My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Beefy Toad

Does your frog need to jog? Does your newt need some gluts? Is your salamander... getting fat? Then hop them over to the Beefy Toad Gym, and take a leap into fitness!


Here at the Beefy Toad, we host extensive aerobics classes to keep those frog legs moving... matter how many there are.

Your toad will be dizzy with excitement over our top-of-the-line equipment.



He'll really dig'em.

The Beefy Toad offers personal trainers, too, so you're sure to get the most groans for your greenbacks!



"Ok! So! [clapping] We focus the first six months on arms, then we move on to legs!!"



Plus we serve premium low-calorie insects, worms, and snails at our snack bar!



"Wait. There's gym equipment here, too?"



At the Beefy Toad Gym, we'll turn your puny pet...

...into a fabulously fit amphibian!

All in just a few short weeks!
So hop your frog on over to our pad, before he croaks. Better hurry; time flies!



Hey, Keith R., Jacquie G., Meredith, Terri C., Marisa H., and Emily H., if you tell them Jeremiah sent you, you get your first visit free!




Congrats to our final give-away winners, carandavis, musikartlvr, Canadian Emily and ::miss m::, and also our Facebook winners, Alissa Kuizinas Carscallen & JayJay Stroup! Please e-mail us your mailing addresses, guys.


And for those of you who didn't win, you could always buy one of my two sizes of Cake Wrecks 2011 wall calendars currently in stores and online. [eyebrow waggle] There's a mini and a large, 52-week version that's pretty spiffy looking, if I do say so myself.

Also, don't forget that the book is a hardcover with more than 75% all-new content, and at $12.95 or less, it makes an excellent cheap gift. You should really stock up. [more eyebrow waggling]

Oh, and if you'd like your book personalized, I have bookplates available on our Stuff page.

This concludes my bi-annual bout of shameless self-promotion. My publisher and I thank you for your support. ;)


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Reader Comments (50)

Who buys these things??
If people stopped buying them, stores would stop selling them.
Oh wait...that would be a bad thing.


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Well, the third frog looks like it had stretch boobs *shivers*

Yay! The fourth frog down is mine. I live in a very small town, so my wreck-spotting ops are limited. However, the local supermarket turns out a doozy from time to time!

Beefy toad #4 was a display cake trying to lure you into an order. For only $19.99, you got a ton of raisin-studded toad AND a lilypad side cake covered in guacamole green frosting. It sat there about a week, developing more and more cracks until someone put it out of its misery.

I R a wreck-spotter! This is a good day!! Thanks Jen!


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTerri Coop

the first one has a cupcake with FLIES on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant


Where do all these ugly frogs come from? How do all the wreckerators get the same idea? Actually, why frogs? Why frog CCC's?

The one at the fly bar looked a little moldy... slimy? Algae? Could NOT imagine eating that.

The trainer working on his arms, and not legs (legs, not arms?) totally blew me away.

And, yes, I caught the first one looking as though he had 5 legs. I wasn't going to mention it, but you did. *waggling eyebrows right back atcha*

Lovin' the Saturday X-tra!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

as someone who loves all things frog (except real ones, they're slimy!) these scare me!

Now, a Sunday Sweets on frogs, would totally make up for the nightmares I will have tonight. ;)


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkristina

OMG those frogs were bad! I've seen some cute frog cakes, but these were just BAD! Of course, the more bad cakes, the more Cakewrecks fodder, right?

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

These cakes look mesmer...ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOADS!!!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

At EPCOT I believe they would say semi-annual to mean every six months... :::big grin::::

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarly

I don't mind touching real frogs, but those cakes I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. And as usual, you have managed to get a song stuck in my head... "Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine!"

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSara

I wasn't going to comment on the content with the frog
Since I consider cake as the content for your blog
But the WV today produced such a climate,
That I had to take a chance, and really try to "reyhmet".

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Ok, this is too funny. I used to go to a gym in Santa Cruz, CA, called Toadal fitness, with yes, a toad as the mascot.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJade

This. Is. Hilarious.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it might be glutes, not gluts, but either way, you have an awesome website!!!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The last frog reminds me of the" rel="nofollow">Wumpus.

If just one person gets the joke, I'll die a happy woman.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKaschua

HA HA HA!!! As always laughing after reading! The first one is kind of cute for a lumpy pile of green!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVeronica

Your post made me think of this post I saw a while back. One of the saddest things I've seen.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarnie

Does the 4th one have raisins on it? Yuck!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

Already bought the calendar and the book. Really was hoping for the trifecta by winning the pins...

As for the froggies... well they are toadally creepy-cute in a warty and slimey kind of way...


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thanks for referencing "Joy to the World".

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It could be worse. They could have made a realistic frog cake.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAJ

Does anyone remember those news stories about the mutant frogs from Minnesota? If these bakeries were from there, then they have a valid excuse for these deformed frogs.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

@Kaschua OMG! Hunt The Wumpus!!!! My family had a TI computer (ah, TVs as monitors...those were the days) and that was my favorite game. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about it for about 20 years until you just brought it up! Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLee

Disgustingly funny!
I could have croaked over these lol

Love Cake Wrecks!! Thanks!!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNana Rogers

I thought you stopped posting on Saturdays, which makes me wonder why I looked, but.. I did. :) Happy Saturday

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJuliana

Bummer! I didn't win :( I was going to use my winning as a Christmas gift since I already have the book and I just ordered the calendar yesterday. I can't wait to see it!

I bet there are some good "Princess and the Frog" wrecks out there :)

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlysa Sawyer

Okay, the snails one made me vomit a little in my mouth.

I like sugar, and cake-y things, and green and even frogs... but... *blech* *Nausea kicks in again, runs to bathroom*

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterStephanieC

@Terri Coop

It is too bad they didn't put ALL of these wrecks out of their misery. I really don't understand why they even try to make frogs in the first place. A 3D frog is hard enough, but a 2D frog is just a pile of disgusting green icing.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Those are some seriously scary amphibians. People sell these things? Really? Even Frog #3, with the grafted on legs that look like boobs? Yieeee!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermadrobins

This is extra funny because we have a local chain of gyms called Toad-al Fitness with a - you guessed it - frog mascot. I think he's pretty beefy, too.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterACBatz

Those frogs look like they were taking steroids! No wonder they're so beefy! LOL!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDiane1611

I'M GETTING A PUPPY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. Unrelated. I'm just excited. It's going to be a therapy dog for my daughter she's autistic.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Nay

You know, some days the cakes stand on their own, and no commentary is needed. And some days, like today, you don't even need the cakes. The commentary alone cracks me up. You are too funny, Jen.

That said, the raisin-spotted toad is, um, special. Really special.


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my gosh, that last one really looks like Slimer has joined a curling team. But at least he's happy about it :)

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I bet the Majestic Disco Newt would like to join in...maybe a dance class.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

OK, so who wasn't brave enough to attempt a rhyme with salamander? Did Jen or Jon wimp out?

Actually, I am neither brave enough nor healthy enough to attempt such a rhyme right now, either. But it would have been fun!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCatena Creations

Without getting into the distinction between frogs and toads (I hope), some of these look like they've been through a Wild Ride, alright.

I've never seen a frog with gluts. That doesn't really make the top 1000 on the wish list, either. Since a word which means 'an oversupply' is unlikely to have a plural form (and since my spell-checker flags 'glutes'), I think it likely that 'gluts' is correct as used. Yes, an ending 'e' is usually how 'u' gets the 'oo' sound (see what I did, there?) but the word in question is derived from a Latin word. Ipso facto.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I thank all the wreckerators for not putting a long frog tongue on any of those.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterilze

And yet....when I see the phrase "Beefy Toad" all I can think of is how much of a premium I'd get on those frog legs....


November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Raisins may not be half bad depending on the cake...
At least I think so...

Just me then? ... ok...

WV: crath- They looked better after the crath to the floor!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Irene

I'm just trying to figure out why anyone would want a frog cake, let alone enough people to necessitate this bundle (yes, a group of frogs is called a "bundle") of frogs!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Number 1, you are as toadally hopping mad as Jen and John! You croak me up! Terribbit post!

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjillb-ilslp

Frog cakes??? Why??

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Barry Bonds called, he wants his steroids back.

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDangard

I can't hardly beleive that people actually buy these things and pass them off as frog cakes. They look like a 1st grader mae them. lol

November 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

You made a SMACKS reference.

I love you.

I also love frogs.

This double win


November 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Mel

Sometimes your posts just make me say 'WHY?'- these frogs do it big time!
love the posts and thanks for the warning about 'pasties'
Pauline UK

November 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

Oh come on! Number 3 is _definitely_ a green turkey wearing nipple tassels.

November 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley Knowlton

Your commentary, as always, is PRICELESS. I love it!!

November 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think that these beefy toads probably work out here:

Yes, it's real. Frog's Fitness. :)

November 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

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