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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar312011

Ghost Taunters

"Hello and welcome to Ghost Investigator Dudes. I'm Brad Johnson, a frat boy jock who isn't afraid of ANYTHING and enjoys taunting the afterlife by yelling challenges into empty cellars.

"With me are Joey..."

"Yo!"

"...and Mike."

"Yo!"

"Today we're here at the old Chattanooga asylum, where, like, a bunch of people died 'n stuff and we're totally gonna lock ourselves in all night and see what happens and film everything with shaky pocket infrared cameras and bad sound equipment.

"Awright, let's get started! So we're going down to the dungeons to...

"WHOA!!! Something touched me! Dude! Did you get that on camera?!?"

"No."

"Aw, dude."

(Geeet oooouuuut!!)

"Righteous. So, like, now we're going down into the kitchens where they kille..."

"WHOA!!! Did you see that?"

"No."

"There! In the corner! Were you filming?"

"Sorry, man, no - but I did feel a little cold just then."

"Duuude."

(No seeeeeriously. Geeeet oooouuuut!!!)

"Shyah. That was, like, almost totally spiritual. So, check it! The caretaker here says there's this dog? That's like a ghost? That haunts the library and kills people? So we should totally go there."

"Whoa!"

*beep* *beep* *beeeeeeeeeeeep*

"Did you *beeeep*'n see that?!?"

[camera swinging wildly, sound of scuffling feet]

*beeeeep*

"Dude, tell me you got that on tape!!"

"Sorry, bra. It was pointed at the floor."

"Whoa."

(I kill you!!)

"Ok, so, like, there's a wedding chapel in this asylum that's, like, totally haunted, right? And a bunch of people died there last week so, like, let's turn off all our lights and point our cameras at the floor."

[girlish shriek]

"DUDE! I saw something move!"

"Something walked by me!!"

"Someone's massaging my shoulders!!!"

(Well, hello there.)


*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Thanks to Emily L., Jessica L., Leslie H., Urvashi, & Tama, but we still don't know what happened to André.

« Fooled You! | Main | Babel Fish Needed »

Reader Comments (136)

Santino for the win!!!!!!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElizabethB

That last cake will haunt my nightmares. Yikes.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Jen, you totally nailed it on the head! I could have sworn I was actually watching one of those shows. Ha ha!

The shoulder massaging did it for me! I hope I can keep it together in my meeting today; that was just too fun.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is that last cake sporting a photo of Santino from season 2 of Project Runway? And more importantly, WHY is that last cake sporting a photo of Santino from season 2 of Project Runway?

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYoshimay

That last one is going to give me more nightmares than any real ghost encounter ever could.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Achmed the Dead Terrorist! I love it!

Sharon's Edible Art

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Is that first cake scrambled eggs with a bacon mouth?

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRon and Jessica

That dog cake is almost cute, but I can't figure out what's that thing hiding under the table. Is it there to eat all the veggies you don't like or just kill everyone?

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJabby

That final cake is simply not appropriate without candles burning and Roger's "I Want to Be Your Man" playing.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

lol "What happened to Ahn-dre?" Santino does the best Tim Gunn impression.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKati M

OMG the "I kill you" line I totally had the voice of Achmed the Dead Terrorist in my head... LOL Funny funny post!!!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Alright I was totaly confused by that picture of the dog cake but then I got down to the last picture and I just....just....I'm not thinking about this any more.

If you need me I will be off shoping for eye bleach.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDani

The horror, the horror O_o

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So that first cake shows the mindset of many cake wreckerators--if you need to hide your lack of artistic skills, use more icing...slather it on thick, use large piping tips, and when in doubt, add more!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Some days i feel like I was married at a wedding chapel in an insane asylum.

That second cake! Is that supposed to be a bull? What is that red thing? Really, any ideas?

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Oy...that last cake... LOL! How long have you been saving the house of horrors cakes anyhow? :o)

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

wv: arightro
"Arightro then, let's get started. As you can see, our first cake represents Oscar the Grouch after a bad dye job..."

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*Beepin'* hilarious!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie G. from Iowa

Not the biggest fan of today's post, but my 2 year old saw the first photo and said "it's a cake!". Apparently that one didn't get messed up enough since a 2 year old can still tell it's supposed to be edible.

Don't get me wrong...I'm a daily reader and love the majority of the posts :) Keep on cakin'...

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

But no psychics, mediums or exorcists! LOL, that show is too funny. Nothing ever caught on video but dust. I love what you did with it!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertracylee

LOL Sharon - you're not the only one that heard Achmed!

Then I heard Psycho-shower-scene music on that last one!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Also, I was just rolling about the EPCOT yesterday! ;D

wv: hypotin: Those wreckerators must be using some hypotin drugs to create cakes like that!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*
Great parody! Though, is it fair to parody something that parodies itself?;-)

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lessee ... beefcake, shoulder massages, butt pinching, hair pulling ... wait. aren't i supposed to be watching a show about ghosts?

And who squashed the puppy under the table? yech.

wv: feurchir: Feurchir, I always figured if i were a ghost, the first thing I'd scream into an investigator's ear is "Scooby Snax!"

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I laughed the whole time until I reached the last cake, which I know will haunt me for a long time.
Uh-oh. Haunt me?
Someone pass me my "frat boy jock who isn't afraid of ANYTHING and enjoys taunting the afterlife by yelling challenges into empty cellars" and "pocket infrared cameras and bad sound equipment."
I love you, Jen. Sincerely.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

#1: Tammy Faye has been reincarnated as a hideous cake! Poor woman can't seem to catch a break in any life. (I met her in an airport once. I actually thought she was kind of nice.)

#2: Not sure if that's a cow or a dog, but the first thing I thought I saw was boobs. And, no, I'm not a fourteen-year-old boy.

#3: Oh, sure, we all enjoy seeing them play poker, but we don't like the ugly image of nasty hangovers after a night of tying one on, waking up under a table with someone whose name you don't remember, the eyes filled with regret.

#4: Poor Jagruti and Vishal. They used that bad copy of the Hindi-English dictionary and this is what they ended up with. What they wanted was a hovercraft full of eels.

#5: Well, at least Brad kept his pants on this year. On the cake, anyway.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Given a choice, I'd rather find myself in a dark, haunted asylum with whatever that first thing was than Santino.

Unless Tim Gunn was there to comfort me. =)

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

My name is Kim and I hope I never get a cake that scary for my birthday!! Awesome narration, too!!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimA

Despite the horror of the last cake ('Here, have the slice with his crotch on it' - 'No, I'd rather not' 'Would you prefer his wandering hand?' - 'No, really...' - 'Aw go on' 'No...' 'You will, you will..') the dog and table cake raises so many questions. Is that a real table? Why is it squashing the little doggie? Why is the other doggie humping the table? If that's a real table, is anyone going to eat the bit of cake that's on top of it? Is that cake under the table? Is anyone going to eat the bits that have table legs on it? Who gets to keep the table? I think I'd have been thrown out of that party fairly early on...

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Most of the post warranted smirks and chuckles. Then I saw Santino Rice and burst out laughing and couldn't stop for a good ten seconds. Epic win.

WV: bouthou - I watched every episode of On the Road with Austin & Santino, because I love bouthou them.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercoeurdechoeur

OMG, that last cake took the cake.... LOLOLOL...

WV : peemon
*in my Jamaican voice* Dis post was so funny it almost made me pee mon...

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNo Cake Fo' You!!!

Love the Project Runway references!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Woohoo! I live in Chattanooga. Don't think we have an old asylum, but we have one that is currently in use! :D

"What happened to Andre?" is one of my all-time favorite TV lines.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErica T.

This one keeps on giving. I haven't stopped laughing about it.
Loved the commentary. Thanks for the giggles!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

Ewww, Santino and his greasy hair.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

Andre' is terrifying!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

ROFLMAOH... I so totally heard that in Zak Bagans' voice...

You guys ROCK.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Beepin' hysterical!! Wreck on dudes!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLulubelle B

snicker...snort....the second uh cake? cow? ghost? is that a steak in front of it? roflamo on the last one sorry massaging my shoulders omg...

wv: revisea~ wouldnt want to revisea that bakery with the haunted cow cake ever again...

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenter~flying gurl~

Loved this posting. Since I am a paranormal investigator, and hate that show that you hint at. It had me in stitches the entire time! For the record I do feel silly talking to empty rooms.

As for the Santino cake maybe it was an inside joke for the lovely couple, maybe she in reality hates Santino, and her man pokes fun at her. It's like that with Justin G. of Amerinan Idol fame, I can't stand him, but hubby always makes fun of me and says stuff, like come on you know you want him.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

OMG I screamed out loud at the last one! AHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJW

FABulous!

wv - elisruff

Elisruff-ly laughing at this post - :::clears throat::: - ah, now I can laugh clearly.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

aww... I <3 Santino!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanine

I was so nicely giggling away at your take on the looking for ghosts shows, but you sure pulled a fast one on me with the Santino cake. Wow, just wow.

Please tell me you have no Tim Gunn wrecks. Tim Gunn should not become a travesty in icing.

Wreckerators and designers and bloggers alike, make it work. And if it doesn't, have a good laugh!

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

Totally going to spread this around my skeptic friends! Awesome!

wv: bones. Not kidding. My wv is bones. OMG CAKEWRECKS HAUNTED MY COMPUTER AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! If I say CakeWrecks into a mirror three times does Jen show up in my kitchen to take photos of my cake disasters?! Oh wait, no, I'm in Texas and therefore protected by the Anti-CW-Field-of-Doom...*sighofrelief*

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Not only did I have an Achmed TDT moment (Silence!) I had a Westley moment with the second ...umm.. I guess we call it cake:
"Oh Dear God! What is that thing?!?!"

wv Veerat Don't veerat that too closely... it might be alive.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercq75

Holy cow (pardon the inadvertent pun) if cake #2 isn't enough to put you off cake for the rest of your life then that last one surely will....

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Perfect! I could almost hear the imagined EMFs (or whatever they are called).

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterflorid nightingale

Like it, but where is the:
Listen to this audio tape!
*unintelligible grumble*
Woah! Cant you hear "Im gonna kill you!"
*plays 5 more times*
Yeah man. Spooky.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my Christ, I almost dropped one of my kids I was laughing so hard at this. Thank you. Seriously.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ Nixon

Tears. Oh my goodness.

March 31, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercolleen

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