Karen Ordered A Unicorn Cake For Her Daughter's Birthday, And I May Never Recover

Karen asked her bakery to make a cute unicorn cake for her 8-year-old's birthday party, and brought along this picture as a reference:

Now listen, I've seen a LOT of unicorn wrecks in my day, but what Karen picked up from her bakery last week has me SHOOK.

SHOOK I SAY 

Ready?

Here it comes:

SWEET SUGARY STAY PUFT

 OH... migosh.

The longer you look the funnier it gets. Why are there back spines? Where are the legs? Is that hair? Wait, IS THAT AN EYE??

10 seconds in and I can't breath. What a time to be alive.

:D

Big sloppy thanks to Karen S. and her daughter... Qella? Qoila? I don't think that's right, but don't worry; with a cake like that, I promise no one is looking at the writing. (Except to wonder if the giant exclamation mark is a leg.)

 (::head tilt::) 

(No, no, I don't think it is.)

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And hey, if you don't want to roll the dice on a cake, there's always this cute unicorn throw!

Fleece Unicorn Blanket

Aw, look at it, with it's recognizable features and legible writing. SO SWEET.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Best/Worst Valentine Cakes To Give Someone You Love

Wonky hearts and cupid bows are so predictable.

Why not spice up this Valentines Day with something a little... you know... [eyebrow waggle]

...confusing.

Of course you want to leave some things to the imagination:

As big as WHAT can be, you ask?

Well, now, [WINK] that's up to YOU to... ok, a rainbow. They meant the rainbow. Happy?

There's also the direct approach:

("Bloody L, I can't tell if I should censor this or not!")

But try not to confuse your baker:

For once I'm siding with the seller - 'cuz that shiz is hilarious.

And finally, the best/worst Valentines cake for anyone who loves cake, Tom Selleck, edible chest hair, and, of course, the word "moist."

BOOM.

Thanks to Anony M., Chris T., Linda H., Kim W., & Carley C. for the classic Cake Wrecks throwback.

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P.S. In case you feel like trolling your friend who hates the word "moist":

Gold Accented "Moist" Mug

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And from my other blog, Epbot: