Ghost Taunters International

May 03, 2021

[dramatic voice-over guy]: "Today, on Ghost Taunters International, the team travels to Geneva to investigate an ancient spa slaughterhouse that was also used as an asylum for homicidal clowns."

"Uh...guys? Does the fountain always do that?"

"Where tortured souls, rubber noses, and victims of unspeakable beauty treatments lie in wait..."

"There's something in the water. THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE WATER."

[sounds of scuffling]

"Oh, never mind. It's just some disembodied arms. And maybe a child's head."

"PHEW! For a second there, I thought we'd found a cold spot."

"And dark forces seem to be lurking...in the dark."

"Ok, who brought the dog?"

"Are these wayward spirits trying to break free from their unearthly shackles and actually make contact?"

"Okay, I've got a plan. Stay close...stay close!...and..."

"GET HER!"

[shrieks]

[more scuffling]

"Oh. Sorry, Leslie. But really, you might consider laying off the white powder and mascara."

"What shocking new evidence will be revealed in the team's quest for proof of the supernatural?"

[sssppssspspsspppssIwanttoeatyourfacessppsps]

[gasping] "OMIGOSH. Someone said my name. Did you hear that? Something said, 'Leslie.' I swear! Did you hear it?"

"I dunno; sounded more like 'Cream Cheese' to me."

"I heard 'Velveeta.'"

"Anyone else getting hungry?"

"Or could these spirits be up to more serious funny business?"

"The clowns are angry. I can feel it."

"Ok, if there are any clowns down here, could you please give us another sign? Maybe this time without killing our camera man?"

"Will the team find answers in this circus/spa/slaughterhouse?"

"This was the seaweed wrap room, wasn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"Just a hunch."

"Or will they face their greatest challenge yet?"

"Ug. You know, in this infrared your pores look DISGUSTING. Seriously. You should, like, exfoliate or something."

"Find out, on Ghost Taunters, International!"

Thanks to Cynthia C. booturtle, Teri P., Natalie B., Chris C., Lyn W., Diana M., & Anna M. for the MASS HYSTERIA.

*****

P.S. These would be hilarious for your next watch party:

Character Spa Face Masks

I'm already thinking a spa-themed craft night is in order, just so we can all wear these.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sunday Sweets: Modern Chic

May 02, 2021

When I got married way-back-when, wedding cakes were hardly the sleek, chic masterpieces they are today. Back then, all the hip cakes featured things like light-up fountains, fake ivy, plastic staircases from tier to tier, and rampant tulle abuse. Those were different times, kids.

Nowadays, couples have so many super stylish options to choose from, it's really quite unfair.

(By Cakeaholic)

You don't know how good you have it, whippersnappers!

Sure, there are still plenty of wedding cakes with frills and fluff, but today we're taking a tour of sleek modern cakes that make my heart bleed with lust. Like so:

(By Some Crust Bakery)

Seriously, I call a wedding do-over. I would have loved this monochromatic cake at my wedding. So simple and striking!

Or maybe this sophisticated number with its immaculate appliques:

(By Art & Appetite)

Not a pair of plastic doves in sight! Oh, how far we've come!

This couple's cake was inspired by the paintings of artist R.N. Allen, which played a significant part in their early courtship:

(By Gateaux Inc.)

My wedding cake's most notable characteristic was a wad of fake purple flowers. See? So unfair.

But even wads of flowers can look amazing these days:

(By Janet Mohapi-Banks; photo by Sugar & Spice Photography.)

...if it's gorgeous graduating layers of edible roses, that is.

And this single flower makes quite a statement, with its petals gently descending down the cake amid declarations of love written in French.

(By Sugarplum Cake Shop)

Le sigh!

Speaking of France, how great is this Parisian-themed beauty?

(By Sucre Coeur)

I love how it tells a story, and I'm amazed by the workmanship on the Eiffel Tower topper. (And not just because I've been playing a lot of Draw Something lately, and have learned that it's, like, REALLY HARD to draw a recognizable Eiffel Tower).

Here's a modern twist on the 'dandelion clocks' wallpaper designs of the '50s.

(By Sweet Disposition Cakes)

Good thing no one is making wedding cakes inspired by wallpaper designs of the '90s, because those would probably feature geese wearing bonnets and baskets of dried flowers. That's what I seem to remember, anyway.

Of course, black and white is so classic I'm pretty sure this couple's grandkids will never look through their wedding album and snicker at the cake.

(By The Yummy Cake Company)

Not that I've ever done such a thing to my relatives, of course. Especially not certain relatives who used stalks of wheat as a cake topper. Bwa ha ha!

Ahem. Sorry. That was a totally a made-up example. Any resemblance to real relative's wedding cakes, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

I just love the colors on this next cake. It's so happy and fun and summery!

(By Blissfully Sweet)

It makes me want to get divorced so I can get married again! I'm sure I could maybe talk my husband into that plan ...

I could even offer up this cake as a compromise:

jesswil.l.ss.half-bride2Chalf-groomwedding.jpg

(By Shockley's Sweet Shoppe)

Half for the bride, half for the groom, and everybody wins! Especially the wedding guests.

I love how the intricate design on this next cake wrap around the edges of these square tiers - no, wait ... are they hexagons?! No way. That shape wasn't even invented back when I got married.