny?

Pan-Wow.

And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.

 

Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.

 

*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:


Sprinkled With Pride

America!

Here in America...[dramatic pause]...we believe in... patriotism! Integrity! Courage!

We believe that Old Glory should cover not only our hearts...

...but our stomachs as well.

[swelling music]

 

We believe that education and patriotic sprinkles are the bedrock of our society:

But mostly the sprinkles.

[music swelling further]

 

America!

We believe that the size of our cupcakes should not be defined by the size of our cups...

...but by the size of our ovens.

 

We believe that even our bread pudding...

...should be frosted. Patriotically.

 

Here in America, we believe that no cupcake is complete...

...until it is deep-fried.

 

Aw yeeeah.

[music swelling further]

 

America!!

Where even our drizzle is patriotic:

 

And our monkeys...

...wear American kimonos.

Because we believe that monkey cakes wearing American kimonos is what America is all about.

 

America!!!!

[music now fully swollen]

And my friends, let us never forget, when it comes to American pride...

...we know how to rock it.

 

AMERICA!!!!

 

Glynis C., Carol G., Kay S., Jessica T., Cindy, Jessie from Cakespy, Molly M., Elizabeth J., & Brouk, now's the time on Sprockets when we dance. With monkeys. In kimonos. Patriotically.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.