6 Traumatizing Kids' Cakes That Will Have Them Asking For Pie Next Time

Bakers, I've got an incredibly easy holiday for you today: 

It's "Give Kids A Smile Day!"

That's it. That's all we ask. Just make a cake to make the kiddos smile.

Ready?

Aaaaaaand.... go.

NOPE

What the... ?

Sweet sugary Stay Puft

SERIOUSLY?

Oh hey, hang on, maybe this flaming Woody isn't TOO…

NOPE NOPE STOP IT STOP IT RIGHT NOW

OK, bakers, last chance: how about a cute little Cookie Monster cake? There's nothing nightmarish or traumatizing about a furry blue muppet who loves cookies, right?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[deep breath]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You monsters.

Thanks to Emily F., Julie R., Belinda B., Priscilla R., Tenley H., & CA for giving my subconscious all this new and improved nightmare fuel. ::shudder::

P.S. I just spent 10 minutes looking at cute Cookie Monster dolls to recover, and I found the happiest t-shirt:

Sesame Street's "Me Amazing" shirt

I love the colors!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

"Poopy" Seeds, Censored Snow, & A Whale of A Penis

An oceanography institute held a dessert contest for their employees, but someone apparently decided to cheat a bit, aaaand:

....hilarity ensued.

I like how this person immediately threw the store under the bus. Better for people to know you cheated than think you drew THAT, am I right?

(Though, in the baker's defense, that's a real whale of a penis she drew there.)

And speaking of less-than-family-friendly cake decorating, you've got to watch out for some of these bakers and their four-letter-words:

Thank goodness the snowman censor was there to spare the innocent.

It's decided, I'm calling them this from now and on:

WHATADEEEEEAL!

Here's one to file under "Dear God, What IS That Thing?!"

Look closely, and you can almost hear the shrieking eels.

(That's a rather obscure Princess Bride reference. If you got it, let's be friends.)

Btw, ever wonder what some of these cakes are even for?

Well, alrighty, then.

Thanks to David E., Anony M., Ruth C., Autumn J., & Rebecca H. for not "Russian" these wrecks.

*****

P.S. In honor of today's whale of a penis:

Rose Gold Narwhal Necklace

Still a phallic whale, but WAY cuter. And only $11! :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: