From The Baker Formerly Known As Prince

I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"

Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before

That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).

It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée

The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée

And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

Raaaspberry purée

I think I loooove you.

Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm

I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"

I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed

Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:

Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

(EW!)

Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.

***

 (Goodnight, sweet Prince.)

Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry.  

LEGGO MY LEGO!

Hey, today is LEGO's 68th birthday! Yep, that's 68 whole years of tiny bruises and hopping around the house on one foot while cursing - which is definitely grounds for cake, don't you think?

Hmm. Maybe a LEGO cake would be more appetizing.

Now, in theory, a LEGO brick cake is pretty simple to make: just stack cupcakes on a sheet cake, frost the whole shebang, and then stick as many LEGO flotsam pieces on it as possible so people don't think you've created an edible skin rash:

I have an irresistible urge to step on this.

You can also use the time-tested, wreckerator-approved method of just writing what the cake is supposed to be ON the cake, so people are sure to get the hint:

If I were Kyle, I'd be hoping there were another 9 cakes waiting in the wings.

Still, those aren't half bad for homemade, right? Of course, they're not homemade, they're professional. And so is this:

(The Cliffs of INSANITY!)

And this:

It's like the underside of a sheep belly. A cold sheep belly.

(Ok, not THAT cold, but still, you know, pretty cold.)

And this:

There's a "sh***ing bricks" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.

If you want your LEGO cake to get really confusing, just add crayon candles:

I see a pair of goggles exploding rainbows. Which is almost awesome.

And you're never going to believe it, but this, too, is a professionally made "LEGO" brick cake:

[looking around]

[shifty eyes]

Ok, if no one else is going to say it, I will:

LEGO NIPPLES.

FUN FACT: The little bumps on LEGO bricks are called "studs."

FUNNER FACT: Today's wreckporters Breanna, Amanda K., Cindy S., Autumn & Dylan, Sondra D., Brian K., Gwen I., & Cricket are total stud-magnets. Awww yeeeeah. (Also: ouch.)

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: