HE SEES YOU: A Holiday Horror Story

[movie announcer guy]:  

This Christmas... 

get ready...

for a one horse...

open...

SLAY.

"AAAIIIIEEEEE!!"

Run as fast as you can...

[insane giggling]

And don't go outside:

"ZOMBIE PENGUIN!"

And never...

"THEY'RE COMING!"

EVER...

"Oh, thank goodness we found you, Santa! ....Santa?"

"AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!"

...FALL ASLEEP.

"He's not real. He's not real. HE'S NOT REAL."

"He's... right behind me, isn't he?

"Great. Juuuuust great."

[child singing]

He sees you when you're sleeping

He know when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good,

So be good...

 ...OR DIE.

Thanks to Erinn M., Aymara A., Gene H., Ben & Janelle, Chandria D., Zach R., Ann H., & Shannon S., who better watch out, and they better not cry, because wusses get left behind.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Putting the "Ha!" in Halloween

You guys, this Friday is Halloween! And you know what that means, right?

Yep: Time to get our hands on some cake.

Finger-licking bad.

Or I suppose we could sink our teeth into some...er...

[blinking]

...never mind.

Just keep your eyes off this pumpkin cake, if you please:

Thank you.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this design:

Ow.

Oh, I know! Maybe it's a window pane!

*gigglesnort*

Ahem.

I did wonder why Frank there had no nose, but then I realized:

That's why.

Yep, you could say it's as plain as the dong on his face.

Come to think of it, this bakery really should reevaluate their staff:

'Cuz that's one broomstick that should be swept under the rug.
You know, for being too hard to handle.
Not to mention stick-y.

And so, my friends, in conclusion:

Haa!

And...

EEN!!

Thanks to A.F., C.C., Linda L., Donna S., Patrick M., Dana, Jeremy C., & Kelsey N. for the tricky treats.

*****

P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: