When The World Ends, Blame The Ninja Deer

You know how sometimes we like to zoom in to see all the wrecky details?

Well, it turns out sometimes we should zoom OUT.

Take this wedding cake, for example:

While I think you'll agree that finger-smeared "camouflage" is a true wonder to behold, there's no way for you to fully appreciate the entire artistic "tableau" - the one hinted at by that snippet of caution tape in the background - until you zoom out a ways:

I'll forgive the balloons, the little boot vases, and even the toy tractors - but two plywood boards balanced on a used tractor tire? That's time to take a stand, people. And burn it.

And, ok, since you insist:

Whoah, whoah, whoah. Where did those tiny deer come from?!

No, seriously, did you see any tiny plastic deer in those first two photos? 'Cuz I didn't.

Wait.

I just thought of something:

What if the deer were wearing camouflage?

{***}

That sound just then?

That was your mind being blown.

Many thanks to Anony M., who also provided a photo of the bridal party, but I've decided to protect the identities of the guilty. After all, any bridesmaid forced to wear a camo dress with a neon orange petticoat and cowboy boots has suffered enough, don't you think?

*****

P.S. I don't think I'll ever be OK with tires as cake stands, but they DO make pretty awesome travel mugs:

Stainless Steel Tire Travel Mug

The lid even has a hub cap! Ha! Great reviews, too.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Oops! They Did It Again

Will you guys ever get tired of seeing wedding missed marks? 'Cuz I'm thinking, "no."

Let's test that theory, shall we?

What the bride wanted:

What the bride got:

That'll buff out.

A lovely leaf motif:

And a lovely...oh good grief:

Actually, that leaf design is so popular I have two wedding wrecks based on it:

Whoah. This baker needs to make like a tree, and get out of tree decorations.

(Hm. I feel like that line didn't go quite right. Maybe I should follow it up with something clever.)

So.

YEAH.

(Theeere we go.)

This next one's in reverse order; here's what Anthony L's bakery replaced another bakery's initial wreck with, and with only an hour and a half to do so before the wedding started:

Not bad for less than two hours' work, right?

Especially when you compare what the original cake (again, from another bakery) looked like:

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Play-Doh? I keep expecting it to spring to life, claymation style. And then maybe turn into a giant demon dog and terrorize a nerdy New York accountant.

Just me?

Here's a fun, modern pattern:

Aaaaand the fun stops HERE:

It's never a good sign when your cake is crying.

Goodness gracious, great balls on wires!

Seriously. They're like shiny little bubbles of joy - totally cute.

These, on the other hand, are just...

...balls.

Thanks to Krista V., Emily B., Allison I., Anthony L., Tempest J., & Sarah B. for feeding our horrible wedding wreck obsession.

*****

P.S. In case your life was missing a set of cat butt magnets, I found you some:

Cat Butt Magnets

There's also a set for dogs.

You're welcome.

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: