No Excuses? Here, Try These

Dear Jen,

Help! It's July and there are no good holidays coming up, plus no birthdays in my family, and I WANT CAKE. Can you help?

- Cakeless in Cincinnati

 

Dear Cakeless,

My dear wrecky minion, you've come to the right place. Fact is, there are lots of excuses for cake, if you only learn to celebrate the little things in life.

A few suggestions:

I POOPED TODAY!

Depending on your fiber intake, I bet some of you could celebrate this EVERY day.

 

My '99 Nokia Still Works!

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Leslie claims this was supposed to say "Old friends are the best." But think about it: can you play Candy Crush on your friends while you're pooping? NO YOU CANNOT.

I rest my case.

 

It Was Just a Heat Rash!

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Time will tell.

(Actually, Rebecca tells me this was supposed to say "Baby." Is she telling the truth? Mmmm... PERHAPS.)

 

I'm A Pleasant Dining Companion!

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Especially while eating cake.

 

That Thing Is Over!

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SUCH a relief, am I right?

 

But maybe none of these apply to you, Cakeless. 
In that case, here's one for just about everybody:

Not Dead Yet!

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In fact, I think we should all congratulate each other for not being dead yet.

So, congratulations, guys.

And sorry, ghosts-with-internet-access.

 

Thanks to Alyssa V., Rebecca W., Leslie M., Emilie F., Scott D., & Kat R. for the perfect excuse.

*****

And now, our product placement of the day!

A Sloth’s Notebook Of Excuses

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Santa, Baby, PUT THAT AWAY

Kristy L. sent in this screenshot of a local bakery's online ad, along with a caption I couldn't beat if I tried.

All she wrote was, "Sun's out, fun's out!"

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o.0

Thank you, Kristy, for saving me from making a North Pole/South Pole joke - because you KNOW that was coming.

Now please enjoy this completely random and unrelated SNL sketch:

As well as this completely random and unrelated product that popped up on Amazon while I was searching for... well, never mind what I searching for:

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"Sir Perky Bottle Opener Set"

Happy Christmas in July, y'all.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: