This Wedding Cake Is So Bad It's Freaking Adorable

[running in] YOU GUYS.

I just found my new favorite wedding wreck.

It's... LOOKING... at me.

And once you see the face, that's all you'll see. The little puffball bowtie! The grumpy frown! The parade of heart butts on the bottom! It's... [wiping eyes]... It's just so beautiful.

Now I want Mr. Frumpy Puffball Butts to star in his own superhero comic. I want him to host a reality show where he crashes wedding receptions and critiques the hors d'oeuvres in a snooty British accent. I want a tag-team podcast with the Sorting Hat where they discuss current affairs. I want action figures, fuzzy pillows, coffee mugs!!

No no, wait, I've got it:

MR. FRUMPY PUFFBALL BUTTS FOR PRESIDENT.

YASSSSSS.

[pause followed by hushed whispers]

Er, OK, John says I need to go have a little lie-down now, but I'm telling you guys, I think I'm on to something here.  

And thanks to Shannon C. for finding a campaign we can really sink our teeth into.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Give Me One Moment In Time... To Scream Incoherently Into The Void

What's that? You don't have a "moment of frustration" to scream about?

::looks around at all of 2024 like John Travolta lost in a Target::

 Really? Nothing?

Huh. Well, OK then, here come a few scream-worthy suggestions.

They asked for a pink soccer ball cake, like this:

But instead, they got this:

(I think the noise I just made qualifies as a scream.)

"Don't worry," this next baker said in reassuring tones, "I'll just add that in and no one will ever notice."

[....]

Raise your hand if you noticed.

"John" is literally the most common name in the U.S., and pretty high up there in other English-speaking countries. EVERYONE knows a John, or has used a John. ::snerk:: Furthermore, John only has 4 letters! If any name is impossible to misspell, it has to be...

::wearily bonking head on keyboard::

::notices how they spelled 'Birthday'::

::Bonking Intensifies::

Thanks to Joe R., Allison, & Sam K. for spending some of that John dough.
*****

P.S. I went looking for pink soccer balls, and look what I found!

Toddler Soft Soccer Ball w/ Pump

 D'awww. They also have panda and bunny versions at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: