My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Ballad of Sam Patrick

Ahh, St. Paddy's day. A day of rainbows:


A day of trash cans(?) filled with popcorn(??):


And, of course, a day of traditional Irish padlocks:

Which is where "St. Paddy's" comes from, of course.


Make sure you never call it St. Patty's, though, lest you incur the wrath of both internet commenters and fancy eyebrowed shamrocks:



Besides, we all know you're supposed to call it "Sam Patrick's Day."

Good guy, that Sam Patrick.


Though I hear his pick-up lines were terrible.

(To be fair, that "I'am" WOULD get you hissed.)


Well, happy Sam Patrick's day, everyone!

Oh, and don't forget to pick up your loaf of green snake bread on the way out:

It's what Sam would've wanted.


Thanks to Casey G., Tara G., Melissa S., Crista C., Gabriela N., Samantha G., & Erin R., who can't BELIEVE I didn't make a hissing snake joke there at the end. Sorry, guys.


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Reader Comments (42)

In honor of St Patrick's Day (FYI he was English by birth), I give you this treat to go along with those abominable cakes:

It is worth taking the time to copy and paste the link!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Suggested observance of the day: In any conversation, insist that your interlocutor has mispronounced one word, which you may claim is Gaelic, and may spell with random letters. Give it a pronunciation you've just made up, and no matter how your interlocutor pronounces it, they're still wrong. Repeat until smacked.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

I once used to think they called them paddy wagons because of the padlocks on them. Only later did I found out that was terribly terribly raceist.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMegam

I almost bought some green snake bread to bring to work. We saw it in the store ad and were all pretty fascinated with the idea of cutting its head off (we might have a problem). Plus, we debated what the eyes were made out of (in our local grocery the eyes were money was on Red Hots). But, our gluten-intolerant co-worker would have been left out of the fun so I didn't.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMinda

"Hiss me I'm Irish"??? And I thought St. Patrick drove all the snakes from The Emerald Isle!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469""

Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone (never St. Patty's--I have a friend who used to live in Dublin & schooled me)!

My most enduring memory of this day is when I dressed in green, & with my red hair, green eyes & freckles, looked so Irish that a customer where I worked assumed I WAS. When I told her not even remotely (which is true--I'm actually mostly Polish & Native American & do you KNOW how hard it is to find accessories that do NOT say "I'm Irish"?), she snapped, "Shame on you!"

Apparently looking Irish but not being it is a sin today. Who knew?

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

To follow on from what Khereva posted, liberal use of the the words "Feck!", "Bejaysus!" and "Eijit!" is allowed.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

The fancy eyebrows made me laugh out loud. Then I continued to laugh all the way to the end. Now I am off to see if I can find a green St. Patrick's Day snake.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterEvie_M

When Irish eyes are bleeding
Sure, ‘tis caused by c-c-cees
You’ll hear sobbing (that’s not laughter)
Just remove those damn things, please.
When Irish hearts are breaking
And the Irish skies look gray
There is only one solution
You must throw-oh these cakes away

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Happy Sam Patty's Day to all of you as well!

And, that first one looks like the cupcakes are coverd in mutant bacon.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@Jodi: Mutant Bacon = what Kevin teasingly called his younger brother

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDB

What's saddest about the "Hiss me I'am Irish" one is they goof the wording but DID make a proper shamrock.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermelmac

Last "goody":
Because a day without green snake bread is like a day without slimeshine...

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

In #1, the "back of the fridge mold experiment" rainbows (or should I say "rainbows") are bad enough. But TEAL colored shamrocks? Why? Just, WHY?

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBluebonnet

@Rachel CrazyMum: the link wouldn't work for me... :-( Could you sing it to me?
@SuBee: SO touching! It makes me think of the beautiful wrecks me dear olde mum used to make (they tasted great, but if they'd made a sound, it would've been in b flat...! )
@Jodi: So, they'd be fine if they were covered in REAL bacon? (Hmmmm...maybe!)

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The padlock cake looks so disgusting, that much black frosting makes me want to hurl. But I was actually quite impressed when I read the label on the "Hiss Me" cake that it is actually a CCC! It is so nicely round and evenly iced I would have sworn it was an actual layer cake. Pity it's the only admirable thing about it.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Who knew bread snakes were a thing?

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

SaraCVT- As Goddess of the Half-Poles, I absolve you of all sin. While I'm at it, I might as well make you a saint.
Happy Sam Patty's Day Saint Sara of CVT!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

The first cupcakes look like they're frosted with toothpaste. Mmmm Aquafresh. MINTY!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Sam Patrick. I do love that. Child #3 was born March 19 and he is Sam; but had he been born March 17 probably would have been Patrick. But he *could* have been Sam Patrick! Why didn't I think of that 15 years ago??

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Jay

The black padlock is where "St Paddy's" comes from?
I thought it was a tip of the hat to the Lock o' the Irish.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDave53

It's a long standing tradition that on St Patrick's everyone is Irish, even if they aren't.
So you could have said "yes" & not technically have been exactly lying. *wink wink*
Or you could have said "only on St Paddy's" which would've been completely true.
This is probably why she said "shame on you", not because you looked Irish & aren't, but because by saying "no" you weren't in the spirit of the holiday. (or she was just one of those people who build up assumptions in their own mind, then become deeply offended when they discover their assumption is wrong)

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

Sendingtheclowns: it isn't a song, it's a comedy sketch. If you copy and paste the link into your search engine, it should work.

The padlock cake I thought was a badly executed (and so it should be) CCC (patoooie) handbag.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

@SuBee: Is that like Sir Doctor of TARDIS? (And my fellow CVTs might object to my sainthood.)

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Those green bread snakes are scary! Apparently, celebrating St Paddy's Day started in America. You guys have all the holidays! But at least we don't have scary bread snakes!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterStiria_the_fast_one

I kind of like the fancy eyebrows shamrock. It looks like Dr. Seuss made it.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLynn R

Technically, St. Patrick was Roman.


And please don't hiss me.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKate

@Nerfbomb: I think she was one of *those* people (her behavior otherwise seemed to indicate it) but it might be I am just too honest for my own good. Perhaps I need to kiss the Blarney stone!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@ Rachel CrazyMum: I don't think it's a handbag (unless I missed the irony in your statement). I'm pretty sure that "handle" was supposed to be a rainbow to go with the pot of gold. Picture #1 must have used up all the pretty rainbow colors though...

Also, technically reading: doesn't the "Sam" cake read either "Som" or "San Patrick's Day"? Not that it matters. It's still wrecktastic.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGrammar Gracie

I didn't think those were snakes at first. I thought it might be shillelaghs to hit the wreckers with. :-)

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I do not like green snakes, Sam I'am.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

I love the poo-bows on cake #1.

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDances with Lasagna

God help us all if our beer starts looking like cake no. 2.

Bread snakes: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (Gigglesnort)

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Does anyone else see the "popcorn" cake as a blond, curly-haired cherub face down in a green trash can?

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

If I ever have a little boy, I'm so going to name him Sam Patrick. And then if he's born on a day other than St. Pat's, we can have two days to celebrate little Sam Patrick!

March 17, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

My grandmother would have probably ran away from the bread snakes. Lol she hated them so much. I am sad no one did a pot of gold lol ah well always next year.

March 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Grammar Gracie, the only reason I thought it was a handbag is because I've never seen a black rainbow!

March 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Regarding cake #2, I believe Oscar the Grouch got peroxide in his hair and is now too embarrassed to poke his head out of his trash can.

March 18, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWhirled One

It's what Sam would have wanted. Bahahahaha!

March 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

I bought some of that snake bread! The eyes were candied cherries. It was quite good after popping it in the oven. The kids loved it!

March 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKris

These are hilarious. But I think that baker meant to say Happy SAN Patrick's day, which it's Saint in spanish. It's hilarious, either they were too lazy to write it properly or they wanted to mix some spanglish in there!

March 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Actually, I think the padlock might be a cauldron - as in that pot at the end of the rainbow? They left out the gold.

May 3, 2015 | Unregistered Commentertiranda

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