Wrecked Here, Waiting For You

It's National Cleaning Week, minions, which feels appropriate since that's what a lot of you are doing with your extra free time at home. Not me, though. I already work at home, so I have exactly the same amount of free time as before, and I need all of it for browsing Instagram and annoying my cats.

Still, I'm all for cleaning out the old grody stuff and giving things a little refresh. Which was a hint. Directed at these bakeries.

Ahem hem hem. Spotlight over here, boys.

::dramatic hair flip to reveal 80s style mullet::

Cakes fall apart

day after day

And I slowly go insane

 I know this whale isn't mine

But it doesn't stop the pain

 If displays won't last forever

Why do you clean them never?

[chorus of Muppety cake voices starts to sing]

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

We will be wrecked here, waiting for you

For how long it takes
'Til they make new cakes
We will be wrecked here, waiting for youuu

Thanks to Rachel W., Tina H., Sarah H., Wut, Tom H., & George V. for Part 1. That's right, I WROTE THE WHOLE DANG SONG, so tune in tomorrow to keep this 80s ear worm going.

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P.S. If you're like me and would rather have a clean house without actually having to clean it, then do I have the bunny slippers for you:

 Bunny Mop Slippers

They also have ones that look like teddy bears, frogs, and my personal favorite: pigs.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Perfectly Lovely And "BIG AND THICK"

This is a perfectly lovely wedding cake, you guys. Perfectly lovely.

[...]

[side eye]

But I'm not the only one who sees it, right?

#DirtyMindsUnite

This little girl is thinking, "I can ALSO spell better than you, dude."

Such a nice chocolate wine glass, and then...

WHY?!

When You Ask For A Rainbow, But Your Baker Is, Like, SUPER Lazy:

And finally, quite possibly the most inappropriate literal LOL I've ever featured:

This is why you really have to watch your phrasing in a bakery, minions. o.0

Thanks to Mackenzie K., Sharon F., Anony M., Ashly K., & Joanna M., who no doubt had some 'splaining to do at little Liana's party.

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Hey, you know what's ALSO big and thick?

3D Bread Loaf Pillow

Hey, I'm on a roll. How could I not rise to the occasion?

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And from my other blog, Epbot: