Wax Poetic, Wax Off

Because bad poems and bad cakes go together like two things that go together and also rhyme.

Long like the trombone
are a giraffe's neck bones
7 bones
Bony bones
But Phil only had one bone.

Sucks to be you, Phil.

*******

There once was a baker called Smit
Whose spelling was never a hit
From what I have heard
He botched ev'ry word
Except one: that guy knew his...

...stuff.

****

Elsa didn't know
Until blood started flowing
What she'd created

****

DO NOT

stand

in
         cake
             case

[whispering] Bakeryyyyy

****

Once in a season, very near Fall
From deep in the forest, trees shady and tall

Comes something peculiar, and so seldom seen
Like a leprechaun's gold, or a unicorn's spleen

Look quickly, my brethren, for with any luck
You'll be graced with the majesty of Weenie Buck

*snapsnapsnap*

Thanks to Keelan M., Julia C., Jess K., Kia H., & Kristy D. for helping us channel our inner Charlie McKenzie. ("WOMAN! Whoaaaaa-MAN!")

*****

P.S. I see you appreciate poetry. Might I recommend...?

I Could Pee On This, And Other Poems By Cats
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Write 'Em, Cowboys!

Hey guys, it's time again for our Annual Texas Cowboy Poetry post!

(My apologies in advance to Texas, cowboys, and poetry in general.)

Ahem hem hem.

swirling poo vortex
moistly encircles my horse

keep it off the boots.

******

There once was a rodeo clown
The best of the whole bunch, hands down.

A real Texas Star

He's sure to go far

If he'd just stop horsing aroun'.

*****

Dangle the Dog's show had to close
The problem? Right under his nose.
Since it's hard to erase
the things on his face...

Now he just does puppet shows.

****

Kill.
Kill, kill, kill
KILL!
Killllllllllll....

Kill kill.

*********

And for our grand finale, we'd like you to know that John wrote the next one. That's right, JOHN DID IT. So it's not my or Sharyn's fault. We're just saying.

Take it away, John!

Once upon a morning dreary, while I sat there, drinking beery,
Thinkin' 'bout this girl I'd ogled at the game the night before.
How we went back to her trailer, thinkin' I was gonna... uh, regale her
Shame she fell into the baler, just below the hayloft door.
"Geez Louise!" I screamed in terror as her bits lay on the floor.
"Now she's boobs... and nothing more!"

Thanks to Jodee R., Erica D., Tug T., Samantha R., Kristen, Emily S., & Willow M. for helping John get that off his chest.

*****

P.S. I see you appreciate poetry. Might I recommend...?

I Could Pee On This, And Other Poems By Cats

This hardcover gift book costs less than $10 and will have your friends feline fine.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: