My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Leave Blank Space, Baby

I figure the only way I'm going to get rid of this earworm is by giving it to you guys. So...

Hit it!


So, it's gonna be forever


Or it's gonna go down in flames.


You can tell me when it's over,


If the high was worth the pain.


Got a long list of ex-lovers!


They'll tell you...

I'm insaaaane.


But I got a blank space, baby...


And I'll write your name!


Toe-tapping thanks to Lindsay W., Meredith G., Daisy S., Telitha G., Sheri T., Geneva W., Christine S., and Elisabeth T. You know I'll love you guys forever, don't you?


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Reader Comments (32)

I still contend that the line "Got a long list of ex-lovers" sounds more like "Got along with Starbuck's lovers"

Perhaps I was a wreckerator in a previous life…

Otherwise, those cats are nightmare inducing.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Cakes #4 & 6...WTF?!?!?!?!?😱😩😵😲

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

Regarding the "blank space" cake: My husband's family (and many of our friends that he brought to the marriage,) have a tradition of smearing the birthday person's name on the cake after they blow out the candles. I never saw this before I met him and I still don't know why they do this. No one seems to have an answer. Come to think of it, they're all from Long Island - maybe that explains it. Anyway, maybe this cake is the result of overly enthusiastic name smearing on the part of some residents of Massapequa.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Pretty sure I'm glad I don't know that song...

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElissa

@Fluffy Cow: I thought it was, "Got a lot of Starbucks lovers." Thank goodness for Google.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I've got several family members to send cake #3 to
On the last cake -- is that a bat'lef?

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

That poor little sprinkle pet in cake no 4 looks so sad. I need to bring him home and pet him.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Second cake: mmm, roasted roses and ladybugs for lunch! Yummy!

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Thanks a lot @Sharyn. My sleep deprived brain just needed one more thing.

What is that flaming thingy even supposed to be???

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I love Cake Wrecks always have always will in lime green frosting.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Hey Jen and john (thoJ), have you seen this?

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

The #2 cake photo credit says it's a "vday volcano with flowers and ladybugs". Nice to know; I was thinking that it was an ad for hemorrhoid cream. (Good thing it's not-- I had to fix my spelling of "hemorrhoid" three times; just imagine what a good quality wreckorator could do with it!)
7th wreck's credit is pointing a messy finger at the bakery, with "grandpa'sbirthdaybakerremovedwriting."
The #8 cake is a "genericnamebday"... Yay! It's Generic Name Day, so get this cake for ("Ask for it by name!") =^0.o^=

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm just as well satisfied that I don't know this song, makes it much less earwormy. :P

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

"Got a long list of ex-lovers!"

Thank you! I hear that song on the radio sometimes when I'm in the car and I could never figure out what that line was. I was guessing "Gotta ask all my ex-lovers."

Great post, awful cakes...shake it off.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHoolia


February 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

As a former latinist, I too love "fovere," ESPECIALLY in lime green fresting.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

What the heck are those things on cake 6 supposed to be? I can see the Armless Turd Monster, who is stalking the Angry Yellow-handed Snow Blob & the Zombie Bear... Here in the UK, it's approaching bedtime & I'm going to have nightmares now!

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStiria_the_fast_one

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWannek

I once loved someone in lime green frosting...but it didn't last.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLindaz

SuBee -- perhaps smearing the name on the cake is apotropaic, to prevent watching demons from bringing ill luck to the person whose name has just been tunelessly sung. Same principle as wishing an actor to break a leg.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

@SuBee -- Sorry, I'm a Long Islander (not too far from Massapequa), and I've never heard of any tradition like that. Then again, I don't get out much.

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBob

@SuBee and Bob, I'm also from Long Island although waaaaaayyy out east. We never smeared names on cakes. But our high school football mascot was a clamdigger which we thought was perfectly normal, so I guess that counts for something.
@FluffyCow, those things are cats on cake #6?? How exactly??

February 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

It says RIGHT ON THE CAKE "lime green frosting..." and it's written in SCARLET RED!!! Do these remedials even know such a thing as reading EXISTS???

February 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAisha

Happy Birthday to what's-her-name!! :D

February 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Hey, if love in lime green frosting is what you're into, then who am I to judge?

February 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I thought it said, gotta ask the starbuck lovers. ....

awesome post by the way!

February 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentercoffee

Love the insane cake. I think they're bears.

February 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Of all the 50 shades of green, lime is my favorite!

February 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKathy D

#4: because nothing says "I love you" like... a dismembered dog lying in a pool of blood?
Really not sure what message that could possibly be intended to convey.

March 2, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSacha

Is it awful of me that at first glance I thought the banner on the last one was a fish?

March 7, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLyn K.

Cake #7 (Blank Space) is a common practice of smearing the name before cutting the cake. It's a superstition, as to not cut through the person's name, and jinxing their year

March 27, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I'm still defending that last cake. I don't consider it a wreck at all. The banners and stars are plastic and completely customizable, and the decorator was obviously trying to hint at that. "Name" is where your child's name is supposed to go, and "Name" can easily be wiped off and replaced with whatever name you like.

August 16, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

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