My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Get a Clue

Wait, wait, I've got this.

I'm going with:

Mr. Mustard... the doghouse... a Baby Shower...


...when a Royal Coachman showed up...


...with a ...uh...buzzsaw?...



And said,

Did I win?


Thanks to Susan N., Persimmon M., Melissa C., Kathleen B., Christiana F., and Bonnie Louise L., who think we're going to need a bigger envelope.



And now, what you've all been waiting for: The "winner" of Friday's caption contest, and a lovely heirloom quality copy of Cake Wrecks, signed by someone you can be reasonably sure is Jen, is LJP!

"Suddenly, Turbo was overcome with a sense of relief, followed immediately by a deep sense of regret...this would be the most embarrassing victory lap in history."

  Email us your address, LJP and thanks to everyone else for the hilarious captions!

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Reader Comments (53)

The cakes look as though they were done by a dimwitted chimp :P

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Mr. Mustard doesn't look so mean after all...

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Oddly, the "Royal Coachman" is a reasonable representation of the actual thing. Still not something I'd pay extra for, though.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

Spot felt deep disgust.
Neither his spray-on tan nor
his perm was working.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Is "Royal Coachman" a euphemism?

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie Meme

Okay, I just don't see anything that is royal or coachman in that cake. And butt gravy? I can't even think of something that they could have messed up in order to come up with that. Just ewwwww...

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

My other post should be bum gravy, not butt gravy.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

I'm trying to understand what a royal coachman has to do with a hairy and spiny letter "z". Perhaps it's some kind of sea creature because anything that bizarre looking could only come from the ocean.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Is that last cake a celebration of the triumph or failure of Imodium?

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

I had to Google "Royal Coachman" to determine that's supposed to be a fishing fly.

I love you guys for expanding my knowledge base this way, so I'll now do everyone else a good turn of the same ilk:


December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

#4 -- What is that ... THING????
"Bum Gravy?" What is that???? (nice writing, though)

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

So I had to google "royal coachman", and it makes a little more sense once I figured out it was a fly fishing lure, not much, just a little. Which is better than my first assumption, which was a guy in livery doing quite a nice bow. No matter how I tilted my head I couldn't make that one work, the fuzzy brown hair was just a bit too Animal for a servant.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Whoa.This is veddy interestink. I wasn't willing to accept that the CCCrap in photo #4 was in fact a "Coachman", because I have no frizzy, floppy, flipping, or other f-word IDEA what coachmen are if they're not like the ones in Cinderella. So, I took a walk to the library (zoomed a closeup of the label). Et Voila/Ta-Da!!! The little darling is a type of fishing lure. It plainly reads:"flyfishinglureccc". Now I can sleep tonight. =^-.-^=

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Marie, isn't "bum" a synonym for "butt?" Just sayin'. ;)

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIndigo

"Bum gravy" sounds like a trip to the Dr is in order.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie H

It's a fishing fly? Never mind, you had me at Bum Gravy.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJose

I agree with Marie. Usually I can figure out what they were trying to do. But for Bum Gravy, I got nothing.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNathan

Hmmm. Out of curiosity, I Googled the term Bum Gravy. Unless it's a misspelling ordering the singeing of a special sauce, Burn Gravy!, there aren't a lot of options. One is colorful colloquialism for a digestive problem and would totally make the brown icing more appropriate. Or maybe the intended recipient of the cake is a fan of U.K. grunge bands?

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

Bum gravy, eeyeeew! Whether you're using "bum" in the British or American way!
And I believe a "royal coachman" is a fly fishing lure.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPomba Gira

Royal coachman is some sort of lure for fishing? I googled it.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterccm

@ Marie - bum? butt? It's all the same - diarrhea cake.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercc

Haiku Joy!!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGroovyGirl

OK, so I looked up what a Royal Coachman is, since I was clearly getting nothing with that CCC. It's a fly fishing fly. Or a limousine service. Or, apparently, according to cake decorators, some sort of Muppet that got sucked through the engine of a 747.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

"Royal Coachman got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Cinderella, we believe."

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

I'm curious just what occasion would call for a Mr. Mustard cupcake? We run a horse camp every summer and go through lots and lots of mustard but have never felt the need to commemorate one of the condiments with frosting o.O

@Haiku Joy ~ When that fake tan lotion first came out I decided I wanted orange legs just like all my friends. Unfortunately, the night I slathered it on I was very tired and fell asleep before washing my hands. I woke up the next morning looking like I'd dipped my hands in a vat of carrot juice. Thanks for the reminder!

I'll admit, I had to google Royal Coachman. That thing doesn't look much like a hotel. It doesn't look much like a fishing fly either.

Huh. That's a very girly buzz saw. I think it would go with my purple tool set very nicely. (No, I'm really not kidding!)

"Bum Gravy"???? Yep, my gag reflex is in fine working order this morning. Thanks!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I think "buzz" is supposed to be a dragonfly.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMegan M.

See how educational CW is? However, I don't care if the royal coachman is supposed to be a fishing fly. I agree with Brooke that it's something that has been scattered, splattered, smothered, and covered. And chunked, for good measure. (A gold star to people from the American south who get the reference!)

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Ok, the Royal Coachman is a fishing lure. That cake doesn't LOOK like a fishing lure either!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMishaDances

Bum Gravy could be a reference to the sterotypes of homeless people cooking - to quote Adrian Monk, "they make their own gravy."

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStine

Just found there's a punk band called Butt Gravy:

The cake still doesn't make sense though! Enquiring minds need to know the answer!!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeeHave

Just also found another band called Bum Gravy:

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeeHave

Is just like to point out that the wreckerator of the "dog house" CCC actually used the correct "you're"!!! Shock and awe!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimi

The only thing I can think of is maybe someone wrote "Plum Crazy!" and it was misread....

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Gosh, an Adrian Monk reference and a salute to our Southern hash brown delicacies all in one post. I think the Buzzzz is supposed to be a clown, and a really like the pretty colors of the CCC (not so much the clown face though). However, I shall lie in bed tonight trying to translate Bum Gravy into something a human would write on a cake order. Must applaud the lovely writing on that one, though.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

The 'Baby Shower' cake was obviously in the special event section of the bakery, along with 'Birthday', 'Bar Mitzvah', 'Wedding' and 'Graduation' cakes.

The Royal Coachman thing is just too weird and scary. I'm going to have Cake Wrecks induced nightmares tonight. Thanks.

I think Mr. Mustard should have been in Epcot.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathy

I looked up "bum gravy." It's exactly what I thought it might be. WHY?!?!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Could it be a corruption of "From Granny"?

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRavenhill

Bum Gravy is a type of fishing lure.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I thought it said "Bum Gravy".wow!

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

Alrighty, then! I just recalled that there be a bit of a song on The Beatles' Abbey Road album what goes by the name of "Mean Mister Mustard." Jolly little ditty, that. Give it a listen, do. =^-.-^=

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Maybe hobo gravy?!?

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpaula

I think that last cake looks very tasty, with a beautiful writing on it - of dubious content.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I seriously lol'd at "Bum Gravy!"

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

Shouldn't that be an icing critter, with a cupcake???

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

Some of the cakes look like they were done by a mentally challenged chimp.

December 9, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

Well whatever evil wreckerator had to write bum gravy on a cake with brown frosting really must want to turn customers into an angry mob lol. Wow and just plain yuck!

December 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Trying to figure out that Royal Coachman... thing messed up my mind so badly, it didn't even occur to me to try to Google it. So, I checked here to see if anyone else got it, and I send a great big THANK YOU! and cyberhug to those of you with enough brain cells left to figure it out for me! Seriously, that is now WAY up there on my short list of Wrecks I Can Not Identify To Save My Life/Sanity. Cheers!

Your Pal,


December 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

The Beatles really were the worst Clue players in history.

December 10, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBob

For anyone who ever watched the TV series Monk, there is a Thanksgiving episode where Monk is helping 3 homeless guys whose friend was murdered. Monk's assistant Natalie wants to invite them for Thanksgiving dinner and she says she will have to make more gravy to which Monk says, "Bums make their own gravy!" Natalie asks what does that mean and he just keeps repeating, "Bums make their own gravy." That episode just completely came back to me when I saw the bum gravy cake. Funny!

December 10, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Well, the royal coachman looks like a fly.... kinda. One of those things where I'd wonder what it was until someone told me what it was, then "oh i see it!"

December 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachelle

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